Friday, August 22, 2008

Prettiest College Uniforms



T-Bone always gets at the ugliest lists before I have a chance. Such is life. Now, I want you to know that I just spent an hour going through photos of all 119 Division 1 uniforms and let me say this: 70 percent of them are extremeley similar and boring. I was, however, able to find 7 that I feel are the snazziest uniforms in real college football (D-1). If this doesn't get you pumped for college football, nothing will. (and yes, I am mocking you T-Bone, cuz that's a gay line.)


7. Virginia Cavaliers: This one goes against what T-Bone wrote about Orange making a jersey ugly. In this case, it fits perfectly. That dark blue mixed with the crossing orange swords is sweet, baby. Virginia is usually a pretty good team, but hasn't been elite for a long, long time, but it doesn't matter, becuase they look good while going 7-5 every year. Virginia was founded by Thomas Jefferson, so if you don't like their uniforms, I think that pretty much brands you as an un-patriotic terrorist.
6. West Virginia: Almost Heaven, West Virginia, Blue Ridge Mountains, Shenandoah River. Life is old there, older than the trees, younger than the mountains, growing like a breeze. Thanks for that load o' crap, John Denver. These uniforms are quite nice, unlike that song. I especially like the symbol on the helmet and arms. Yellow and Navy are not colors I would wear around, but they do fit nicely on a Football uniform. Also, the colors on the WV unifrom had to be bright, so the drunk redneck WV fans could follow the game after their tenth Old Milwaukee Beer in the second quarter. Also, they like to have sex with their cousins. (just thought I'd throw a few stereotpyes in there at the end for fun.)
5. BYU Cougars: Does it hurt me to admit this on my own blog? Of course. But I am a teller of the truth above all, and the truth is BYU's uniforms are one of the best in the nation. A great color scheme, fantastic logo, and simplicity in design make this a top notch uni. Under Gary Crowton the Cougs took a nosedive in the uniform department, switching to some of the ugliest uniforms in the nation, but under Coach Horse Mendenhall, they went back to an old school look with great results on and off the field. Too bad most of the fan base is a buch of douche bags.
4. Alabama Crimson Tide: The SEC has a bevy of fairly ugly uniforms, when looked at objectively: LSU and Florida could easily make a 10 ugliest list, but Alabama's gear is top notch. The number on the helmet is a personal favorite, and that color of red is unique to the tide. I really like the simple classic uniforms in sports, those that stand the test of time, and this is definitely one of the classics. Alabama has been a mixed bag on the field the last ten years, but with traitor Nick Saban as their coach, they should be heading for better times.
3. USC Trojans: The Trojans have a one of a kind uniform, without a doubt. I like the home and the road jerseys equally, as both reek of style and class. Add to that the fact the Trojans are one of the most intimidating forces in College Football, and the uniform must be respected. Even though the Trojans lost to the Greeks, and most of the Trojan women and children were enslaved, USC has fought back and really made a name for itself. Homer would be so proud.
2. Penn State Nittany Lions: I won't lie, I have no damned clue what a Nittany Lion is, and I refuse to use a Google search to figure it out, because I prefer not knowing in this case. The classic uniforms are somehow even older than Joe Paterno. That may be hard to believe, as Joe Pa looks about 100, but when you get something this good, you stick with it. I love the fact that there is no logo, nor insignia upon the helmet, nor name upon the front of the jersey. The uniform sends a simple message: We're just here to destroy you, nothing more, nothing less. And for most of Paterno's time at Penn State, that has been the case.
1. Notre Dame Fighting Irish: I certainly do know what a Fighting Irish is, having grown up in a half Irish family. I don't love, or even like Notre Dame football. I am certainly no Catholic. But I have to call a spade a spade and dammit, these are the best uniforms in College Football. Simple classic design, and wonderful color scheme are the base for greatness. Add the Notre Dame legacy on top and you have a uniform worth respecting and revering. How these uniforms could make a top 10 ugliest list just shows how much people hate Notre Damn, because these ain't ugly. They is pretty.
Well, that's how I see it.

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