Wednesday, September 17, 2008

NBA Look-a-Likes, Part II

Let's be honest, this kind of post is like shooting ducks in a barrel. (I know the saying is fish in a barrel, but damn, shooting ducks in a barrel would be even easier due to their larger mass.) I mean, there are literally enough dudes here to make a part 3, 4, 5, and possibly 6. Unlike, T-bone, I am not going to limit myself to rappers/recording artists for my look-a-likes. I may not even stick to the NBA if I so choose. Let's get started, shall we?

Emeka Okafor and Taye Diggs: I hope that the next season for Okafor can be entitled: How Emeka got Her Groove Back, but I have my doubts about that happening. I wonder if these two have ever actually been seen in public together, or if they were sperated at birth.

Mike D'Antoni and Tom "Viper" Skerritt: You thought we were going to go with all black guys, didn't you? You racist. Now, I wrote Viper in there because you know you had no clue what this guy's name is. Coach D and Viper have a striking resemblance with the 'stache and facial structure don't they. I wonder if D'Antoni, er, Viper remembers any of his lines from Top Gun, the most latently homoerotic movie of all time. (2 words: Volleyball Scene)

Baron Davis and Kanye West: Like ducks in a barrel, I tell you. These two not only look like identical twins, they kind of have matching styles, and a flashiness that few have. I don't know how to judge rap, but they say that Kanye's raps are full of substance, unlike B-Diddy's hoops game, which is mostly hype and Antione Walker-esque. (by "they" I didn't mean white music critics, you racist!) As an aside, it didn't make the cut, but stick some hair on Antione Walker and who do you have? Theo Huxtable. Look it up.

Stan Van Gundy and Ron Jeremy: Both are well endowed. By that I mean they make a lot of money, pervert. These two are bonded because niether feels the shame of sporting an atrocious moustache. I heard that both have scored with literally thousands of women, and Stan Van Gundy didn't have to pay the women to be with him. That's what I heard. And by the way, I hope the Van Gundy parents didn't make any other children, because when Stan is the good looking son, you have some serious problems in the gene pool.

Reggie Miller and Quark: I had to Google dude's name, but this is some funny stuff. Reggie's feathery shooting touch was otherworldy, just like Quark. The comparisons are so deep. I don't know which Race Quark is from, or even which show, but maybe a Star Trek nerd could fill me and the rest of us in.

Manu Ginobili and Balki Bartokomous: This is the best one. Look at Balki getting that gold medal there on the left. He never would have dreamed as a child growing up on the small isle of Mypos that he would win Olympic Gold. And Manu, there on the right, he never could have imagined he would one day be on the Network Sitcom Perfect Stangers, with Cousin Larry. This one makes us at the Jockstrap so happy, we do the dance of joy. (You watch that video, or else.)

I could go to the well again, and do another few cheap posts, but instead, I'll just list other people and you can google them if interested. Bye.
Jaron/Jason Collins
Zydrunus Ilgauskus/Peter Stormare
Chucky Atkins/Kevin Eubanks
Robert Horry/Will Smith
Kyle Korver/Ashton Kucher
Roy Williams/Huckleberry Hound
Shaquille O'neal/Shrek
Ricky Davis/Andre 3000
Caron Butler/Pharrell Williams
Kenyon Martin/Method Man
Flip Saunders/Mel Gibson
Vince Carter/Tiki Barber
Michael Finley/Billy Ocean
Doug Collins/James Woods
Dwight Gooden/Denzel Washington.


Rich said...

I heard Ron Jeremy did a movie called "Coaxing the Whorelando Magic"

Che said...

I can't deny CP3's greatness, but I've never been able to take him seriously. I just always chalked it up to being a Jazz nerd and my crazy man lust for Deron Williams. Then one day, my buddy Phil gave me the answer: Chris Paul looks exactly like Carlton from Fresh Prince. Not only was that true, but it made last years playoff round between the Spurs and Hornets a beautiful Fresh Prince reunion. Just like back in the day at Belair, Will Smith aka Robert Horry walked away the victor.
Stay sweet!

Anonymous said...

Funny stuff, but Top Gun's most homo-erotic scene is the bathroom scene where Maverick is in his tighty-whiteys leaning on the sink and Viper tries to console him by tenderly patting him on his naked back. You should never even touch a dude on the shoulder if he's wearing a tank top and leaning on a sink in the bathroom, I don't care if his whole family and two babies just got ejector seat-head-smashed to death in the last scene. Sorry totally gay Volleyball scene, but you're just not quite queer enough to win this battle.

Anonymous said...

How can you forget: Sam Cassel & Admiral Ackbar (from Return of the Jedi... "It's a trap")

Anonymous said...

Quark is a Ferengi from Star Trek: Deep Space Nine.

Anonymous said...

Dwight Gooden looks nothing like Denzel Washington.

Anonymous said...

Ricky Davis/Eddie Griffin

Anonymous said...

andre miller/richard pryor

Anonymous said...

Dan Marino/David Hasselhoff
Jeff Van Gundy/Vincent Schiavelli

Anonymous said...

antoine walker and cee-lo of gnarls barkley