Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Eighties Cocaine Quiz

She don't lie, she don't lie, she don't lie, cocaine. JJ Cale wrote an awesome song, made even more popular by Eric Clapton. Now, I don't know why, but for some reason, everyone, and I mean everyone was using cocaine in the 80's. I even heard babies were growing their pinky fingernails long to make it easier to get high. Ok, that isn't true, but one group of people that definitely was using cocaine was athletes. Every time you turned around, some famous athlete was getting busted for using cocaine. Some great careers were ruined by this stuff. I decided to make a quiz to see if you all remember who was using in the Eighties. I hope you don't do too well on this, or it might be a little suspicious. Assume one point for each correct answer. Answers and key provided at bottom of quiz.


1. What future Hall of Fame player would kick off the 80's cocaine craze by being caught in 1980 with 3 grams of cocaine at a customs office in Toronto, Canada?

A. Steve Carlton
B. Jim Palmer
C. Keith Hernandez
D. Lenny Dykstra
E. Ferguson Jenkins

2. This MLB Player spent over $40,000 on Cocaine in 1982, and claimed that he slid headfirst while stealing a base so as to not break the vial of coke that he hid in his hip pocket during games.

A. Vince Coleman
B. Juan Samuel
C. Tim Raines
D. Darryl Strawberry
E. Dave Parker

3. In a voluntary drug test to "End the gossip," this MLB player tested positive for cocaine in 1987 and missed a third of the season while in rehab.

A. Tim Raines
B. Dwight Gooden
C. Willie Wilson
D. Lee Mazilli
E. Steve Howe

4. This NBA baller complained that his liftime suspension in 1986 for multiple positive cocaine tests was unfair because the league never suspended Chris Mullin for being a drunk.

A. Roy Tarpley
B. Len Bias
C. John Drew
D. Michael Ray Richardson
E. Chris Mullin

5. This player was suspended a record 7 times for cocaine and alcohol abuse and proved that if you have a left arm and can throw even reasonably well, they will give you shot after shot at playing in the big leagues, even if you are tanked full of coke.

A. Steve Howe
B. Darryl Strawberry
C. Willie Wilson
D. Chili Davis
E. Randy Johnson

6. Named the 1984 NBA Comeback Player of the Year for "cleaning up" from cocaine addiction, only to be banned from the league in 1986

A. Roy Tarpley
B. David Thompson
C. Len Bias
D. John Drew
E. Kevin McHale

7. Once considered a sure-fire MLB Hall-of-Famer, had his career derailed in the early 80's due to cocaine usage. Testified during the Pittsburgh drug trials.

A. Tim Raines
B. Jim Rice
C. Willie Wilson
D. Darryl Strawberry
E. Dave Parker

8. This star proved that you can excell at Line Backer in the NFL if you are all hopped up on coke. He was not only high on the stuff most of the time, but could probably smell any cocaine the opposing quarterback was hiding in his uniform. (It was the 80's after all.)

A. Lawrence Taylor

Had to be one freebie in there.


Scoring Key
0-1 You used recreationally in the 80's, but preferred cheaper drugs like marijuana or LSD.
2-3 You used at parties, and maybe had a bender or two, but never took it into the 80's buisness office. You probably also had a mullet.
4-5 You, along with Richard Pryor, were freebasing all of the time, just to get high a little faster. You probably had Dwight Gooden on speed dial.
6-7 You certainly did things, both of a sexual and non-sexual variety, of which you are definitely regretful in order to get your cocaine on.
8 Get to rehab. Now. I don't care if you've been twice. Do it for you family. Do it. Do it.

Answer Key:
1. E. Ferguson Jenkins
2. C. Tim Raines
3. B. Dwight Gooden
4. D. Michael Ray Richardson
5. A. Steve Howe
6. D. John Drew
7. E. Dave Parker


Rich said...

Whew, I did poorly on the quiz, 0-1 unless you throw in the bonus LT question that well let's face it I already knew that one right B?
Ashamedly I must admit that I grew my pinky nail out once in the 80's. I finally had to cut it off when I gashed open my sack when I was giving it a good scratching.

Jim said...

thank you for the wonderful image of you gashing open your sack, Rich. I'll never be the same again.

Boyd, what about every player on the 1986 Miracle Mets team. Those dudes probably had a pregame line snorting competition.

Taylor said...

I got 2 right. One the freebie and the other a random guess that happened to be correct. I'm disappointed that I don't know more about cocaine in the 80s...

Rich said...

Your welcome Jim, happy to contribute to what is I'm sure, a pool of mental imagery that are capable of creating nightmares. I'm sure Boyd has given me a good base to build upon.

Cheeth said...

It finally hit me why his name was Tim "Rock" Raines.