tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-89284528771998957062024-03-12T17:27:10.861-07:00Thoughts from the JockstrapTaylorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06548435800502392525noreply@blogger.comBlogger76125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8928452877199895706.post-87323692518345050012009-01-16T14:53:00.000-08:002009-01-16T16:00:21.105-08:00Shaq NicknamesShaquille O'Neal is at it again. After showing some improvement in the area of freethrow shooting (he actually hit 11 in a row over the course of two games and is shooting like 69% over his last 100 chucks [which for him is a molten lava hot streak]) Shaquille gave himself yet another nickname, Shaqovic. His reasoning for his latest nickname is that all of the best shooters in the NBA have a last name that ends with "vich"(Stojakovic, Radmanovic, Vujacic, etc.).<br /><br />I have to admit that the big fella is funny and often times very creative when it comes to giving himself nicknames. Over the years he has dubbed himself "Shaq," "The Diesel," "Shaq Fu," "The Big Aristotle," "The Big Daddy," "Superman," "The Big Agave," "The Big Cactus," "The Big Shaqtus," "The Big Galactus," "Wilt Chamberneezy," "The Big Baryshnikov," "The Real Deal," and "Dr. Shaq" (after earning his MBA). His back yard at his Miami mansion had a water slide and a tiki-bar and so he named it Shaqapulco.<br /><br />SportsCenter ran a story on this last week and asked viewers to come up with their own nicknames for Shaq. All I can say is that the list was lame as lame can be and for this reason I started thinking of my own nicknames for the great Shaquille O'Neal.<br /><div><br /></div><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 311px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijuEQnX2TYSjrTYzUliVlrj-EL2-SbNoFKIFuG4H02eJrhf0qfneCR70D54GXnqySd5U0QKxF2Nv91ANxmOwoma7fLunt4YYUvS0OSZp__kXU6GAMrVw8DDQQc_bjQ2N772hT6sVMGnDw/s320/shaq_lsu1a.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5292044465467402290" /><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">1. ShaqDonalds:</span> Take a look at some rookie footage of Shaq on YouTube and you will see that he has done nothing but eat since he made it into the NBA. I thought he was fat when he played for LSU, but dude looks like he did that experiment from the movie <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">Supersize Me</span> where he had to eat at least one of everything from the McDonald's menu in thirty days only his experiment has spanned 16 seasons. Is he still good? Yes. Is he one of the best? Yes. Is he twice the size he used to be? Hell yes. Step away from the Big Shaq, Fillet O'Neal, and the Sham-Shaq-shake and mix in a salad big guy.</div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">2. Radio Shaq:</span> I thought this one would have been a gimmie during Shaq's ill advised rap career. Albums included <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">Shaq Diesel, Shaq-Fu: Da Return, You Can't Stop the Reign, Respect, </span>and <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">the Best of Shaquille O'Neal</span>. That's right folks, he has a "best of" CD. My favorite lyric you ask? Simple: "<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">I flow like a stream, better yet a river. You need to call me Mailman 'cause Karl can't deliver."</span> Brilliant Radio Shaq, brilliant.</div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">3. The Big Heart-A-Shaq:</span> It's not nice to say, but let's face it, dudes this huge do not live long lives. If he is as big as he is playing basketball and working out almost every day of his life what is he going to look like when he retires? A black Andre the Giant that's what. Before he is 50 years old he is going to die of a massive heat-a-Shaq just like Andre and the saddest thing will be that Andre will have died the better actor.</div><div><br /></div><div>I was going to put up a top five, but I see now that most of my nicknames for Shaq are weight related, so I will stop here. Feel free to give me your ideas. I only ask that you bring it harder than the ESPN audience that could come up with nothing better than "the Big Fella". Please. I know that this has been a little short, but I've really got to go take a Shaq. Peace. </div><script type="text/javascript" src="http://widgets.ballhype.com/story/000/533/533456.js"></script><br /><noscript><a href="http://ballhype.com/story/shaq_nicknames/">BallHype - Shaq Nicknames</a></noscript><br /><script type="text/javascript">ballhype_story_widget_533456(false);</script>Jimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08711443970109424489noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8928452877199895706.post-29385848270600349602009-01-15T11:48:00.000-08:002009-01-15T12:36:43.816-08:00Who is the best NFL player you've ever seen?Who is the best NFL player you've ever seen? I ask this question because every national radio show I listen to this week is debating whether or not Larry Fitzgerald is now the best receiver in the NFL. I say yes, but it got me thinking about who would be the best NFL player I have ever seen. I'm relatively young, so my history doesn't go back to guys like Jim Brown, Gale Sayers, Roger Staubach, etc., but I have seen Joe Montana, John Elway, Walter Payton, Emmitt Smith, Jerry Rice, Lawrence Taylor, and Ronnie Lott. But none of those guys would get my vote because Barry Sanders is the best football player I have ever seen. As icing on the cake, he was also the best player I ever used on <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vYFRSnjVyM4">Tecmo Super Bowl </a>too (with apologies to Bo Jackson and QB-Eagles, who both contend for that crown). If anyone reading this has seen Jim Brown, please post who you think is better and why, because I can't imagine a better back than Barry.<br /><br />I used to look forward to Thanksgiving day just so I could watch Barry Sanders play football. The Lions weren't on television too often (especially since the market I live in plays mostly the Broncos and 49ers) and I always expected something amazing. Barry had a way of making people look stupid that I've never seen anyone else come close to, other than maybe Reggie Bush in college. Barry never rushed for under 1,100 yards in a season and averaged over 1,500 yards per season. His lowest season total (1,115) came when he missed the last 5 games with an injury.<br /><br />He had 14 straight games of 100+ yards in 1997, an NFL record. He fumbled only 41 times in his career - only once per 83 touches (for a reference point, Jim Brown fumbled once every 43 touches). Barry played on a crappy team and he was the only weapon; he didn't have an Aikman or Irvin to distract the defense. And he still did stuff like this:<br /><br /><object height="344" width="425"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/UTvrKBSxSKI&hl=en&fs=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/UTvrKBSxSKI&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br /><br /><br />The quality isn't great, but you get the point. If you want more check this one <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o-ACXdm3Ebs&feature=related">out</a> (notice the crazy juke on 51 in the second one). He could stop on a dime, break ankles, and spin at full speed. He had defenders looking foolish and leaving their straps on the field on a regular basis. I'm not saying Barry Sanders is the best football player of all time, but he is the best I've ever seen. What's your take?Taylorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06548435800502392525noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8928452877199895706.post-8455076217856628802009-01-12T23:12:00.000-08:002009-01-13T14:41:25.598-08:00The BCS is Awesome.<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgg22TGoSgKXJadMv43F5SwditJF9vBs0A7D3v-oFpErm3FYXjQqPlBnOLYLbjKtT59Q-R-mgfIyuEHvhh6JZs02M_ti3xw7W74cerCW0a9Bbo5wVuihDeX4kTmuJt5Vkz3gYkxLN0vUY65/s1600-h/BCS.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5290679276005546946" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; WIDTH: 120px; CURSOR: pointer; HEIGHT: 108px" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgg22TGoSgKXJadMv43F5SwditJF9vBs0A7D3v-oFpErm3FYXjQqPlBnOLYLbjKtT59Q-R-mgfIyuEHvhh6JZs02M_ti3xw7W74cerCW0a9Bbo5wVuihDeX4kTmuJt5Vkz3gYkxLN0vUY65/s320/BCS.jpg" border="0" /></a>I mean it. I know Boyd says poo on the BCS, but come on, it's awesome. What other sport has you pissing and moaning about who deserves to be called the best days (and probably weeks) after the final game was played? I don't remember anyone talking about how the Patriots should have actually been the NFL champs, or the Lakers as the NBA champs. This is what makes the BCS so great: it is consistently debated and no one ever stops talking about it.<br /><br />Utah and Texas fans are up in arms right now because they got "screwed by the BCS." If college football had a plus-1 (as everyone seems to be pimping right now) the Utes wouldn't have even gotten in. So, a full playoff would be great. But how many teams? 8? 12? 16? There is always going to be some complaint in college football, so why not let the complaining be about the BCS and who gets hosed every year? It makes for great debate. I can sit around with my friends and debate the BCS for hours. With a playoff, it would be something like this: Well, I figured Florida would win and they did. Captivating. I'd rather debate what would happen if Utah played Florida or USC than discuss who just won a playoff. For my money, the BCS gives us something extra to talk about, something to get irate about.<br /><br />Everyone wants some kind of a playoff, but how often does the best team win a single-elimination playoff? Was Kansas truly the best team in college basketball last year? Were the Giants really the best team in the NFL? Does anyone really think the Cardinals, Eagles, Ravens or Steelers is the best team in the league this season? Mostly just their own fans. The NBA and MLB both do it right - a series. You can't really make the argument that the Celtics weren't the best team in the NBA last year because they had to go through 4 series' in order to win the trophy. But, the Giants as the best team in the NFL last year after the season the Patriots had? No - the sun shines on every dog's a$ at least once. The G men played their best game of the season when it mattered. It doesn't mean they were the best team in the NFL, but they were crowned champions. In a 7-game series, the Pats win in 6 max. But without it, the 10-6 Giants get the crown. But at least they had to go through a playoff, right?<br /><br />If a college football playoff could be done that included at least 8 teams, it would be awesome. I can only assume the ratings would be through the roof. But how do you decide who gets in? Each of the BCS conferences get one team in and the other two are at-large? If that's the case this year, then eligible for the two at-large spots would be Utah (12-0), Alabama (12-1), Texas (11-1), <span style="FONT-STYLE: italic">The</span> Ohio State (10-2), Boise State (12-0), and Texas Tech (11-1). Who do you leave out? Or do you just put in the top 8 teams regardless (<span style="FONT-STYLE: italic">not</span> irregardless) of conference affiliation? Personally, I think that would be awesome, but current BCS conferences would throw a hissy fit and Notre Dame would find some way to buy themselves a guaranteed spot using NBC's money. But would a playoff like this (or any kind) put a damper on the regular season? That's what all these college football experts keep saying - the BCS makes the regular season mean something. Would a playoff change that? Would it become like college basketball, where only the die-hard fans pay attention before the tourney starts, or would it increase in popularity and build on the already growing fan base?<br /><br />The point is, nothing in college football is ever going to work. Maybe they should go half an NCAA basketball tournament - a 32 (.5) team playoff. At least that way the only team whining would be #33, and no one gives a deuce about them. The BCS allows the controversy that is college football to be put on display all season long, most especially for one week in early January for everyone to watch. It's not perfect, but it sure makes for some good debate. The BCS is awesome.Taylorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06548435800502392525noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8928452877199895706.post-29368515077445654362009-01-09T08:11:00.000-08:002009-01-09T10:36:05.744-08:00To BCS or not to BCS? That is the Question.So the NCAA College Football season is over, the Bowls have been played out, and the Poll votes have been cast. Now that it's all over, I have to tell you, I'm a little disappointed with the results. Florida beat Oklahoma 24-14 in a sloppy, boring BCS Championship game last night, and only 16 voters had the sack to vote Utah #1 in the AP poll this morning after they dominated Alabama, who held the nation's top ranking for most of the season, 31-17 in the Sugar Bowl last week. I find this whole BCS mess very sad and I'll tell you why.<div><br /></div><div>It seems that most of the national media and most of the coaches, especially those who's conference champions are excluded from an automatic BCS bowl bid (i.e. the Mountain West), do not like the BCS. Every time I turn on SportsCenter I hear this guy or that guy talking about a playoff and how that is the only way to escape from the ambiguity, confusion, and conjecture that the BCS system always seems to generate. But the problem is, when these same guys who complain about the system have a chance to stir things up and actually make a statement by going against the BCS and voting in a national champion that does not fall in line with the BCS's chosen champ, they don't have the guts to do it. And if ever there was a year for them to do this it was this year.</div><div><br /></div><div>The University of Utah beat five teams that were ranked in the top 25 when they played them (Michigan, Oregon State, TCU, BYU, and Alabama). Of those five teams only one (Michigan) turned out to be a stinker. The other four are still ranked in the top 25 in the AP poll. The Mountain West, long considered a mediocre conference, has three teams in the top 25 and Air Force also proved to be a quality program capable of scoring points in bunches. Utah beat Oregon State who beat USC. Utah killed Alabama who Florida struggled to beat. And of all the reasons for AP voter to vote Utah number one: the fact that Utah was the only team in America that beat every single one of their opponents. 13-0 is a big statement and the Utes are the only team that can make it.</div><div><br /></div><div>Sportscasters, writers, and coaches do not like to take chances that might make them look foolish in the eyes of their peers. They don't want to predict upsets. When they fill out their March Madness brackets they all go with the chalk. It's an understandable behavior. For example, in last years NCAA Men's Basketball Tournament nobody filled out their bracket with the 10th seeded Davidson Wildcats beating 7th seeded Gonzaga, 2nd seeded Georgetown, 3rd seeded Wisconsin, and narrowly losing (57-59) to number 1 seeded, and eventual national champion, Kansas. Did anybody take any flack for not advancing Davidson to the elite eight in their bracket? Hell no. Gonzaga should have taken care of them in the first round because they were ranked higher and thus the better team. Right?</div><div><br /></div><div>That's why the NCAA Basketball tournament is such a beautiful thing. They <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">play</span></span> the games because, as history has shown, you never know what's going to happen until you play the games. Did anybody outside of the State of Utah think that the Utes were going to win the Sugar Bowl? There was no way a crappy team for the weak Mountain West Conference was going to beat a powerhouse from the SEC. Almost unanimously the nation's media has dubbed the SEC the most physical conference in the country and Alabama this year was that conference's most physical team. The SEC has more money, better facilities, better recruits, better coaches, better starters, and better back ups than the Mountain West. The SEC is bigger, faster, stronger, and more athletic than the MWC. There wasn't one player on the Utah team upon which Alabama would have spent one recruiting dollar. Everybody knows that. But when they actually <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">played the game</span> Utah beat seven shades of shit out of the Crimson Tide and that's why the BCS sucks.</div><div><br /></div><div>In a playoff all of the biases, speculation, and discrimination can be washed away. Teams can actually line up and decide who is better by their play on the field. The final score decides who the National Champion is not a computer program. But it is what it is. Florida finished #1 and Utah was voted #2 in the AP poll because too many people were worried about what everyone else would think. The Utes ended up #4 in the Coaches Poll and Florida received all but one first place votes. Coaches are required by rule to vote for the BCS champion, but one coach bucked against the system and voted Utah #1 (God bless you Kyle Whittingham).</div><div><br /></div><div>And here is the most confusing thing of all. Florida is the National Champion in both the AP Poll and the Coaches' Poll, but if you look at the final BCS Rankings, after all the bowl games have been played, 2 loss Oklahoma is still ranked #1 with Florida (who beat OKU) at #2! Does any of this make sense to anyone?</div><div><br /></div><div>Oh well, what else can I say that hasn't already been said. Congratulations Florida on your retarded "National Championship", I guess.</div><div><br /></div><div>P.S. Phil, the "Roll Tide" cake that you brought to our Sugar Bowl party was delicious. Thanks.</div><br /><script type="text/javascript" src="http://widgets.ballhype.com/story/000/524/524157.js"></script><br /><noscript><a href="http://ballhype.com/story/to_bcs_or_not_to_bcs_that_is_the_question/">BallHype - To BCS or not to BCS? That is the Question.</a></noscript><br /><script type="text/javascript">ballhype_story_widget_524157(false);</script>Jimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08711443970109424489noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8928452877199895706.post-6592527039937596162009-01-05T23:01:00.000-08:002009-01-05T23:16:52.278-08:00Predictions for 2009By the end of the week we should have this site revamped because we are expanding a bit. Of course we want to thank everyone who has kept up with us so far and we hope you keep coming to see what we have to spew at you next.<br /><br />Everyone seems to make New Year’s resolutions when the calendar flips to January. I made a couple this year, but my prediction is that I won’t accomplish any of them for more than a month. So instead of making a New Year’s resolution post, here are some predictions for 2009. Most of them are predictions, but some of them are things that I just want to happen. As always, feel free to add what you expect to see.<br /><br /><br />Brett Farve will retire. Please.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimDiQlWBK8YBGeZ4R1DD3HtJNLQS8q0YfKoCJX9FIkCYbMatLzrvznP8f_d3r0nw4IiTysGzfN1Wt-GO1TlYEa8K7Qmy3wd4GksYQzqMc3fKMg-lHGZU5CQDo7zyJFkmE3XdczQgSsLQf-/s1600-h/FARVE.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 186px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimDiQlWBK8YBGeZ4R1DD3HtJNLQS8q0YfKoCJX9FIkCYbMatLzrvznP8f_d3r0nw4IiTysGzfN1Wt-GO1TlYEa8K7Qmy3wd4GksYQzqMc3fKMg-lHGZU5CQDo7zyJFkmE3XdczQgSsLQf-/s320/FARVE.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5288075123318942642" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Now that I have my required anti-Farve comment out of the way, 2009 will also bring the following:<br /><br />The BCS will screw someone next year, just like it did to Texas and Utah this year.<br /><br />Joe Paterno will make it through the entire year. Not just his job, but his life too.<br /><br />The Utah Utes will finish third in the Mountain West in football, as they are typically accustomed to under Kyle Whittingham.<br /><br />If Tim Tebow decides to stay in school, the Gators will go undefeated next season and Tebow will win his second Heisman trophy.<br /><br />An important college football trend will continue: players will continue to hold up four fingers to let people know when the fourth quarter is beginning. We lay people appreciate that.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtwyj9yiQ_3BeuGxH1XEQ948VPDYC3XjGA0HclSTQrR3S-ry5Z0QqnaqMdZ0sf8teZUwf4Pac3zCBEHbETpe8EsMSCnYdu1IT-M8Gkknlh2nigNVjqbe-3B1ycuAqCzx35jfbYQmElHfQC/s1600-h/LIONS.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 126px; height: 100px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtwyj9yiQ_3BeuGxH1XEQ948VPDYC3XjGA0HclSTQrR3S-ry5Z0QqnaqMdZ0sf8teZUwf4Pac3zCBEHbETpe8EsMSCnYdu1IT-M8Gkknlh2nigNVjqbe-3B1ycuAqCzx35jfbYQmElHfQC/s320/LIONS.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5288074874859934770" border="0" /></a><br />The Detroit Lions will show marked improvement by going 3-13 next season. Just for the record, I was on the bandwagon for the Lions unblemished season pretty early on this season. I knew they could do it.<br /><br />Reggie Bush will again not reach 1,000 yards rushing.<br /><br />The Seattle Seahawks will return to their rightful place as perennial NFC West champs.<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhL96_iZpHOxzmKM69Y6DfmsLBQGedRLNzG096AeXP8FlN1e7HCpunvJVmstO56B1Jh7xrnzFo8RTXDdFRFJr-pc78p4Fix9eJI8EbstZJPcVJrwR4Fh3MKXM4J8TK5ZYYPsXNoyByQp8KJ/s1600-h/T.O..htm"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 92px; height: 131px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhL96_iZpHOxzmKM69Y6DfmsLBQGedRLNzG096AeXP8FlN1e7HCpunvJVmstO56B1Jh7xrnzFo8RTXDdFRFJr-pc78p4Fix9eJI8EbstZJPcVJrwR4Fh3MKXM4J8TK5ZYYPsXNoyByQp8KJ/s320/T.O..htm" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5288074505545388898" border="0" /></a><br /><br />The Cowboys will implode and TO will light the fuse.<br /><br />The New York Yankees will make the playoffs only to lose in the first round.<br /><br />The New York Mets will make the playoffs only to lose in the first round.<br /><br />North Carolina will not win the NCAA basketball championship this year. I’m not sure who will win it, but it won’t be UNC. Or Duke.<br /><br />Stephen Curry will hang 50 on someone.<br /><br />The Boston Celtics will beat the Lakers in the NBA Finals. Again. It’ll go 7 this time, but Boston will pull it out. Again. (unlike on Christmas, when the Lakers defeated the Celtics. Jim has mentioned this in past posts, so I'll leave it at that...)<br /><br />I will finally admit that LeBron James is better than Kobe Bryant. I still can’t do it <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVYBjvhHArFVBX3OW58MTub5OVBeKA_5job5g9SfMG34ntCEa1i4Lr8QyxM79Yre_7_y_tPJlTxaNJFACmwBBBXOxpGAP21FkssrJq5oPFDAzkXhrLBsBtYi9gKZfcxosocaG-oAbFOjlo/s1600-h/PP.htm"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 90px; height: 135px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVYBjvhHArFVBX3OW58MTub5OVBeKA_5job5g9SfMG34ntCEa1i4Lr8QyxM79Yre_7_y_tPJlTxaNJFACmwBBBXOxpGAP21FkssrJq5oPFDAzkXhrLBsBtYi9gKZfcxosocaG-oAbFOjlo/s320/PP.htm" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5288074300241370434" border="0" /></a>yet.<br /><br />Jim and Boyd will continue to be firmly planted on Paul Pierce’s jockstrap.Taylorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06548435800502392525noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8928452877199895706.post-7841634819228901152009-01-02T10:07:00.001-08:002009-01-02T11:47:09.529-08:00New Year's ResolutionsEvery year at this time people all over the world decide to put their collective foot down and make some changes in their sad lives. The New Year's Resolution is something to which each of us have fallen victim over the years. I myself have purchased the <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">Torso Tiger</span>, the <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">Ab Roller</span>, the <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">Torso Tornado</span>, and that one ab thingy that you attach to your abs and turn on the electricity and it makes your abs contract while you watch TV and eat nachos, which by the way did NOT work (that Bruce Lee was full of shit, man). How many of us have made the resolution to lose 20 or 30 pounds only to reach the end of the next year with an extra 10 pounds to add to our goal? A wise man once defined insanity as doing the same thing over and over again but expecting different results, so why do we put ourselves through this nonsense year after year? I suppose we all need a little hope in our lives, even if most of the time it is a fool's hope.<div><br /></div><div>What follows is a list of New Year's Resolutions, some of my own and some that certain sport's franchises/figures need, to not only make but accomplish if we are to make 2009 a better year the 2008.</div><div><br /></div><div>1. I resolve to not get so damned angry with my teams -- Over the last few years I have gone in to many sports season's with high hopes. The Mets fresh off of signing Carlos Beltran and Carlos Delgado looked poised to win the NL East and maybe even the World Series. Then came the catastrophic collapse of two years ago. All is well, they'll just sign the best free agent pitcher of the off season in Johan Santana and World Series here we come. Not so fast Mets' fan as another late season collapse left them inches from the playoffs (damn you Aaron Heilman). My anger at these unfortunate events was so intense that I almost had a couple of strokes. My wife tells me it's just a game and that makes me even more irate, but in the end she is correct. I need to take it down a notch when the Celtics lose three out of four on a west coast road trip, and realize that three games do not a season make or else I'm going to pop a blood vessel in my brain.</div><div><br /></div><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 150px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFTDF1FspOudpXZyI6N1WNBpzRnFI17TXkWAUpjsFIE6LU8lgMafvg6ur8zS8YNxbjrAtLLACXpNljPqjCQiUWz9gP7NS4uS7tKEFO85kV1Ppmd8_nPkSQxnkMjAH9-w-SS0O73vPTo8o/s200/t1_boozer.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5286781451555855410" /><div>2. Jazz Fan needs to resolve to calm down and get in touch with reality -- Yes Carlos Boozer is a candy ass and yes he is going to get hurt a lot and stay out longer than most players will with the same injuries. You have to realize that Booz is all about the Benjamins (ask Cleveland Fan) so he is not going to play unless he is 100%, period. You also have to realize that when he <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">is </span>healthy he is one of the best power forwards in the NBA. You can count on him for 20 and 10 night in and night out and as good as Paul Millsap has been he is still a couple of years away from Boozer's production level. You had better hope that Larry H. Miller decides to loosen his wallet strings and resigns both Booz and Millsap (and Okur, but probably not) instead of letting Boozer take his game and his injuries to the Heat in the off season.</div><div><br /></div><div>3. Brett Favre needs to resolve to retire, for real this time -- Brett, come on man look at your interceptions, look at your quaterback rating, look at your gray hair and beard set, look at your helmet for hell's sake you play for the Jets, the Jets! Can't you hear the people of Greenbay crying? Can't you hear the people of the Earth yearning to hear other stories on SportsCenter than your tragic tale? Please Brett just let it go. Let it go like you do when you see your outside receiver open in a small window downfield even if the Defense is in a cover two and the Strong Safety is clearly cheating to that side, just begging you to do it. Let it go, Brett. Please!</div><div><br /></div><div>4. Yankees please resolve to die. That's it, just roll over and die. (Lakers, too) Please.</div><div><br /></div><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 192px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZ6jjR2dBoplamwcWYMujrfvcfuFT0zSlIW-wZTIpgCAfrY_YXOiVnf1LU6Lerq9ozTxTo_QM_BvXbou72GonaHK6o8HMXrBUYZ0_PUv_JXzr3Kw-2UgkuMK_NQGMyIpuwU9FMJKuBBR4/s200/billy.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5286782255562420898" /><div>5. I resolve to stop watching late night info-mercials and buying things -- No more ab machines, no more pull-up bars, no more perfect push-ups, nada. I'm done thinking that I <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">can</span> make boatloads of money placing tiny classified ads in the newspaper. I don't need a knife that can cut through a hammer and then slice a tomato with surgical precision (even though I bought a set of these knives and gave them to Boyd for his wedding and he has been nothing but happy with their performance). I resolve to ignore Ron Popeil and Billy Mays no matter how convincing their arguments. I just hope that Danny Ainge isn't up late at night when a "Sign Stephon Marbury, he's not a locker room cancer" info-mercial comes on. Turn off the TV and back away from the phone, Danny. Trust me, no matter how good these late night wares seem, you're just setting yourself up for a world of disappointment and shame.</div><div><br /></div><div>Feel free to add your own New Year's Resolutions or don't, whatever. </div><br /><script type="text/javascript" src="http://widgets.ballhype.com/story/000/515/515339.js"></script><br /><noscript><a href="http://ballhype.com/story/new_year_s_resolutions_2/">BallHype - New Year's Resolutions</a></noscript><br /><script type="text/javascript">ballhype_story_widget_515339(false);</script>Jimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08711443970109424489noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8928452877199895706.post-3201036305841895232008-12-30T01:55:00.001-08:002008-12-30T02:04:53.959-08:00Predicting the BCS BowlsBefore I get to the BCS Bowls, I have two important things to get to. First, this website will be going through some changes in the next little while and we’ll keep you posted on what’s happening. More to come later. Second, and I think I can speak for The Strap as a group here, I sincerely hope that we’ve seen the last of Brett Farve in an NFL uniform. Just put on your Wranglers and go Brett. Please don’t put us through the constant updates on SportsCenter and NFL Live. Just get it over with.<br /><br />Because the BCS Bowls are coming up in the next week and a half, it’s preview time. Before the season started I wrote a college football preview and picked Oklahoma to beat <span style="font-style: italic;">The</span> Ohio State in the BCS title game. I’ll get to the title game later, but at least I got one of the teams correct. There are at least two or three non-BCS bowl games that are better matchups than the Orange Bowl, so I’m not even going to recognize that as a BCS game–therefore, it will be left out of this preview.<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Sugar Bowl</span> - Utah vs. Alabama<br />Before the season I said that Bama was overrated and didn’t deserve to be in the top 25. Clearly I am retarded. Alabama is absolutely the real deal. Utah didn’t play the toughest schedule, but they rose to the challenge and are the only remaining unbeaten team in college football. The Utes know how to win close games and they are a complete team–solid in all three phases.<br /><br />Andre Smith deciding to go all Reggie Bush and being ruled ineligible for the game helps Utah tremendously. Smith is a definite top-5 pick, so his loss will be big. Alabama is a good running team and will try to pound the ball against the U. John Parker Wilson has only 6 touchdown passes all season, so don’t expect him to test the Utah secondary all that much, especially if the Tide is able to move the ball on the ground. How Alabama is 12-1 with only 6 TD passes from their starting quarterback is beyond me. If the Utes can make Bama one dimensional they have a legitimate chance to pull off the upset.<br /><br />The Utah offense struggled against the best defense they’ve played this year in TCU. Can they do any better against Alabama? My gut tells me the answer is yes, but it won’t be enough to win the game.<br />Alabama wins by 10.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Rose Bowl</span> - USC vs. Penn State<br />USC and Penn State have a combined 22-2 record, making this one of the more intriguing bowl games this year. USC’s defense is as good as it gets: they’re giving up 7.8 points per game. There are NFL players at every position on the Trojan defense, including Moala, Griffen, Cushing, Mays, Ellison, Maualuga... I could keep going, but the point is this: SC’s defense is flat out loaded.<br /><br />Can Penn State score enough to win this game? Maybe, because the USC offense is nowhere near as dynamic without Norm Chow as the OC. With the talent they have on offense, USC should be putting up way more points than they have so far this season. The fact that USC doesn’t run it up like they have in past years bodes well for PSU. Penn State has a good offense with a mobile quarterback, the best offensive line in college football, and athletic wide receivers. The Nittany Lions probably won’t be able to march the ball up and down the field, so they’ll need some big plays from the wideouts for them to get the victory.<br /><br />Nobody prepares for big games better than Pete, so I expect the Trojans to look awesome in beating Penn State. Plus, Penn State is from the Big Ten, which doesn’t prepare them well for a team like USC because the Big Ten sucks, is boring and overrated.<br />USC by at least 14.<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Fiesta Bowl</span> - Texas vs. <span style="font-style: italic;">The</span> Ohio State<br />Is Terrelle Pryor the next Vince Young? I don’t mean that in the “is he going to take off in his car and have his coach call the police because he’s nervous his QB is on his way to commit suicide” kind of way, but is he the next big dual-threat college football quarterback? He certainly has the running skills. His passing is improving, but until he can show improved accuracy, don’t expect him to do what Vince did. Having Beanie Wells in the backfield sure doesn’t hurt (I’d like to see him in the Seahawks’ backfield next year). Wells has been injured at times this year, but when healthy he’s the best running back in college football. <span style="font-style: italic;">The</span> Ohio State offense would be much more dangerous if Pryor were a better passer. Expect Texas to load up on the run because of this. The Buckeyes still have a very good defense that should keep them in the game.<br /><br />Texas has a more diverse offense than <span style="font-style: italic;">The</span> Ohio State and Colt McCoy has been awesome this year. McCoy might even run for more yards than Pryor in this game. Texas can score through the air, on the ground, defensively, and on special teams. It will be interesting to see how the Texas offense does against a good defense–something they didn’t see in the Big 12 this year.<br /><br />A lot of people were pissed that <span style="font-style: italic;">The</span> Ohio State University got into a BCS game, but I think they’ll show up for this one. I’ll pick the upset and go with the Buckeyes to pull this one out by a touchdown.<br />Ohio State by 7.Taylorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06548435800502392525noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8928452877199895706.post-12037381295491168072008-12-24T10:11:00.000-08:002008-12-24T10:23:17.485-08:00'Twas the Night Before Christmas'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house,<br />Not a creature was stirring, not even Eddie House;<br />The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,<br />In hopes the Commissioner soon would be there;<br />The Jazz were all nestled a snug in their beds,<br />They dreamed of Milwaukee and that damned Michael Redd:<br />And Pacman in his 'kerchief, and Ray Lewis in his cap,<br />Had just settled down for some VIP dances, lap.<br />When out on the filed there arose such a clatter,<br />‘Cause the Yankees bought all the best pitchers and batters.<br />Away to the window Usain Bolt flew like a flash,<br />He needed more light to inject roids in his ass.<br />Warren Moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow,<br />Make you question his morals, but you never know,<br />When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,<br />But Kim Kardashian with Reggie Bush slapping her rear,<br />Devin Hester was there, so lively and quick,<br />Returning kicks he was awesome, catching balls he sucks (well you know).<br />More rapid than eagles every kick was the same,<br />He whistled to blockers, and called them by name;<br />"Now, Vasher! Now, Forte! Now, Briggs and Rex Grossman!<br />On, Orton! On Urlacher! On, Kreutz and Greg Olsen!<br />From Historic Soldier Field, to the snow in old Lambeau,<br />But enough about football, let’s talk about Rondo.”<br />As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,<br />Rajon is unstoppable when he mounts to the sky,<br />He dribbles and rebounds, to the backboard he slashes,<br />He scores or to KG, to Pierce, or Ray Allen he passes.<br />And then, in a twinkling, he steals the ball from your point,<br />Then he throws down a dunk and blows the roof off the joint.<br />On Christmas the Celtics will play in LA,<br />A-listers will go ‘cause they’re down with Yahweh.<br />Rondo will run circles ‘round Fisher like a dancer,<br />He won’t use his kid to leverage a trade with his cancer.<br />And if Andrew Bynum puts the ball on the floor,<br />Rondo will strip him ‘cause his dribbling is poor.<br />He’ll spring to the backcourt, to his team gave a whistle,<br />And away they’ll all fly like the down of a thistle.<br />The Celtics will run up the floor to their spots,<br />Sugar Ray to the corner ‘cause his shooting’s been hot.<br />He’ll look to the left and then pass to the right,<br />And KG will jump toward the rim, out of sight.<br />He’ll catch the sweet oop, throw it down with some thunder,<br />The Lakers will cry, their dreams torn all asunder.<br />And Rondo will yell, ere he drives out of sight,<br />"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night."<br /><script type="text/javascript" src="http://widgets.ballhype.com/story/000/507/507911.js"></script><br /><noscript><a href="http://ballhype.com/story/twas_the_night_before_christmas/">BallHype - 'Twas the Night Before Christmas</a></noscript><br /><script type="text/javascript">ballhype_story_widget_507911(false);</script>Jimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08711443970109424489noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8928452877199895706.post-55233221661806935772008-12-23T13:49:00.000-08:002008-12-23T15:39:23.467-08:00NBA Power RankingsTo go along with Boyd’s post about the L, I decided to hop on the NBA bandwagon this week. How could I not, with the Lakers-Celtics on Christmas day? I don’t watch the league as much as PlayBoyd does, but here are my power rankings for the NBA for Christmas week (I’m only going with the top half of the league). Am I the only one who thinks that the East might be better than the West top to bottom? The West has been so dominant for the last several years that it’s strange to see so many crappy teams in the West.<br /><br /><br />1. <span style="font-style: italic;">Boston Celtics</span><br />The Celtics certainly appear hungry to repeat. As long as they stay healthy, it seems that there are only be two realistic threats to a repeat. Well, maybe three if they have to face Atlanta in the playoffs (second round matchup perhaps?). Rondo is playing out of his mind and the defense continues to be impressive.<br /><br />2.<span style="font-style: italic;"> Cleveland Cavaliers</span><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcpnXLq2zBDZqQ_jWeX6uM_1zgRJK0tKYMcBYE1dHYUKm1ewyYUP97TMsa30sQVv1tr7zDWtQuINkvpD6Zg9EXVb4el55TXtQCYjiVv6dzz9r8fz9lD1zMWYvIelQLrkOVtir1mHm4EzIa/s1600-h/LEBRON.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 93px; height: 125px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcpnXLq2zBDZqQ_jWeX6uM_1zgRJK0tKYMcBYE1dHYUKm1ewyYUP97TMsa30sQVv1tr7zDWtQuINkvpD6Zg9EXVb4el55TXtQCYjiVv6dzz9r8fz9lD1zMWYvIelQLrkOVtir1mHm4EzIa/s320/LEBRON.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5283129966604084786" border="0" /></a><br />LeBron James has been ridiculous this year. I’ve been a proponent of Kobe Bryant as the best player in the league for the last few years, but LBJ has me rethinking this. He’s playing at a different level this year and it shows in Cleveland’s record. Cleveland is really putting opponents away in the second half this season, outscoring opponents by a wide margin. They look legit.<br /><br />3.<span style="font-style: italic;"> Los Angeles Lakers</span><br />The Lakers haven’t looked as impressive in the past few weeks (just suffered their first back-to-back defeats of the season) but are still the class of the West. Bynum and Gasol are meshing well together so far, but Kobe has not been as dominant as he was last season. The offense doesn’t seem to be as precise as it was last year from what I’ve seen, and the injury to Farmar could be big. With all those questions, the Lakers are still the best team in the West and have the potential to win the NBA Championship.<br /><br />4. <span style="font-style: italic;">Orlando Magic</span><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUOCJEttuXeh0cN_kreXu6_VGxMvgjzRt4Idb_-HLXsJwozW4n0qb88UgLj2wcFYX-HPKYXj2hJ-e-a9z_6sDlbOvzBXQZd5dBA2rUp_4mQRKprREy0DSfi5VDw-Fs5vSQckiIJhvoEEWP/s1600-h/DWIGHT.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 84px; height: 126px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUOCJEttuXeh0cN_kreXu6_VGxMvgjzRt4Idb_-HLXsJwozW4n0qb88UgLj2wcFYX-HPKYXj2hJ-e-a9z_6sDlbOvzBXQZd5dBA2rUp_4mQRKprREy0DSfi5VDw-Fs5vSQckiIJhvoEEWP/s400/DWIGHT.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5283129791917679106" border="0" /></a><br />I picked Atlanta to get the upset and win the Southeast division over Orlando. While it could still happen, Orlando has looked really freaking good so far this season. They just had a three game winning streak, beating Portland, San Antonio, and the Lakers. Impressive. Dwight Howard is an absolute beast, as evidenced by the way he destroyed Greg Oden last week. That was awesome—welcome to the league, rookie.<br /><br />5. <span style="font-style: italic;">New Orleans Hornets</span><br />The Hornets have won 11 of their last 13 and Chris Paul is being Chris Paul. New Orleans doesn’t look that great on paper but the pieces they have just fit so well together. I’m interested to see what happens in the NO-LAL game tonight.<br /><br />6. <span style="font-style: italic;">Houston Rockets</span><br />The Rockets look good for not having been all that healthy so far. If Houston is healthy come playoff time they will be dangerous for the Lakers. Artest plays Kobe as well as anyone in the league.<br /><br />7. <span style="font-style: italic;">San Antoni</span><span style="font-style: italic;">o Spurs</span><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYkMuqZlLKlUAk8nHvy2E_41g7No4CC2FtFSn2HDPx2v5pCzGgudvkymIfrL1M-wlugz4DPk2puHw9RZ95m4y1vSA63alS14GxYGlG2fcL-7xFZKqKhnEEcmNYicYD9i0wHA8t7oqMGPxU/s1600-h/MANU.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 82px; height: 122px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYkMuqZlLKlUAk8nHvy2E_41g7No4CC2FtFSn2HDPx2v5pCzGgudvkymIfrL1M-wlugz4DPk2puHw9RZ95m4y1vSA63alS14GxYGlG2fcL-7xFZKqKhnEEcmNYicYD9i0wHA8t7oqMGPxU/s320/MANU.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5283129424541477826" border="0" /></a><br />Tony Parker is playing at a high level this year (see his 55 and 10 game earlier this season) and Tim Duncan is taking care of business as usual. Ginobili has been pretty solid since coming back from injury and we can expect him to only get better. I still hate him, but when he is on offensively he is as close to unstoppable as anyone in the league.<br /><br />8. <span style="font-style: italic;">Denver Nuggets</span><br />Chauncey Billups has transformed this team. Denver is playing defense better than they have in forever. Well, they were until they gave up over 105 in their last three games. If the MVP goes to the most<span style="font-style: italic;"> valuable</span> player and not the <span style="font-style: italic;">best</span> player, Billups deserves some consideration if the Nuggets continue like this.<br /><br />9. <span style="font-style: italic;">Atlanta Haw</span><span style="font-style: italic;">ks</span><br />The Hawks could contend with Portland as the team of the future. Horford, Johnson, Williams, and Smith are all 27 years old or younger and Bibby can bring it when he needs to. This team can be dangerous in the future, and maybe sooner.<br /><br />10. <span style="font-style: italic;">Portland Trail Blazers</span><br />The other trendy pick as team of the future is better than I thought they would be this year. Brandon Roy is going to the next level and becoming a star. He dropped 52 the other night and he does a little bit of everything. Aldridge is underrated, Outlaw is awesome off the bench, and Oden and Fernandez are getting better. Blake is playing well at the point, and Martell Webster is coming back from injury. The future looks very promising for the Blazers.<br /><br />11. <span style="font-style: italic;">Phoenix Suns</span><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCvpikZoLjxFGSCcWDuIgsVAL5aoAsaaUqCfBZJjVT0Ejn2x7zAU9OgXZoUUO9ek-UuGtth8XELtDDEPXski4QCNW7nbYakhIuSuLOgW2miTPvKWvH_BkCNAP5CQ82ZfvyoZZqGX873ITf/s1600-h/AMARE.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 133px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCvpikZoLjxFGSCcWDuIgsVAL5aoAsaaUqCfBZJjVT0Ejn2x7zAU9OgXZoUUO9ek-UuGtth8XELtDDEPXski4QCNW7nbYakhIuSuLOgW2miTPvKWvH_BkCNAP5CQ82ZfvyoZZqGX873ITf/s200/AMARE.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5283129190118898834" border="0" /></a>Amare’s pimp hand is way strong and Nash continues to put up good numbers. Shaq hasn’t been great this year but he hasn’t sucked either. The addition of Jason Richardson could be big for this team (he’s averaged 18 a game since the trade).<br /><br />12. <span style="font-style: italic;">Utah Jazz</span><br />The Jazz have been decimated by injuries but still have a decent record. If the Jazz can ever get and stay healthy they’ll move way up this list.<br /><br />13. <span style="font-style: italic;">Dallas Mavericks</span><br />The Mavs trading Devin Harris was a stupid move, as Devin’s 41 points against Dallas last week proved. Jason Terry is going for 21 per game off the bench and Dirk is playing well so far. Dallas is currently sitting in 9th place and would miss the playoffs if things stay put. I, for one, would love to see the Mavericks stay home.<br /><br />14. <span style="font-style: italic;">Miami Heat</span><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgg-ppvs0TAJX6jg_KpaX0Rp_-Bd1B5oFu6OLIjQOkh9PVvedj2FkrrIcsoUl9PNKtUWYOQVeBD3y0CGxscs42YoQdQqTfGALbDW12HtzZ7xDQdjAATPSV7FW9J4DBFao_7KcUym-mJJCS1/s1600-h/DWYANE+THE+PIMP.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 94px; height: 118px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgg-ppvs0TAJX6jg_KpaX0Rp_-Bd1B5oFu6OLIjQOkh9PVvedj2FkrrIcsoUl9PNKtUWYOQVeBD3y0CGxscs42YoQdQqTfGALbDW12HtzZ7xDQdjAATPSV7FW9J4DBFao_7KcUym-mJJCS1/s320/DWYANE+THE+PIMP.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5283128800458220482" border="0" /></a><br />Dwyane Wade has been a monster and he outplayed Kobe last week in their head-to-head matchup. Beasley has been good so far, but I expected more after what he did in college last year. The Heat have 14 wins right now, only one less than their total from last season.<br /><br />15. <span style="font-style: italic;">New Jersey Nets </span><br />Devin Harris is becoming a star. I found an impressive stat yesterday: Harris has gone for 30+ in 8 of 23 games this year. In the first four years of his career he had zero 30-point games. Also, Brook Lopez went for 22, 13 and 5 blocks against the Heat last week, the first Nets player to go for 20-10-5 since Derrick Coleman. Vince is playing like the champ I know he is and the Nets look good.Taylorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06548435800502392525noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8928452877199895706.post-25378975605264054672008-12-18T21:15:00.000-08:002008-12-19T09:44:41.567-08:00Five ThingsI've put a lot of thought into this week's post and struggled greatly with its content. I am a fairly opinionated person. I also like to talk (my father says I talk because I like to hear the sound of my own voice, and he's probably right). Because of my talkative nature and my never ending opinions I tend to push people to opposite ends of the "What I Think About Jim Scale". Some people like me and some people hate me, there aren't very many people in between. For the record, either way is fine with me. So with this in mind I forge ahead with a list of five things that I know, along with five things that I <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">think</span> I know. Some may delight, some may offend, but such is the plight of this well intended author. Dear reader, enjoy.<div><br /></div><div>1. I <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">know</span> I love sports and I <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">think</span> I know why. Because of my choice of sports franchises I have suffered much over the years. Listen to this, Peter Tom Willis, Will Furrer, Steve Stenstrom, Moses Moreno, and Henry Burris. Ever heard of any of these guys? Well neither have I, but apparently they are all quarterbacks who have started games for my beloved Chicago Bears within the last 15 years. Go figure. (By the way, the list of guys I <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">have</span> heard of isn't that much more impressive than these five douches). I've suffered through Eric Montross, Mark Blount, and Milt Palacios. </div><div> </div><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 158px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivGev87cOGdiQsdXsoyj2eOMk0AOo3M-ADfcMhjcPv0xDzPTEtXM9R-I1K19R3O17FvDr_mwVandDDIpQq4w7kZ_PdR7DZ_BkWwRFds28HIrcj_TpbBj0glEZJvRcIz_WIDqm9iSZmx9U/s200/nolan.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5281538276495854738" /><div>Somebody please save me from the likes of a washed up Bobby Bonilla, an overrated Victor Zambrano, and a trade that got the Mets Jim Fergosi and sent away Nolan freakin' Ryan. I should totally hate sports, but instead I know that I love them so much. Why? I think I know. Sports are unpredictable and for that reason we love them. For every heavily favored Yankee team that didn't make it to the World Series there is a 2008 Tampa Bay Rays team that overachieves and thrills us. On any given night virtually unknown NC State can beat the unbeatable Phi Slamma Jamma. I can still see Dikembe Mutombo clutching the ball to his chest as his #8 seeded Denver Nuggets beat the #1 seed Seattle Supersonics, the first time such a thing had ever happened, ever. I love sports because at the start of every season a true fan has new hope, a fool's hope most of the time, but hope nonetheless. I love sports because Ryan Gomes, Al Jefferson, Gerald Green , Theo Ratliff, Sebastian Telfair, two first round draft picks, and cash considerations can turn into Kevin Garnett and Celtic Pride can rise reborn like a Phoenix from the ashes.</div><div><br /></div><div>2. I <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">know</span> the Germans love David Hasselhoff and I <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">think</span> I know why. Check this out.</div><div><br /></div><div><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/PJQVlVHsFF8&hl=en&fs=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/PJQVlVHsFF8&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object> <br /><br /></div><div>I mean come on, wiener dogs, baby angels holding hands, and the Hoff flying over a speeding motorcycle. That shit's solid gold. Danke shoen, Deutschland! Danke Shoen.</div><div><br /></div><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 164px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBms8Ccm601BtfL7UE9NbnikSWzkV-5_Kyf9RhKdKPNTX_EUPGd_R4aX0MKcpF9ly0xSooLNOlbH6H-PLGVCRJxOG4b-COywe2WNPu6o5fYnQVl65w1ZG3CjiKpz9LQIFSu6eH3q4sLHw/s200/unitas.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5281539170607056306" /><div>3. I <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">know</span> if you argue with an old timer about who the greatest athlete is in any given sport he is not going to say LeBron James, Peyton Manning, or Alex Rodriguez. In his mind there is no way in hell Mike Tyson could have ever beaten Muhammad Ali, or Cassius Clay for that matter. Put away your Joe Montana posters and lock up any thoughts you might have of anointing Dan Marino the greatest quarterback ever because everyone can just line up behind Johnny Unitas and Broadway Joe Namath and it don't matter what order you put 'em in after that, period. Ted Williams would hit .500 in today's MLB and every game Bob Gibson pitched would be a no-hitter with the good-for-nothin' pansies teams run up to the plate now a days. They don't want to hear about Shaquille O'Neal. Shaq couldn't hold Bill Russell's jockstrap (oh wait, I agree with that one so if that makes me an old timer then pull my lower lip up to the bottom of my nose and hoist my pants up to my armpits because Russell is the beginning and end. Shuffleboard anyone?). I <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">think</span> I can explain this one too. These athletes got these people through some rough times. Sports were an escape from Wars, the Depression, and Presidential assassinations. The heroes of these games provided unadulterated happiness and celebration during times when such things were rare. Did they put these athletes up on a pedestal and ignore their shortcomings? Hell yes they did, and why not? Could most of the athletes of yesteryear compete with the monsters that roam the courts and fields today? Probably not. Are athletes getting bigger, faster, and stronger? Yes. But some of them would still be able to play in today's sports world. A great athlete then would be a great athlete now. Greatness, I think, transcends space and time.</div><div><br /></div><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 160px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhra0YWeeAJwronfOdxbMKxSM0frQmfzDW94TfaxwRRG0iCC-hHRIctayHu25DeMeUiZ8sJhddzQ7ejPL65ciwlcR9fYGlwUDTsQXBdYcYNtPb9MGqGhVpnSJCzGKw7OxPZZraWK4YvEFA/s200/def+leppard.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5281539623198427442" /><div>4. I <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">know</span> 80s music mostly sucks, but I love it anyway. I <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">think</span> people can't help but love the things they grew up with (unless you grew up with a mean drunk father who lifted you by the short hairs on the back of your neck and kicked you in the ass all the way down the street for all your friends to see. I can't speak from experience on this one as my father is a wonderful man and hero to me, but I'm sure if something like that happened to you when you were a kid it would have sucked pretty bad and definitely would have left you leaning toward NOT loving the things you grew up with, but I digress). I know the lyrics suck and the guitar solos are lame and the hair and make-up for the women and men could not have been worse, but if I hear me some Def Leppard I get so pumped I just want to skateboard, play one-armed air drums, or lift weights, or something. I know they only liked boys, but when I hear Erasure sing I can't help but think that together we <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">will</span> break these chains of love. I know it was bad, but it was my bad and I loved it. I love it still.</div><div><br /></div><div>5. I <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">know </span>I hate the Los Angeles Lakers with an undying hatred, and I <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">think</span> I know that I couldn't loath them anymore than I already do.</div><div><br /></div><div>So that's it. Five things that I know and five that I think I know. Feel free to let me know what you think of the things that I know and what you think of the things that I think that I know. Whoa! Also, let me know about the things you know and the things you think you know. Who knows, maybe some of the things that you know will be the same things that I know and maybe some of the things that you think you know will be the same things that I think I know. Possibly so. </div><br /><a name="9618863549"></a><br /><script type="text/javascript" src="http://widgets.ballhype.com/story/000/503/503045.js"></script><br /><noscript><a href="http://ballhype.com/story/five_sports/">BallHype - Five Sports</a></noscript><br /><script type="text/javascript">ballhype_story_widget_503045(false);</script>Jimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08711443970109424489noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8928452877199895706.post-85796379091326079822008-12-16T10:11:00.000-08:002008-12-16T10:40:55.687-08:00Who will win the NBA championship?I was reading a recent poll taken by Sports Illustrated that asked 189 NBA players who would win the NBA championship this season. The results:<br /><br />Lakers - 67%<br />Celtics - 20%<br />Cavaliers - 4%<br />Spurs - 2%<br /><br />So what does this mean? It seems like the players would know better than analysts who the best team in the league is. The Lakers, Celtics, and Cavs have a combined winning percentage of 87.5. These teams are all playing at a pretty ridiculous clip. The only meeting between these teams to this point in the season was a game one win by Boston over Cleveland. So, who will win the NBA title? Both Boyd and I picked the Celtics before the season started, and I think it's pretty clear that Jim wouldn't pick against the Celtics even if he were being tortured.<br /><br />I'm not only surprised that the Lakers won the poll, but the margin is pretty impressive. What do the players know that we don't? Defense led Boston to a championship last year and they've been equally impressive so far this season. Ray Allen is healthy and playing like a champ. The Lakers have been impressive thus far, but what has changed that leads people to conclude they will beat Boston this year? Are they better defensively? Does Bynum make up the difference from last year? Is Kobe playing even better this season than last? Do people think age will catch up to the Celtics (they aren't <span style="font-style: italic;">that</span> old)? With Rondo playing the way he is so far this season, I can't see why anyone would pick against the Celtics. Can someone give me some ideas? I'm not ruling it out completely, because Cleveland and Los Angeles are both very good teams, but why the Lakers at 67% of the vote? Seriously, what am I missing? Boyd? Jim? Rob? Anyone?Taylorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06548435800502392525noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8928452877199895706.post-28230499017580199922008-12-12T08:54:00.001-08:002008-12-12T08:56:00.824-08:00Santa and His ReindeerAgain, for the holidays, I thought it would be nice to create a list of athletes who would be best suited to help guide Santa's sleigh all around the world delivering presents to good girls and boys. This is just in case Santa and all of his reindeer die in an avalanche or a flood (global warming melting all the polar ice caps and all) and have to be replaced on Christmas Eve.<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"><br /></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">John Daily as Santa Claus</span><br /><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 136px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6TpZ_AaUeJOL0p4NB6F_JQtkt_wHzpRIuDIzj5Og8iB0cgibXFvkc7w2DxgRZSYZEXDlloxwCUjh1hEWoYqTnUot5zDgVw2sXxls2yNKHDlQnKb5zvje9819ZOqFBfSiOwtfEqbb0OoY/s200/john+daily.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5278366031464045650" />I know that this one was easy, but just look at the guy and you can see that he was the obvious choice. He has rosy cheeks just like Santa (hell his whole canned-ham face looks pretty rosy to me), if you could see his eyes in this picture I’m sure that there would be a twinkle in them (if they weren’t too bloodshot from binge drinking before his round of golf), and we can all definitely see that his belly will shake like a bowl full of jelly and it doesn’t matter if he’s laughing, swinging a golf club, coughing because of the lung cancer, or just walking around, that humongous boiler of his is gonna dance regardless of what he’s doing. Merry Christmas John Daily and congratulations, you are the professional athlete that most looks like Santa. Keep it up and someday you could be pulling minimum wage at some mall letting kiddies piss in your lap and tell you what they want for Christmas. Of course you’ll have to live long enough for that to happen so you’ll need two lung transplants and a new liver, but here’s hoping. Better spike the eggnog mom and dad or this Santa is coming up to your bedroom more than a little agitated and probably a lot sweaty.<div><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">Maurice Greene as Dasher</span></div><div><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 130px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_ox7QIVYmoheis86WzxAP0vf7pHdpbFJn-QWwOjGF9OgvehT26R6kdo-2VlSxTYdcdTCcybT2CS6XIlfvvOm7zIeKzIlUEAVzD60YStnkIKSPUQdlLM3KFn2q-6I-2T2UVOEjAYAHlYc/s200/maurice+greene.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5278368593775654434" /><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; ">Come on dude. You were a world-class sprinter and once, after winning the 100-meter dash, held the prestigious title of “World’s Fastest Man” (of course you were probably on the juice when you did that, but who isn’t on the juice in track and field). Now just look at you dashing around the dance floor in a skin tight red costume with the sleeves torn off, rocking a disappointing giant black afro wig, and getting criticized for slow footwork by a hundred year old British douche. FYI Maurice, when I ripped this image of you off the Internet it was attached to an article entitled, and I kid you not, “Am I with a gay husband?” And that is the question that everybody wants answered, Maurice. Am I? Am I with a gay husband? I think the answer is clear. Pictures tell no lies, Maurice. At least he might add some speed to Santa’s sleigh and heaven knows the Jolly Old Elf needs speed to cover the distances he needs to in a single night.</span></span></div><div><div><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">Jerry Rice as Dancer</span><br /><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 160px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiyvrPwSFyCN-EfVXEoiDvIHciXmLb7_al76g1GYSwBWzLO633Qsg5zwoZEdjsBduG9Cs8ioTD9SarSmyFonzHzr_KPFntkcl963UJcQs7mOr5vYVV99-KfHWbKLskMnTl2kLPGuTXEzPM/s200/jerry-rice.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5278366538959798866" />Sticking with the Dancing with the Stars theme, I can only look at this picture of Jerry Rice and weep. Jerry Rice is the greatest receiver to ever play the game of football. There once was a time when you could walk down the street and ask any woman you met who Jerry Rice was and she would answer, “I don’t know.” This was for the best. Now if you were to do the same thing they would say, “oh, he’s that guy from Dancing with the Stars. I love him.” Damn you Jerry Rice. For all of your heroic acts on the football field you deserves to go relatively unnoticed by the female population. Your many catches, yardage, and touchdowns have earned you that right and with one little dancing show appearance you pissed it all away. It’s okay Jerry. I’ll still throw the ball to you every single time on Tecmo Super Bowl regardless of how many defenders are covering you and even if you are listed as being in BAD condition, I just won't ask your advice on if I should ruin my Hall of Fame Career by doing and ill-advised crappy reality show, that's all.<br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">Warren Sapp as Prancer</span><br /><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 149px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqnp6bX4nP2Ku_jeBhdZKe4i-h78mdmgZfjUVbBuLRJZQyUdNNjB444mGDnKRSeitIwmbBxz4C-xP47YDSgxCb55N1ZARXzIAYYgJxaPh2fbp4ls8I7KWpUHi8EGi9yPVysa-1_TZd78s/s200/sapp_warren_dancing.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5278366722331358290" />I promise this is my last Dancing with the Stars reference, but it is necessary because Warren has the body weight and strength necessary to pull Santa’s sleigh and because of his recent and unfortunate choice to participate in the afore mentioned dancing show his new nickname, “Prancer”, fits right in. As you can see, even in his playing days Warren had an affinity for dance, but that still does not excuse him from mockery and ridicule for his choice to become a fancy pants on a nationally televised dance show. He went from putting terror into the hearts of NFL running backs by utilizing a tremendous bull-rush to plug the gaps, to having HIS heart full of terror that someone on the dance show might plug his gap with a tremendous bum-rush. Why Warren? Why?<br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">Danica Patrick as Vixen</span><br /><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 132px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBlt3YiBCQys3TehCdEElu6CDovnqoK9bAEZ1u47UGM-L2MEfrl4_2a1GYUrYW28AkrvtY4ryOAtO2JQFKrifb8KJ82ZPPJq3QCXr-yjzl7NKbAAa4Y2mde_x8rLe4jtXmSKTzfCVLygk/s200/danica+1.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5278368230701654130" />As you can see by the picture, this too was an easy choice. Danica is certainly capable of filling the role of Santa’s Vixen. Mrs. Claus, whom I imagine to be a dumpy old broad that kind of looks like Mrs. Doubtfire, would have a lot to think about while she sits at home and knits while Santa flies all over the globe with a superfox like Danica. Plus with her ability to drive Indy cars you know she can really handle a stick, and she could even be the one to steer the sleigh, as she would be able to go anywhere Santa told her to go (unlike NASCAR drivers that would only be able to go in an endless left handed oval, leaving out all of those children to the right hand side of the sleigh, be they naughty or nice).<br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">Comet</span><br />I got nothin’ for this one. I would have to lower my standards and write about the WNBA’s Houston Comets and that is a depth to which I am not willing to sink. The only time I’ll mention those nags is if I’m talking about blowing wide open lay-ups or how most dudes think that their Rec team could easily beat a squad of these bull-dykes, which is sadly probably true.<br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">David Beckham as Cupid</span><br /><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 148px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiV_-Jkv22Erv6LkbuguEVBVhCuV-Q7YYWVSnCEjdjCgebdri2Bv8wZ2UGOMhtf3PDyiAUqb5h6Z4AMIgoPmQAVEro9plJpu7AOOtMLcCxPNyAyHwaRJ4LZ5DI0ovIJbI1BMlLlrvTWSrQ/s200/david+becham.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5278368744773030930" />How could this guy not be Cupid? I think that the only reason Becks is successful is because he is a complete dreamboat. The defenders that are supposed to be checking him accidentally get caught looking longingly into his piercing eyes, or maybe at the sock stuffed down his trousers, and that’s when he takes off, receives the pass, and bends it into an uncontested goal. His job as part of the sleigh team would be to boost moral (for men and women alike) simply by striking a stunning pose in his undies with his sack bulging out. Oh, and his abs.<br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">Donder</span><br />What the hell is a Donder? Does anybody know? I apologize to the three dudes named Donder that live in Poland and religiously frequent this blog, but I have to say that Donder is one stupid name for a reindeer or a person.<br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">Joey Porter as Blitzen</span><br /><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 133px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGBGCX8Q8RByk4ZAqaMT4vT1_LODjQWJHJx3jwtilJL66cz6x9GlELuuFGgr0XXdYove60NYOQftZmvY6IVvHx1HqVjVLULe3HGRrp7VE_0Nq9p7gUIbf7bq6Ccb6Bbk_Tw5AmS8wr80Q/s200/joey+porter.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5278369269370870130" />Porter leads the league in sacks with 16.5 to this point in the season. This is not an easy thing to do as a linebacker. He is rightfully dubbed Blitzen in this post because that is exactly what he has been doing for the Dolphins this year. Brandon Marshall of the Denver Broncos may think he is soft, and he might be out of line defending the actions of former teammate Plaxico Burress (by the way, anyone stupid enough to shoot themselves should not have anyone in their corner when it comes to defending what happened), but Porter is a energized maniac and just what this sleigh team needs to get the job done. Plus he could supply everyone with NFL approved diet pills to keep them all trim, HGH, and probably some high quality blow, which is a bonus.<br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">Steve Nash as Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer</span><br /><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 158px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhacU77eqcA8moVAgu35P1gb-DeUDHLeN1Mx6vXm56XhK3EBUQRXF7DOUrjCfKYl0iWImAd1qAVbXEFezqbXVDRJi2ytUiLuIZKKrQTXuSRSQCds0nO4RzFqGWSpbypSnJ6vOVgMvfLbqI/s200/nash.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5278369634744657394" />I don't even know what to say about this. I guess, <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">"you'll go down in HIS-TOOOO-RY (like Columbus)!"</span><br /><br /></div></div></div></div>Jimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08711443970109424489noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8928452877199895706.post-39765019885309689462008-12-11T09:36:00.000-08:002008-12-11T10:09:26.825-08:00What I Would Give If I Were Santa ClausTis the season, right? I was thinking about what I would want for Christmas and started feeling bad, because it’s about the giving. I then moved to what I would get my wife and children if I could afford it. Athletes can afford anything, but it sounds like they just get cars and a Jesus piece instead of what they really need. If I were Santa Claus and could give athletes what they need/deserve instead of what they can afford, things would be different. I made a list of gifts I would give as Santa Claus. It would start with Boyd and Jim getting coal for being perverts and then move on to athletes.<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">LeBron James</span>: an improved outside shot.<br />Can you imagine how ridiculous he would be if he were a better shooter? My goodness.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Stephon Marbury</span>: a coach that doesn’t hate him.<br />Remember when Steph was the man? He had the chance to stay with the Wolves and KG and form what looked like a duo that could do some things in the future. Steph could also use improved judgement.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQb4o1TISHsUeB-gPCHMcvOnFFJCgM81veibwpgkqXLwEBhjTX8hSMaQPfEOzIZCZtKwEv6ebnJuR4TXonvHWtLywyjTmUuWhWbk_tWU6UNZ4a3hfO-I3LjJZXk_mNjzc6apvpie36J70y/s1600-h/STEPh.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 89px; height: 124px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQb4o1TISHsUeB-gPCHMcvOnFFJCgM81veibwpgkqXLwEBhjTX8hSMaQPfEOzIZCZtKwEv6ebnJuR4TXonvHWtLywyjTmUuWhWbk_tWU6UNZ4a3hfO-I3LjJZXk_mNjzc6apvpie36J70y/s200/STEPh.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5278594009925585426" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Ricky Williams</span>: weed.<br />I only want him to be happy.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Pacman Jones</span>: his very own scrip club.<br />That’s how he pronounces it–scrip club. Classic. If he had his own, who would he try to kill when he frequents the establishment? I just want him to be safe.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">OJ Simpson</span>: a lethal injection.<br />The juice is seriously overdue.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVMbKEAorF5Tl-KB10tJAK2jEKGqfKPMJfaAZ4ISB4s2q5La-Am1-x6UcKcJyPNNwpGNcilq-4z-XL-uLTjDKoK-Z6FzyrP-TTT9Pns32SYs8G_fFbXi-cDZQWBVvYK5VryEaQb6oxZxJO/s1600-h/OJ.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 142px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVMbKEAorF5Tl-KB10tJAK2jEKGqfKPMJfaAZ4ISB4s2q5La-Am1-x6UcKcJyPNNwpGNcilq-4z-XL-uLTjDKoK-Z6FzyrP-TTT9Pns32SYs8G_fFbXi-cDZQWBVvYK5VryEaQb6oxZxJO/s200/OJ.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5278593844465089794" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Aaron Rog</span><span style="font-style: italic;">ers</span>: the ability to break all of Brett Farve’s records.<br />This one is completely out of spite. I’m fully on the Aaron Rogers bandwagon.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Vince Young</span>: Prozac.<br />In honor of <a href="http://thoughtsfromthejockstrap.blogspot.com/2008/09/dont-go-killing-yourself-vince-young.html">Boyd</a>. He likes Vince better alive.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Michael Vick</span>: better lawyers and a starting spot on <a href="http://thoughtsfromthejockstrap.blogspot.com/2008/10/letter-to-vick-intercepted.html">Hell's football team</a>.<br />When it comes to NFL players getting lawyers, Vick screwed up. How did OJ shred two people with a knife and get no jail time, but Mike gets two years for killing a dog? Vick’s lawyers suck, that’s how. I'm not saying Vick doesn't deserve it - he does. But if the Juice got off for killing two people...<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2gPI6kFewSa-FpAdYKzWDgP4mW7m2YoWEybbOo7vjF7j0KCwkH_960PGg51B0x-CSWA6fEWhM5UNLfHNfbmGE5dyWIj5VogN1e3VBtst2vG8NpBMALGfhdIzcMnAlVD6RUSCZMEPE_cJJ/s1600-h/VICK.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 170px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2gPI6kFewSa-FpAdYKzWDgP4mW7m2YoWEybbOo7vjF7j0KCwkH_960PGg51B0x-CSWA6fEWhM5UNLfHNfbmGE5dyWIj5VogN1e3VBtst2vG8NpBMALGfhdIzcMnAlVD6RUSCZMEPE_cJJ/s200/VICK.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5278593613647333090" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Reggie Bush</span>: absolutely nothing.<br />This guy is dating Kim Kardashian and he’s totally hot (I say this with an unblemished track record of he<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxAY6cGpDBKQ6p1MvuzNB5XV_bOcb44EIlpn-vp69je8Chw_3hcB-R6jiywnG-C9aUZ0aLqcPDuUcizYIwkSJfGmsfJ5AKgXzXk8ajtm9BmPqmzwHw8ynvPjTNPWDlebjb3uKXd8Xb9xqJ/s1600-h/BUSH+KARD.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 112px; height: 130px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxAY6cGpDBKQ6p1MvuzNB5XV_bOcb44EIlpn-vp69je8Chw_3hcB-R6jiywnG-C9aUZ0aLqcPDuUcizYIwkSJfGmsfJ5AKgXzXk8ajtm9BmPqmzwHw8ynvPjTNPWDlebjb3uKXd8Xb9xqJ/s320/BUSH+KARD.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5278593363991485122" border="0" /></a>terosexuality). He doesn’t need anything else.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">New Y</span><span style="font-style: italic;">ork Yankees</span>: more big money players.<br />The Yankees need more players that make a ton of money. Of course, this is conditional on them not winning a World Series with said players.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">New York Mets</span>: continuing meltdowns out of the bullpen.<br />This gift is purely for entertainment value. Especially after spending a ton of $ on relievers, continued failure would just be hilarious. Plus, it gives Jim the opportunity to come up with great nicknames.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Tim Duncan</span>: some semblance of a personality/charisma.<br />I love Tim. He’s probably the best power forward to ever play the game. But he’s boring as hell.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1GiSXRNZzz7vl4MUKUw4DNi-TqSVeRCjtK9RIl2NTYUlHNyU6XAZKALcN1It1XpeXNRiU-EFe-7siQSYj7U2DrAaS0AXax6Tol10NXJ5Iv_kWTlCknSj39FONYiuW5hZ7pp4QvLgpRV4x/s1600-h/Duncan.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 111px; height: 105px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1GiSXRNZzz7vl4MUKUw4DNi-TqSVeRCjtK9RIl2NTYUlHNyU6XAZKALcN1It1XpeXNRiU-EFe-7siQSYj7U2DrAaS0AXax6Tol10NXJ5Iv_kWTlCknSj39FONYiuW5hZ7pp4QvLgpRV4x/s200/Duncan.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5278593176901511202" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Josh Howard</span>: chronic.<br />See: Ricky Williams.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Soccer</span>: to suck less.<br />This is self-explanatory.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Urban Meyer</span>: some Oklahoma Sooners toilet bowl fresheners.<br />We all know that Urban likes to symbolically pee on his opponents...<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXsu1fXe9FcdDey_aUH7FjlgqqbJR8M1_PSpyByABaK7lM02JcHbpCLY4p2jmkVml4Mzos6bEWFoCJsvuriBuuvd4csIktQ9LWSAnznuTdmTUdTqepK9a6O9DqCKNbFlr317U6UUPwPbhn/s1600-h/URBAN+TOILET.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 120px; height: 90px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXsu1fXe9FcdDey_aUH7FjlgqqbJR8M1_PSpyByABaK7lM02JcHbpCLY4p2jmkVml4Mzos6bEWFoCJsvuriBuuvd4csIktQ9LWSAnznuTdmTUdTqepK9a6O9DqCKNbFlr317U6UUPwPbhn/s200/URBAN+TOILET.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5278592994394323250" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">BYU football fans</span>: Rocky Long as defensive coordinator.<br />And less desire to wear socks with sandals.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Mike Leach</span>: a bigger stage.<br />Lubbock is holding this guy down. He is truly amazing. Look it up.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Ocho Cinco</span>: a touchdown.<br />My man Chad has only scored 4 TDs this season and that means we have been denied the opportunity to see creative celebrations. I miss the gold mohawk version of Chad.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Darko Milicic</span>: anger management/coping skills.<br />The Human Victory Cigar. Here is <a href="http://www.nba.com/grizzlies/video/2008/12/09/vid-081209-darko_rips_jersey-16x9.mov.grizzlies/index.html?player=team&q=MEM">why</a> this gift is necessary. My sister thinks Darko rules.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Charles Barkley</span>: whatever he wants.<br />I love Chuck.<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAUTKB-4Cx4gMeEfoNT39v2utQFJWfEx1xJqyX6aCsuOw435wojJdmgOGMEM5lclF9syBycVc9zNxayHzxciyDHeaOL5QpTkzrz7_1SmeyvDbx6jGwtHMmHQ6Z3dSPKFGbSFG6fv8axkfx/s1600-h/BARKLEY.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 103px; height: 137px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAUTKB-4Cx4gMeEfoNT39v2utQFJWfEx1xJqyX6aCsuOw435wojJdmgOGMEM5lclF9syBycVc9zNxayHzxciyDHeaOL5QpTkzrz7_1SmeyvDbx6jGwtHMmHQ6Z3dSPKFGbSFG6fv8axkfx/s320/BARKLEY.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5278592742787973730" border="0" /></a> He can have anything.<br /><span style="font-style: italic;"><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Stephen A. Smith</span>: a muzzle.<br />Will someone please shut this guy up? It pains me to say it, but I actually liked him at first.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Brett Farve</span>: a crippling disease, a severe injury, common sense, decreased love for the spotlight, etc.<br />He can selec<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcgYBeblPyeoswc86CmfA1uT2vj0izBiQm8QaQy6VUPCcN65zjAMvXEH__q28TteTaZSLy7s-o56tEne5XtnN0nP8yujAMay9LS5oyjPv1q_vGrlDlqsYkVmklqbPtz7e-LsGvV-BsvtMX/s1600-h/FARVE.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 98px; height: 112px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcgYBeblPyeoswc86CmfA1uT2vj0izBiQm8QaQy6VUPCcN65zjAMvXEH__q28TteTaZSLy7s-o56tEne5XtnN0nP8yujAMay9LS5oyjPv1q_vGrlDlqsYkVmklqbPtz7e-LsGvV-BsvtMX/s320/FARVE.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5278592540846350994" border="0" /></a>t any of the above as long as it means he’ll go away.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;"><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Travis Henry</span>: decreased genital blood flow.<br />Travis has nine children from nine different women. I don’t know if he’s just not picky or has an insane libido, but something has got to change.<br /><br /><br />Now, this part is important. Please add to this list! What would you get a certain athlete? I know from the numbers that a lot of people read these posts. Add a comment - there are many more gifts that are needed.Taylorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06548435800502392525noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8928452877199895706.post-90428812345215167222008-12-08T16:04:00.000-08:002008-12-08T23:17:01.085-08:00The Most Asinine Injuries In Sports<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7Sh1xTx7xf6pxqqUMcWZwUQJxiCgr-ZfhzC-p_tfrlOZvY4Lj_i1zbR8trWNeWabPCKJWq-HLv0yF-0k9Z4rOUWlQkgIBFMlpjbq8A11TSl71ETxQJwKFOlJWHnXczbuomkCUmbibrGsd/s1600-h/INJURY.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7Sh1xTx7xf6pxqqUMcWZwUQJxiCgr-ZfhzC-p_tfrlOZvY4Lj_i1zbR8trWNeWabPCKJWq-HLv0yF-0k9Z4rOUWlQkgIBFMlpjbq8A11TSl71ETxQJwKFOlJWHnXczbuomkCUmbibrGsd/s320/INJURY.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5277593249259804434" border="0" /></a>In the last few months there have been some interesting off the field injuries in sports. Derrick Rose just cut himself by laying down on a knife that he had just used to slice an apple. Plaxico Burress shot himself (Plaxico is an amazing name by the way. I’m assuming he was born with fetal drug addiction, for obvious reasons). Monta Ellis injured himself while riding a moped. I remember a few years back when Jeff Kent told the Giants he broke his wrist when he fell out of his truck while washing it. Come to find out he likely broke it while riding a motorcycle. Roethlisburger anyone? The point is, there have been some tremendously asinine injuries in sports, on and off the field/court. Here are some of the best, in the form of a top ten list. There are many good ones that will not make the cut, so please feel free to comment on what I missed…<br /><br />10. <span style="font-style: italic;">Adam Eaton</span><br />Eaton was so excited to watch his new DVD that he got out his trusty paring knife and began to cut open the packaging. He also began to cut open his stomach. While he was slicing the security tape he slipped and gouged himself in the stomach. He ended up in the ER for stitches. As a side note, thousands of people end up in the emergency room each year from hand injuries sustained while cutting bagels. We attempt to educate here at the Strap. Enjoy that one.<br /><br />9. <span style="font-style: italic;">Alex Stepney</span><br />I had to look this one up, but it was worth it. Stepney, a goalie for Manchester United, was screaming at his defensemen to play harder. Stepney yelled so hard that he dislocated what is apparently a glass jaw.<br /><br />8. <span style="font-style: italic;">Glenallen Hill</span><br />This one sounds made up, but it's true. I did the research. Glenallen suffers from arachnophobia. One night he fell asleep and had a dream about giant spiders. Startled, he jumped up out of bed and took off, hitting and breaking a glass table, and then falling down the stairs. He apparently had shards of glass stuck in him everywhere and was placed on the 15-day DL. In the spirit of full disclosure, I once had a similar experience while playing hoops in the front yard of my parent’s house. A loose ball was headed for the garage and I dove to save it. I happened to land on the back window of a car; it shattered and I ended up sitting in glass while everyone cracked up laughing. FYI, the shower I later took was extremely painful.<br /><br />7. <span style="font-style: italic;">Jaromir Jagr</span><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdnnhLGoWDIxrHI1R-qdqlAFIRC087AweJOJ6Tba5N0XMHuK-leiwcm2RmGxEu_U7Hb36ffDuR5psqzqOk8A9CUKxjHXvV0mCvIWcaOkwt3FvaxMNgLhtCSnKMPc-FYGrVHTP3Fu4_SXiK/s1600-h/JAGR.htm"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 84px; height: 123px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdnnhLGoWDIxrHI1R-qdqlAFIRC087AweJOJ6Tba5N0XMHuK-leiwcm2RmGxEu_U7Hb36ffDuR5psqzqOk8A9CUKxjHXvV0mCvIWcaOkwt3FvaxMNgLhtCSnKMPc-FYGrVHTP3Fu4_SXiK/s320/JAGR.htm" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5277591845813449266" border="0" /></a><br />I’m not much of a hockey guy, but I know that Jagr was good. He also had a stellar mullet that has been discussed in past <a href="http://thoughtsfromthejockstrap.blogspot.com/2008/10/greatest-hair-in-sports.html">posts</a>. Well, apparently Jagr was a tough guy too. Toward the end of a playoff loss Jagr was getting pretty fired up and he decided he was going to punch one of the New Jersey Devils. Jagr threw a big roundhouse left and got nothing but air. The miss also dislocated his shoulder. If this happened more frequently I would probably have more interest in hockey.<br /><br />6. <span style="font-style: italic;">Marty Cordova</span><br />First off, any man who goes tanning is a wuss. Period. Men don’t lay out and they don’t hit the tanning bed to lay under the sun lamp. Well, apparently Marty Cordova deserves to have his genitals revoked. He once fell asleep in a tanning bed and burned so badly that he was ordered by doctors to stay out of the sun. Pretty soon he’ll be complaining to his teammates when they leave the toilet seat up.<br /><br />5. <span style="font-style: italic;">George Brett</span><br />This isn’t really an injury, but I had to add this for obvious reasons. During the 1980 World Series, George Brett was battling more than just the Philadelphia Phillies. He was also up against a severe bout of hemorrhoids. Brett later commented the he would be remembered more for having 'roids during the World Series if it weren't for his exploding and attempting to murder an umpire over having pine tar on his bat.<br /><br />4. <span style="font-style: italic;">Kevin Johnson</span><br />KJ will go down in history (for me) as having one of the best <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ifx_gRF-ouU"><span style="color:red;">dunks</span></a> of all-time. KJ has battled accusations of fondling 16-year-old girls to become the current mayor of Sacramento. As a reward for hitting a game-winning shot for the Suns, Johnson was given a big bear hug by the best analyst in sports, Charles Barkley. Chuck is a big son of a b, and he squeezed Johnson so hard that he dislocated his shoulder. As is true with Boyd, let there be no question about the awesomeness of Charles Barkley. Sometimes I wish he’d give Kenny Smith a bear hug…<br /><br />3. <span style="font-style: italic;">Lionel Simmons</span><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjiVCcAOAfSk4Mmesws76kACp6Pj-N-0P6uoKWDks9DCpbk-aG8f77VnGc4JzShaJ8M4K1qxJ9kiLOfp4EP5obraizAGKLygDAOpW01ttXXSzXFTD5IicySnDOjRL9z9iPycnqAxDA_vaF9/s1600-h/LIONEL+SIMMONS.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 120px; height: 191px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjiVCcAOAfSk4Mmesws76kACp6Pj-N-0P6uoKWDks9DCpbk-aG8f77VnGc4JzShaJ8M4K1qxJ9kiLOfp4EP5obraizAGKLygDAOpW01ttXXSzXFTD5IicySnDOjRL9z9iPycnqAxDA_vaF9/s320/LIONEL+SIMMONS.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5277591437383856546" border="0" /></a>Lionel Simmons was a great college basketball player. I actually remember watching him play for LaSalle back when everyone wore a flat-top fade, big Karl Malone wrist bands, and Crocodile Hunter shorts. He could light it up. Simmons was just beginning to come into his own in the NBA when he had to sit out two games with wrist tendinitis. He sustained this injury from his rigorous playing of a Gameboy. Gameboys sucked, even back in the day. I can’t believe he admitted this injury—at least make up something better. Even Ray Barone claimed that his severe wrist injury occurred because he and his wife were getting frisky and they fell out of bed. Instead, Simmons admits to his being from playing Gameboy…<br /><br />2.<span style="font-style: italic;"> Bill Gramatica</span><br />It is really hard for me to not put this at #1. I absolutely cannot find video of this thing <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIt8D8cRJ7Gt36uD48ZfdMUZoKu4ruT_vjXhatrBZLme3J8Q9SZJP3QpDGMPiDcM8RUj8JI4WdWs2r13c7Cj918Vu32KLJHP4K3ilH96LrmKwF2LoVqdnZ7FWn3RqvcOfAr3yXfGLyF11D/s1600-h/GRAMATICA.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 124px; height: 85px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIt8D8cRJ7Gt36uD48ZfdMUZoKu4ruT_vjXhatrBZLme3J8Q9SZJP3QpDGMPiDcM8RUj8JI4WdWs2r13c7Cj918Vu32KLJHP4K3ilH96LrmKwF2LoVqdnZ7FWn3RqvcOfAr3yXfGLyF11D/s320/GRAMATICA.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5277591239844296146" border="0" /></a>anywhere on the net. If you know where to find this, please let me know. It is essential. Anyhow, Gramatica kicked a field goal in the first quarter of a regular season game to put his team up 3-0. He decided to act like he just pulled a Vinatieri and won the Super Bowl or something—he starts pumping his fist and jumps in the air to celebrate… and promptly tore his ACL. Even with all his injuries, Greg Oden thinks that’s funny.<br /><br />1. <span style="font-style: italic;">Gus Frerotte</span><br />Frerotte was taken off the field Sunday against the Lions <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBk_Y8rrnvv6UwBn_2lihEFvX_KBOG4GWBa0twfIr9TyD8k8k70Mm6UqHG_nYV3KNAE4pDLCfeD5R_OrIasXefGfbfnmwIzfrmJZU9uI2yftCxefJQYLoEsxJ_RM-AupEwAZkd6BYeFjAg/s1600-h/Frerotte.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 250px; height: 224px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBk_Y8rrnvv6UwBn_2lihEFvX_KBOG4GWBa0twfIr9TyD8k8k70Mm6UqHG_nYV3KNAE4pDLCfeD5R_OrIasXefGfbfnmwIzfrmJZU9uI2yftCxefJQYLoEsxJ_RM-AupEwAZkd6BYeFjAg/s320/Frerotte.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5277590925442718866" border="0" /></a>for an injury, but at least he didn’t do it to himself. Back when he played (occasionally) for the Redskins, Gus ran one yard for the go-ahead touchdown and celebrated by spiking the football and slamming his head into a padded wall. While his celebration was not as creative as what TO, Ocho Cinco, or Steve Smith have come up with, the ramifications were tremendous. The wall was concrete with a thin padded covering. Gus immediately got dizzy and was taken to the hospital for treatment. Frerotte had to miss the second half and overtime. He ended up with a sprained neck for his efforts. To add insult to injury, Gus broke his hip in the following game.<br /><br /><br /><br />So there you have it – feel free to add to the list or let me know what I did wrong. One of my friends just pointed out that I should have had Nancy Kerrigan on this list, but I don’t feel like adding any more. He’s right though, she belongs.Taylorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06548435800502392525noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8928452877199895706.post-4357372854405234262008-12-05T09:18:00.000-08:002008-12-05T10:57:51.770-08:00Sportsman's Twelve Days of ChristmasIt would seem that the holidays are upon us once more. By holidays I of course refer to the celebration of the birth of the sweet baby Jesus (sorry Jews). Christmas is a time to reflect, a season of giving, peace, and love. It is also a season filled with cheesy songs with syrupy lyrics that often times make me throw-up a little in my mouth. Unfortunately, my children love to listen to Christmas songs “from summer ‘til Santa comes down the chimney” (thank you Dr. Dre for that little tidbit). Because of my girl’s affinity for everything yuletide I got to thinking about my least favorite Christmas song of all time “The Twelve Days of Christmas.” I hate this song both because of its length and its gayness.<div><br />Though I will not attempt to completely rewrite the lyrics to this song, I will give a sports related rearranging of the twelve things my true love could send to me in order to make my holidays bright.<div><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 161px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhuCB8WarXmqooTrM5LgS2Z_rWXak1NP7FUSi75w1TOYyDrA3FcjyJF8VNaUWd134rXblvN5FthKsU_I1fxCk_zbMBREivQVNHPWdfPgWReFpjQxDFJI4nLnbDbfPPaJjf-QS4q_39NP8M/s200/larry.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5276365209001869314" />On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me Larry Bird in a pear tree...</span>Because who really wants a partridge anyway? I mean David Cassidy was a douche and Danny Bonaduce is a train wreck. Now when I say I want a Larry Bird in a pear tree this would have to be Larry Bird in his prime, like the ‘85-’87 Larry, because what good would a 2008 Larry do me? He’s like 60 years old. Hell if I had to choose between the 2008 version of Larry Bird and any other avian named ballplayer I’m afraid I would have to take Brian Cardinal in a pear tree, or Sue Bird for that matter. But of all the birds I could choose for my pear tree Larry Bird would be the bird I love the most.<br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"><br /></span><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 141px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAyzg7c52jhSYPt-kmhSqaztIxnBnAvIAi64_cUeQURHEGRHg1oOaPJVC1oY8J57VrVnQQgEdnNW2IjI0vY1POEKxpTtIcpkhWBGbg2kOF2xvl_cYvp21TFHtwRdNX_4FgnqBR2-LAfyA/s200/johan.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5276365590132937954" /><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">O<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">n the second day of Christmas my true love gave to me two Johan Santanas…</span>Turtledoves? Really? Does anyone want turtledoves anymore? Now if my beloved New York Mets couldn’t at least win the division with two Johan Santanas then to hell with the whole bunch of them. I’m tired of hearing about the rumors. Will they sign K-Rod? Will they get Brian Fuentes? Can Doc Gooden stay off the blow long enough to pitch 200 innings? Enough already, and I actually love the Mets. This whole New York saga must be mind numbingly brutal for those of you who hate the Mets but still have to hear about them in the media. Omar Minaya just needs to clone Santana and let the good times roll.</span></span></div><div><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"><br /></span></div><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 133px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh93VoMFp02jj6ZhhyphenhyphenRsAjqVoKO7nk2P5OEL1FtgDQLL7IoCwnH0UI5HqcdiIRMhUPQe7KEmADnDxwXhMeGdAVo5RD0R7WlhVs1sI3x962cBcSPUO3hvhwhfxOrzlDN6aZ2Ve1VKFF44T8/s200/Canadian.Flag.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5276365899334412866" /><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">On the third day of Christmas my true love gave to me three French Canadian Hockey players…</span>I can’t think of a single instrument that I would want less than one French horn let alone three of them. I’m sorry if that offends all one people in the world who play the French horn, but three of them is about two and a half too many. There are so many Canadians to choose from that I can hardly narrow it down to just three, but I wanted to stick with the whole “French” thing so here goes. I’ll take Wayne Gretzky, Gordie Howe, and Mario Lemieux. And if hockey is not your thing I can’t blame you because it’s not mine either. In that case I’ll take three Ned Hanlans, French Canadian Champion Rower, played by Nicholas Cage in “The Boy In Blue.” That’s right, I’ve never even heard of that movie or that guy, but boy that Ned Hanlan sure could row.<br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 150px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9pwO7F4d041XdEN-HQZATEZ4aT-3M-ZF94DKchwrs0xi6HN1T6qff081weh4byIryEYGkuDuWCgaohup0F3YWDvWQ7Ih9FD7nJRLLLMSuHDyTojqXP6FhxASHaVSJKh8NJO5P1Sdo1eg/s200/duck+call.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5276366234507856994" />On the forth day of Christmas my true love gave to me four guys who imitate birdcalls on really late night ESPN…</span>Instead of calling birds I went with bird callers. Genius, and if you’ve ever watched those guys do their birdcalls it’s funny as shit too. I don’t think you can TiVo it and watch it in the middle of the day if you really want to get the most laughs out of it. In order for you to laugh until tears stream down your face you really need to watch these hayseeds do a goose mating call at three o’clock in the morning when the insomnia has really taken root and you would prefer death to being awake. That’s when the bird callers are solid gold.<br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 154px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNgrhfLfIPYpCj1LEQBCfRbFpnR6rrA6yq69AlfWqFlmcG8ArZC2ZoQt8S0oCfc9JQLgq3oi0_y6Wqzms3yX6uNRuUoJdxGij1Wgn7f1wY7oQ5IEA7N4GXwRzwgi5RXrbd3W_ivCobP08/s200/sweet+17.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5276366519652641426" />On the fifth day of Christmas my true love gave to me five NBA Championship Rings…</span>Now this would be really nice for most of the franchises in the NBA (like you Utah Jazz) but for me five Championship Rings would be about twelve too few. What I would really love is if this current group of Celtics could scratch out four more rings to go with their one they won last year. I know that’s a lot to ask for because some of those guys are getting older and it is unheard of in today’s NBA for a franchise to run off even three Championships in a row, but a guy can dream can’t I, especially on Christmas? I guess I might have to be happy with the second ring they are going to win this year and then the one they are probably going to win the year after that and then we’ll just have to see. KG, the Truth, and Sugar Ray deserve as many as they can get and in my song it’s <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">“Fiiiiiiiive NBA Championship Rings!” </span> Sung very angelically, so deal with it.<br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 164px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrB97ykKNoir5uDFTlQABz5RvBV72j8g8Y6_2ZjGw-xcmFRegCQaWiMUo-r4n9hvkKsvjBjp7YLWGqXK8kgiYLAijj76NrDiKB4XEOSF57BV5ZD84cvbkPF-SSOMAw6lDySg51zc7mr94/s200/si+model.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5276366832378683730" />On the sixth day of Christmas my true love gave to me six Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition models a-laying around my house…</span>I mean come on, if you’re going to have anything a-laying around do you really want it to be geese? Have you ever been to a park where they let geese a-lay around some pond so that kids can feed them some scraps of bread? Well I have and let me tell you the acres of goose poop that you have to walk through to get to the semi-aggressive geese, that will FYI try and take your kid’s hand off if they don’t think the bread crumbs are coming fast enough, is some repugnant shit. I’ll take Marisa Miller, Heidi Klum, et al a-laying around my house any day. Just imagine it. There’s one on her hands and knees on the couch, one pressed up against the refrigerator in high heels with one foot lifted off the ground and her head thrown back in mock laughter her golden tresses perfectly fanned out to let the light from the fridge shine through, and there’s one trimming the Christmas tree if you know what I mean. I don’t even know what the other three are doing, but it would be fun to watch.</div><div><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 144px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzedtHhyLQsXsabTbUknXwchGMcZWLy2d682cd7WU-nP0GMso_KIenPbt9Ytm2pt9L3gfYOYGGkDvVqrlwo12LSpGJNDphamEJFkxH-18mWp2Pfr2I1URWQaQ_4eawUVOFV276iLH8FA4/s200/Michael-Phelps1.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5276367171784036690" />On the seventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me seven Michael Phelpses a-swimming…</span>Who needs swans when you’ve got Phelps? If the entire US Olympic swim team was made up of seven Michael Phelpses we would have like a gajillion gold medals and probably some in diving too. I know that the Olympics are lame and that swimming is even lamer, but you have to admit that seven Michael Phelpses a-swimming would be a tough team to beat. I probably could have gone with the Sports Illustrated swimsuit models again, but I already had them just a-laying around my house and my wife reads this blog so I went with seven Michael Phelpses a-swimming to keep things pleasant between her and I.<br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 88px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjl7WZTg_WPeLbtEqonQYYfoPLKSvLrSnv4vWTR_qsh-V5zOg7eMa5LSZXSA_XpfHL6BmSp6PZcQBMmUlnCdvZsv2npOvHnCmUghnRXc2YbkrE7WyuTmylf4-Tr_UOLzbdGLkDuEDqyNiQ/s200/maid+a+milking.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5276367588825178594" />On the eighth day of Christmas my true love gave to me eight maids a-milking…</span>Now this is one of the lyrics that I would not change because who in their right mind doesn’t want to see eight maids a-milking? I imagine them to be French maids in corsets, with bosoms heaving, all while they sit on three legged milking stools just a-milking away, but your visual might be something entirely different. If, after they were done a-milking, you could then have them compete in a lumberjack competition, also a staple of late night ESPN, all the better. They get done a-milking and then they have to compete in the underhand chop, the standing block chop, tree climbing, the Jack and Jill crosscut (minus the Jack), and the hot saw competitions. Throw in the log rolling balance thingy and I dare say this sporting event is as close to perfect as it gets.<br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjS8ERwbm0QYAzyx0CZPHqrVspJhQYNq6And7sB9W_nUYKCVQ2aNoHnXWWVnjqYWAPV-rtoiSgiEZ9Y3QAyV4cv-Zrpw8F6f_QwG761F6tM8dwgiCLOwXb_mWdiW8KujlsIVTIeSVashmM/s200/dancing.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5276370502097053682" />On the ninth day of Christmas my true love gave to me nine ladies dancing…</span>Again I stick with the original lyric and for good reason I might add. Over the years my wife and I have often had the argument as to what is and what is not a sport. Of course she says that gymnastics is a sport and I say that it is not because the score keeping is too arbitrary and nobody plays any defense. She will then go to ice skating, diving, and swimming. No, no, and no. All of these things are competitions and do require a certain skill set to be good at them, but they are not true sports. I will add to the list bowling, golf, and NASCAR so the ladies don’t think that I’m only disqualifying the things that they like. Then the conversation moves to dancing and this is where I will make a slight exception. I’ll sit down and watch “Dancing with the Stars” with my wife for two reasons; one, she thinks that I am finally enjoying one of her shows, and two, the ladies dancing on that show are hot and I’ll take nine of them please (not the fat one, give me two Julianne Houghs if we need to make up the numbers). Hey, it’s still not a sport, but I said my exception was slight.<br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 134px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWkTnSHaWhfQOJCW3cIGcdrNShdWhv3UaaYevp3RwgbiYvGoLGsqjJGYK09Co8DKB_YGz9WP-CsHGPk2pMh_CZBhizz9jKhyphenhyphenrtIOIYtd-frO1rATy0z0mN1_l_hFxpcv2WOtMGH0I644g/s200/Kenny_Sky_Walker.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5276367989590575554" />On the tenth day of Christmas my true love gave to me ten former NBA Dunk Champions a-leaping…</span>Tell me that this contest wouldn’t be the most awesome thing you’ve ever seen. Can you imagine the line up? Dominique Wilkins, Kenny Walker, Michael Jordan, Spud Webb, Kobe Bryant, Vince Carter, Jason Richardson, Josh Smith, Dwight Howard, hell I’d even let LeBron James participate so that I could make my ten lords a-leaping the best ten leapers of all time. The judges would be throwing up 50s all night long and I think the thing would finally have to be decided in a bare-knuckles boxing match which I think LeBron would win because the dudes a beast. And before you say what about Dwight Howard he’s a bigger beast than LBJ just look at how much the dude smiles out their on the court, he’s soft and LeBron would punch him once in the throat and the thing would be over. However, you should never underestimate the little guy in a fight. With little man’s complex running wild Spud Webb would probably fight until he was burger. Where was I? Oh yeah, the dunks. The dunks would be awesome baby!<br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 184px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_nzUpPzVYCzpwav5LcoCv1ZMLSgAxt6j2siawg8GPrq4xy9DkjJukFGKat_ifTjIQNYAZGsYY-3BDj6Qqry1PtBx9rfTW7vxRdZfPeZ-qf4mIkzKonvR3xZsuSY1qCGPQNwD2aGEEB0M/s200/bears.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5276368399312783714" />O</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">n the eleventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me eleven guys on offense for the Chicago Bears who actually know how to play football…</span>Eleven pipers piping? What the hell does that mean? It sounds gay whatever it is. I would just like to see the Bears put it together again like they did in ’85. Sure the ’85 team’s offense was not their strong suit, but at least they had some guys that you can remember (i.e. Walter Payton, Willie Gault, Jim McMahon). I love the Bears but would be hard pressed to name you six guys from their starting offense. Please sweet baby Jesus just let them put an offense together that doesn’t throw games away like the one they’ve assembled for the last twenty three years. A great defense should not be wasted the way that the Bear’s has been for as long as I can remember. You may want to keep your pipers piping, but all I ask for is a quarterback who can accept the ball from center without fumbling it, step back in the pocket with some confidence, survey the field with intelligence, and make an accurate throw to the guys wearing the same color jersey that he is wearing. Is that too much to ask?<br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 171px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOO2hDSRaYM6DbbKh99B3pNCp4Z6Y8L-bCo_dkKNyQZSalzlAhVtVH3viPzjCjYFrnWyBupTa36ZThF8jAAAXu9N2k0B7M2_-u18bemIdfJ_qOf3cqDbzTlqP4Iwix1U6IniXK0vJg97g/s200/Ray_lewis.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5276368852405971826" />On the twelfth day of Christmas my true love gave to me twelve Ray Lewises playing defense…</span>Again the drummers drumming is nothing but lame, but think about twelve Ray Lewises playing defense. I know that he would have trouble covering fast receivers, but imagine the pass rush. The quarterback wouldn’t have time to take a three-step drop before at least four Ray Lewises were in the backfield pressuring the hell out of him. Running backs would be putting themselves on the “physically unable to play” list for the game against the Ray Lewises before the season even started. I realize that there are only eleven people allowed to play defense on any given play so most of you would think that the twelfth Ray Lewis would be completely unnecessary, but you’d be wrong. What if one of the Ray Lewises kills a couple of guys outside of a nightclub and then has to pin the rap on one of his entourage and while doing community service is forced to miss a couple of games? What then? I bet you wish you had another Ray Lewis to fill <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">that</span> Ray Lewis’ roster spot so that you didn’t have to bring in some other dude who might bring the intensity way down. I like to think ahead. That’s why in my song I asked for twelve Ray Lewises instead of eleven. Booya!<br /><br />And so it is with great pleasure that I bring to you the Sportsman’s version of “The Twelve Days of Christmas”<br />Lyrics by me<br />Music by Frederic Austin<br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">On the twelfth day of Christmas my true love gave to me twelve Ray Lewises playing defense.<br />Eleven guys on offense for the Chicago Bears who actually know how to play football.<br />Ten former NBA Dunk Champions a-leaping.<br />Nine ladies dancing.<br />Eight maids a-milking.<br />Seven Michael Phelpses a-swimming.<br />Six Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition models a-laying around my house.<br />FIIIIIIIIVE NBA Championship Rings!<br />Four guys who imitate birdcalls on really late night ESPN<br />Three French Canadian Hockey players<br />Two Johan Santanas.<br />And a Larry Bird in a pear tree.<br /></span><br /></div></div></div>Jimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08711443970109424489noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8928452877199895706.post-83679119004767527102008-12-01T21:25:00.000-08:002008-12-02T00:14:47.847-08:00The BCS Title Game - Who Will It Be?Now that PlayBoyd has firmly established himself as the awesome Silverback Gorilla in the jungle that is the Jockstrap, I’ll just continue to go about my business in his enormous shadow. I hope this will suffice while you all wait with bated breath for his next comparison post...<br /><br />Today I need to talk college football. We’re all seeing firsthand why the BCS is so amazing. Who should play in the BCS title game? Texas? Texas Tech? Oklahoma? USC? Penn State? Even Utah? This, my friends, is exactly why the BCS is so great. I’m not saying it’s the best system out there—not even close—but it does get people all irate about college football. In and of itself, that is a beautiful thing.<br /><br />If the BCS were not in place this college football season would not have <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAuEb0Jf4zfUZD57Qv_7W_75Tq3VugcUedof859HhdMy_I3e1a8WVR8GthEJx9Ex0vsHbgdV1WfZMX6opAJ4xNeX0_4cy8CM0pmwjBROhPgEJcpSRx4PEwKZ3hopNSFVbwRHxGEQCSa0lF/s1600-h/BCS.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 130px; height: 98px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAuEb0Jf4zfUZD57Qv_7W_75Tq3VugcUedof859HhdMy_I3e1a8WVR8GthEJx9Ex0vsHbgdV1WfZMX6opAJ4xNeX0_4cy8CM0pmwjBROhPgEJcpSRx4PEwKZ3hopNSFVbwRHxGEQCSa0lF/s320/BCS.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5275100927766787938" border="0" /></a>all of this drama. There are six one-loss teams (Texas, Florida, Oklahoma, USC, Texas Tech, Penn State) from major conferences that have a legitimate argument for being in the BCS title game. Personally, I’d rather see an eight team playoff pitting those teams, along with Utah and Alabama, against each other. It would be great. But instead we get this controversy. So, the question remains: Who should play in the BCS Title game? Whoever wins the Florida-Alabama game will get in, but who deserves to face the winner of that game? The candidates:<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">USC</span> (BCS #5)<br />The Trojans have beaten two BCS top 25 teams at home this season (Oregon and <span style="font-style: italic;">The</span> Ohio State) and lost on the road to Oregon State, who is not in the BCS top 25. Because of the weak Pac-10 this season (only two teams in the BCS top 25) USC doesn’t have the resume to match up against the other one-loss teams. The Trojans are out.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Penn State </span>(BCS #8)<br />Penn State suffers from the same thing as UCS—a conference that is crappier than normal. Penn State defeated two BCS top 25 teams (<span style="font-style: italic;">The</span> Ohio State and Michigan State) and lost to Iowa, who pretty much sucks. Penn State did stomp the absolute crap out of Oregon State, who beat USC, but the resume isn’t impressive enough. The Nittany Lions are out. Too bad, because this team was probably Paterno’s last chance to get to the title game as he is likely to pass any day now.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Texas Tech</span> (BCS #7)<br />The Red Raiders (anyone want to clue me in on what a Red Raider is? <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhiEjfAy7W2RHxnWe8CaMyvhahle890RjUy3G2Cx8RoP0mYE0hP4OHGWrvQePC8CU8w9Yo3CwLXVc-ExL1xQ4kH0wKt1OahTQecDbyzoXYm0Qzub_lfkbN7A1l0xBL8OdLBj2Q2WXp7Hxsa/s1600-h/TT+FAN.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 148px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhiEjfAy7W2RHxnWe8CaMyvhahle890RjUy3G2Cx8RoP0mYE0hP4OHGWrvQePC8CU8w9Yo3CwLXVc-ExL1xQ4kH0wKt1OahTQecDbyzoXYm0Qzub_lfkbN7A1l0xBL8OdLBj2Q2WXp7Hxsa/s200/TT+FAN.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5275099338216543650" border="0" /></a>I don’t care enough to look it up, but if someone wants to provide the information for Strap readers, please do) have a pretty decent argument to get into the title game. Their only loss was on the road to the BCS #2 team. They have defeated the #3 team (Texas) and the #14 team. Tech likely won’t get in because of the 65-21 pounding they took at the hands of Oklahoma two weeks ago and the fact that they won’t be winning their conference title. They also barely scraped by Nebraska and Baylor by 6 and 7 points, respectively. Tech has had a very impressive year, but they likely won’t even play in a BCS bowl game even though they boast an 11-1 record. That is as good a reason as any to go to a playoff. Tech is getting screwed.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Texas </span>(BCS #3)<br />The Horns played four top 20 teams this year and beat three of them. The only loss was to Texas Tech on the road on the last play of the game. <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEieu5IIe5-x2pu3pVIoTVyo3Cv7-8s8bbsaACpyaILeTN33dhjNRz9DGhRolbpUIjdvmBhxL1I-skYp1jbPavnUVLVLaU7yqr5eGMJFUN8Aow_9JFyimRb6cgkrtVRQcfl9w9HBEZ2h34z_/s1600-h/Texas+Fan.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 128px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEieu5IIe5-x2pu3pVIoTVyo3Cv7-8s8bbsaACpyaILeTN33dhjNRz9DGhRolbpUIjdvmBhxL1I-skYp1jbPavnUVLVLaU7yqr5eGMJFUN8Aow_9JFyimRb6cgkrtVRQcfl9w9HBEZ2h34z_/s200/Texas+Fan.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5275099922800841842" border="0" /></a>Texas beat Oklahoma on a neutral field, and beat Missouri and Oklahoma State at home. Texas has a legit claim to be in the title game, but they won’t even play in the Big 12 conference championship game. Some people, like Rob, have a moral problem with allowing a team that didn’t win its conference to play in the BCS title game. So what happens if Oklahoma loses to Mizzou? Texas and Texas Tech become ineligible and we go to Penn State or USC? Penn State drubbed Oregon State, the only team that SC lost to, so Florida/Alabama vs. Penn State in the title game? Or how about another team that beat Oregon State?<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Utah</span> (BCS #6)<br />Utah would legitimately be in the BCS again this year even if it were under the old rules of a non-BCS team having to be in the top 6. That is seriously impressive. The Utes haven’t beaten anybody all that special, but they have beaten the Beavers, as well as BYU and TCU, both in the BCS top 25. Utah also has one thing that none of these other teams have—an unblemished record. Every BCS team would throw a fit if Utah got in, but who cares? Do it just to be different. Plus, everyone loves rooting for the underdog. Utah vs. Florida in the national title game? That would be awesome. I get the feeling Urban would try to hang 60 on his old school and I’d be interested to see if he could do it.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Oklahoma</span> (BCS #2)<br />Texas fans are all pissing and moaning about beating Oklahoma head-to-head, but when you add in Texas Tech and have a three way tie, you have to look at the overall body of work. Oklahoma’s body of work is just more impressive than is Texas’s. Oklahoma has played five BCS top 20 teams and beaten four of them. Their only loss is to the BCS #3 on a neutral field—that’s a quality loss if there is such thing. If Oklahoma beats Mizzou next week they will have beaten five BCS top 20 teams (TCU, Cincy, Tech, & Oklahoma State). The Sooners have not only beaten those teams, they’ve crushed them by an average margin of victory of 29! That is awesome. Oklahoma’s body of work is impressive and they deserve to be in the BCS title game over Texas, Texas Tech, USC, Penn State, or Utah. Plus, I predicted that Oklahoma would win the National Title in my college football preview, so the Sooners getting there would help me feel validated.Taylorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06548435800502392525noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8928452877199895706.post-80751231778983891952008-11-28T10:57:00.000-08:002008-11-28T20:44:51.161-08:00Shame On You AmericaThis is going to be short as I am trying to enjoy the holidays with my family. Thanksgiving was a success. We enjoyed the dinners (both at my parent's house and at my in-laws). There is nothing better than eating a delicious meal surrounded by loved ones, enjoying the comforts of hearth and home, and discussing the many things for which we are grateful. It was a wonderful day spent thinking of others and thanking the Lord above for our many blessings.<div><br /></div><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 197px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnbF87w95ymwIYo-OGoXNtjYLb5aaswsQHvAIl3-La9wAxUfC3wYangjGbQfmIdcqQTARJxWpg-VqylPVj14eZBynhoqz8kC_9zEy335IrSXwgSqux7GAei8rbEnqbP8zdtuu2ln0oloc/s320/shoppers.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5273790116129833602" /><div>Put that in stark contrast with today's activities. "Black Friday" as it is called across this great nation of ours, is upon us. It is ironic that this day of aggressiveness and greed would follow so closely behind Thanksgiving that it is now tramping all over the coattails of the Pilgrims themselves. I refuse to enter the stores on this day as it only makes me shed a single bitter tear for our once proud country. My pregnant wife entered the fray this morning at some ungodly hour and was pushed, shoved, and run over by greedy men and women alike. She was unable to reach the back of the store in time to purchase an item that she had her eyes on because in her delicate state she was unwilling, and perhaps unable, to elbow old women out of the way, or pin a child between a shopping cart and the shoe racks by his neck.</div><div><br /></div><div>I hope you all got everything that you "needed" to make your yuletides bright. I thought the country was in a recession, but I guess when you can get a progressive scan DVD player that normally costs $39.00 for $25.00 recession be damned. Who cares if you have to ram your cart into the back of somebody's heel or shove a pregnant woman into a stack of $3 CDs to be first in line at the greed-fest.</div><div><br /></div><div>Shame on you America. </div>Jimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08711443970109424489noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8928452877199895706.post-330827121069158622008-11-24T22:08:00.000-08:002008-11-24T22:32:35.279-08:00BYU v. Utah - The AftermathSports fans can’t seem to give credit where it is due. Why can’t we give credit to whoever beats our favorite team? There is always some excuse instead of saying the better team won. Well, congratufreakinglations, Utes fan. You get to go to the BCS for the second time while listening to BYU fans tell you that you’re overrated, even though you beat the Cougars by 24 points.<br /><br />Even though I am a BYU fan, I will not be telling you that I think Utah is overhyped or doesn’t deserve to go to the BCS. You won't get any pictures of the game in this post, but the fact of the matter is this: Utah is 12-0. Period. I’m not going to go with the “you didn’t really play anybody” argument either. Going undefeated in D-1 football (I’m still not calling it the FBS) is quite an accomplishment no matter who you play. On top of that, Utah beat three top-25 teams this season in Oregon State, TCU, and BYU. Anyone who watched the TCU-BYU game knows how good the Horned Frogs are. And for the record, the name Horned Frogs deserves two thumbs up.<br /><br />As I stated in my post last week, seeing Utah beat BYU at anything makes me sick. I get irritated when I find out Utah beat BYU in women’s soccer, but last Saturday was pretty bad. Then I get to read Body’s (see comments to Utah post) post about the “mighty Utes” yesterday and it only exacerbates things. Mighty Utes. In my book that should be an oxymoron. But it isn’t—the Utes are good.<br /><br />I’m already sick of hearing (and reading) about how the Utes are overrated. If this comes from a Florida or Texas fan I can handle it, but when it comes from a Cougar fan after a 24-point beat down it comes off as you just being a sourpuss. As a BYU fan, I now make this plea to other Cougars fans: Please don’t piss and moan about the Utes being a fraud or "not that good." Don’t go with the “we only lost because Max Hall was playing for both teams” crack. Don’t just say “the Utes suck, BYU gave them that game.” When you make these arguments, we all look bad. Please stop. All I’m saying is, if you’re going to run your mouth (as we all know BYU fans love to do, myself included) please make a legitimate claim. Don’t just spit out whatever is in your head out of frustration. The Utes doubled up BYU on Saturday. It’s a fact. It sucks, but Cougars fans whining and blaming it on everything other than Utah being a good football team makes us look like idiots. The outcome of the game doesn’t mean BYU sucks, it means that Utah played better, won the game, and finished unbeaten.<br /><br />I have friends that are BYU fans that will surely tell me this post sucks or that I’m selling out. I’ve already heard it from people in conversation over the weekend. We seem to take losses so personally - I’ve heard two years worth of it from Utah fans. I hear about how BYU shouldn’t have won the last two matchups and that it was luck, or the refs, or the fault of one defensive lapse… Hearing that crap for two years got old. BYU made the plays to win the game. This year Utah made the plays, and I have to deal with it for the next year. So I’m going to sack up, put the big pants on, and give credit where it is due. Nice job Utah. Congrats. And I look forward to revenge next year.Taylorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06548435800502392525noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8928452877199895706.post-13550905726416906842008-11-20T16:07:00.000-08:002008-11-21T08:42:53.900-08:00How Many Athletes Does It Take To Screw In A Light Bulb?While I do not normally participate in the mundane telling of preconceived jokes (knock, knock. Who's there? Nobody gives a damn. Etc.), today I would like to explore a number of famous athletes and their ability or inability to screw in the proverbial light bulb.<div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">Kobe Bryant</span></div><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 145px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWP7VttwqRWfI6vHEsNbRxMjJSoROl6loix7-zZN9cwGENNCETY4XVsLvE4zkwYw9rosTWhIwqA-Exrm8I3M149kL9X3FmBR2icojAX9WNxYnEKuihvZJSxs6KS66_oDUhGcItZEYG2VE/s200/kobe.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5270899260795696978" /><div>Though it has been established over the course of Kobe's life that he certainly has the ability to screw things, it remains uncertain whether or not one of those screwable objects is a light bulb. It would be trite and a bit too easy for me to simply say something like: "How many Kobe Bryants does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. All he has to do is hold the light bulb and let the Earth revolve around him." One thing is certain though, Kobe has a great team of high-priced lawyers to help him if he is ever accused of screwing in any light bulb, be it consensual or forced. One can only assume that with Kobe's seemingly unlimited skill set, the task of screwing in a simple light bulb would be taken in stride, though a little beneath him (no pun intended).</div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">Adam "Don't Call Me Pacman" Jones</span></div><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 145px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_004Uk7QOmI6B-34JVcdRKg8fxymHzs6jQjcc917nbqmWAhz3moBfIj05RbnTpCBkY5KQvRySI50I8oDYIWnJBPY-tEBev5EQnBtJkPoEQh_tDJ-bMxlFG4gQ6iuMz9hH3hp2KElKCVg/s200/pacman.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5270910604091464066" /><div>Pacman has a myriad of problems: guns, alcohol, drugs, strippers, strip club shootouts resulting in the death of innocent bystander, ADHD (not confirmed, but come on now), and pro wrestling. While his laundry list of offenses and shortcomings is incredibly long I don't think that it includes trouble with petite motor skills. Screwing in a light bulb should be no problem for a man who uses his hands for a living, after all his profession involves holding, pushing, grabbing, catching, flashing gang signs, and making it rain. Surely screwing in a light bulb can't be more difficult that locking fingers in a mercy fight with Triple H, or firing several rounds of ammunition into the air to warn all haters that he ain't messin' around. Never having had the experience, I can only assume that it takes finger dexterity to work a roach clip, but I could be wrong.</div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">Shaquille O'neal</span></div><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 194px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhop5kWIzmmS0O_akchG5W0-QKH_cyJ4riBt5dNAhrq79BKFqXjdFjnWn3m3PoWpBwXm-loI_2w3h_OYQkaV8aTdTiD02yh5RqdX_H0ZdHfx2N_5Ad4hNPuOA-IjrdUia4CItI-FHfJdCU/s200/shaq.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5270910965527230370" /><div>I think there is no doubt as to whether or not Shaq could screw in a light bulb. Of course he can. The question is whether he would use magic to accomplish this feat or a more traditional method. "Kazaam! The light bulb is in." With the big fella reaching heights of over seven feet tall he certainly would not need a ladder to do his screwing, and if you ask his ex-wife he doesn't even need to be home or with her to do his screwing either. Shaq would most definitely give himself a hilarious nickname while doing this task. Something like "The Big Electrician" or "The Big Honey-Do List Accomplisher". Perhaps if the ceilings were incredibly high and none of Shaq's posse were around to screw the light bulb in for him he might get out a ladder and begin the task of screwing by himself (not like <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">that</span> you sick bastards. Get your minds out of the gutter). Maybe while he was up there standing high above the ground it would be a more opportune moment than at a hip-hop club to ask his "best friend" Kobe how exactly his ass tastes.</div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">Tim Duncan</span></div><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 158px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixkxvpxt1jfB_ZOm7xQE_7jNsB7Frvv2eWUJcUfFSEwTw32r87u2E6UmTXFLKgqcHVqBLOqXwH4ATTErPUN9He_F6xc6RzyoZveD3Y3FYhXng_tMZ4M9CzFHN2jeWSnIGraGK1ixP-TEc/s200/timduncan.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5270915144286707234" /><div>I could go into a bunch of crazy reasoning as to whether or not Timmy could screw in a light bulb, I could try to use slight of hand, wit, or sarcasm. I could talk about how on the island Tim grew up on they probably didn't even have light bulbs, or how he plays lights out most of the time, or some other such drivel, but we all know that the answer to this question is just as simple and fundamental as this big man's game. Yes. Yes he can.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>*Derek Fisher would use his kid's cancer to get out of screwing in a light bulb.</div><div>*Greg Oden would break his wrist, knee, and ankle trying to screw in a light bulb. Plus his osteoporosis is too highly advanced because he's probably like 87 years old.</div><div>*Rex Grossman would fumble the light bulb when accepting it from the hardware store clerk and then recklessly throw it into a group of light bulbs from the opposing team.</div><div>*Tiger Woods would screw the light bulb in from 120 yards with a soft pitching wedge and insane backspin.</div><div>*Ray Lewis would allegedly murder his light bulb outside a club, pass the blame on to one of his buddies for a promised sum of money once said friend served his time, and then win defensive player of the year.</div><div> </div><div>I had a couple of other examples, but not very much time, so enjoy and feel free to add anything you would like. I've got to go screw in a light bulb. </div>Jimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08711443970109424489noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8928452877199895706.post-69993698600959912932008-11-19T22:50:00.000-08:002008-11-21T15:15:43.670-08:00BYU-Utah: The Holy War<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbr2f-SYTbBVNXvfw8ViDqewB3801kdIZ2Q289nyx9BcvnMfSEMX65J_tYRGsI1aSRsGItv_9zgl-C6K5eyUHFPKAn2NOsrujCkYGKu6ilhRushUgAhFzk1ojPNjE-u4BlzLYfRBejXRYl/s1600-h/BYU+v+UTAH.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 210px; height: 157px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbr2f-SYTbBVNXvfw8ViDqewB3801kdIZ2Q289nyx9BcvnMfSEMX65J_tYRGsI1aSRsGItv_9zgl-C6K5eyUHFPKAn2NOsrujCkYGKu6ilhRushUgAhFzk1ojPNjE-u4BlzLYfRBejXRYl/s320/BYU+v+UTAH.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5270639114248120946" border="0" /></a>It’s time for the Holy War. It should be called the Holier Than Thou War if we must go that route, but I don’t get to run the show. I am definitely biased when it comes to this matchup, so I should mention that up front. I <span style="font-style: italic;">hate</span> the Utes. I also respect the U, but I hate everything about that team and I hope BYU pounds the crap out of them. I realize that’s not going to happen, and that is one of the things that makes this rivalry great.<br /><br />I’ve been to at least 10 or 15 BYU-Utah games and it’s always crazy. I remember going to the game at Rice-Eccles in 2000 and thinking that I might not make it out of the stadium in tact. BYU and Utah fans hate each other. The fact that Boyd and I get along is an anomaly in this rivalry. It's probably because we look at things more realistically than most BYU or Utah fans. It’s hard being a Cougars fan because I often get lumped into the Embarrassment or My Cup Runneth O’er categories. But I’m still a die-hard Cougars fan (by the way, Utah lost to SW Baptist in basketball last week – at home. I know, I know, college hoops sucks, but it needed to be said).<br /><br />Notice how great these teams have been over the past 2 years or so: Utah has won 19 of its last 20 and BYU has won 20 of its last 21. Both teams are winning at a 95% clip! The teams have split the last 12 meetings. In the last eleven games between BYU and Utah, only one has been decided by double digits (Utah won 52-21 in 2004, the year they broke the BCS under Urban Meyer). The last three games have been unreal, with one going into overtime, one decided on the last play, and the other being decided in the final two minutes. I’m stoked because the game on Saturday should be no different. In looking forward to Saturday, here are my big questions:<br /><br />Can the Utah secondary keep Austin Collie from having a big game?<br />Will the U go about defending Collie with business as usual or will they specifically put McCain or Smith on him? Smith is bigger and more physical, but McCain is faster and the better cover man. The Ute defense will catch a break if Dennis Pitta can’t play, because they will be able to really focus on Collie. My guess is that Collie will extend his streak of 100-yard games to ten.<br /><br />Can the BYU offensive line protect Max Hall?<br />Probably not. The BYU offensive line was shellacked by the TCU defensive line and Utah’s is almost as athletic. The Utah coaching staff will have some new wrinkles to throw at the Cougar line and will likely be able to force Hall to get happy feet. Seemed to work for the Horned Frogs...<br /><br />Can the BYU defense slow down the Utah offense?<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2xoOyRICL9DeGOXA6ZiVr8eSzBkzCDGB2rtrsZUOuFWNygVz0mDi4yfERejA7O_TvUYvAs4jz2lgfoZINeYQKBdlR_bnWe-26f2lmxkOLaOvWm0lX65qUs6eCv31mDzVgwODCsdg_DsS_/s1600-h/UTAH+MACK.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 200px; height: 174px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2xoOyRICL9DeGOXA6ZiVr8eSzBkzCDGB2rtrsZUOuFWNygVz0mDi4yfERejA7O_TvUYvAs4jz2lgfoZINeYQKBdlR_bnWe-26f2lmxkOLaOvWm0lX65qUs6eCv31mDzVgwODCsdg_DsS_/s200/UTAH+MACK.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5270639350316149314" border="0" /></a><br />I’d be surprised. The BYU defense ranks 21st in scoring defense and has had two shutouts this year, but those stats are deceiving. This defense is just not very good. Utah runs an offense that uses a lot of misdirection to keep defenses off balance. The BYU defense has looked <span style="font-style: italic;">terrible</span> against teams that run those kinds of offenses this year, so why would it be any different Saturday? Look for the Utes to put a big number on the board.<br /><br /><br />Will anyone choke?<br />I ask this question because both quarterbacks are so freaking clutch. Brian J<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiU-8KWhY87PR2lsFtSsmjiMSI7TMhrsMWuxPuEIupEF-xO83NXP3qfJYR0EV9AW74VTDSqXrDmbKQAJ_JSeWHuUQv30TO49ZDpuRFggP90he0cpIgMeuChjRE2NNIbTaZO9lk5DutHcKbn/s1600-h/BYU+UNGA.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 200px; height: 134px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiU-8KWhY87PR2lsFtSsmjiMSI7TMhrsMWuxPuEIupEF-xO83NXP3qfJYR0EV9AW74VTDSqXrDmbKQAJ_JSeWHuUQv30TO49ZDpuRFggP90he0cpIgMeuChjRE2NNIbTaZO9lk5DutHcKbn/s200/BYU+UNGA.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5270639224144902242" border="0" /></a>ohnson has led the Utes on some impressive fourth-quarter drives. He led an amazing comeback against Oregon State earlier this year, a last minute touchdown drive against TCU, and last year against BYU he took the Utes to the end zone to take the lead in the final minutes. Max Hall has done the same thing for the Cougars. Hall has led the team on game-winning drives against Utah last year, and UNLV, Colorado State, and Washington this year. Both are cool in the clutch and have impressive records as a starting quarterback (Johnson 24-7, Hall 21-3). I wouldn’t bet against either of them.<br /><br />Which team will be more prepared?<br />Based on what I’ve seen in the past three years with Kyle and Bronco it should be about even. Here is where the edge comes in – Kyle appears to be much better at making adjustments. If BYU starts fast, expect Utah to counterattack by throwing something different at them. If Utah starts fast, expect BYU to make adjustments when it’s too late.<br /><br />Who will win?<br />As a BYU fan I want nothing more than to see the U lose their BCS opportunity in a flameout. I think BYU has the better offense, but Utah has the advantage on defense and special teams. Throw in the home field advantage and the Utes are looking good. I hope I’m wrong, but I’m picking Utah 38-30.Taylorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06548435800502392525noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8928452877199895706.post-55098860811164161222008-11-17T21:11:00.001-08:002008-11-19T18:26:21.175-08:00Facts about Tim Tebow<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSlJLoW-gxifg5hB6nRoAKQ30vIEmCOQJQkzDbFw5KUiHt61Udvm6fZir6Q5sL1Zb7DxG_odzcvdS9-S0aGWGsiOZz7953FsJDbkiFv4uRGl_htrta_3jLXm9IKE_xaNpS_47GJoJx9C3t/s1600-h/TT.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 121px; height: 93px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSlJLoW-gxifg5hB6nRoAKQ30vIEmCOQJQkzDbFw5KUiHt61Udvm6fZir6Q5sL1Zb7DxG_odzcvdS9-S0aGWGsiOZz7953FsJDbkiFv4uRGl_htrta_3jLXm9IKE_xaNpS_47GJoJx9C3t/s320/TT.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5269865508608558738" border="0" /></a>One of my friends is a huge Florida Gators fan. It borders on obsession. He sent me an email awhile ago that made me laugh. Because the Gators are currently making a push as the best college football team in the country, here are 15 facts about Tim Tebow, the 2007 Heisman Trophy winner.<br /><br /><br />15. Tim Tebow once stiff-armed a horse. Its descendants are known as giraffes.<br /><br />14. Tim Tebow caught the roadrunner, and then beat the hell out of Wil E. Coyote for being a pansey.<br /><br />13. Superman wears Tim Tebow pajamas.<br /><br />12. Tim Tebow can eat just one Lays potato chip. Don't tell Tim Tebow what he can't do.<br /><br />11. Tim Tebow invented black. In fact, Tim Tebow invented the entire spectrum of light. Except pink. Bobby Bowden invented pink.<br /><br />10. Tim Tebow invented the bolt-action rifle, liquor, sexual intercourse, and football. In that order.<br /><br />9. God wanted to create the world in 10 days, but Tim Tebow only gave him 6.<br /><br />8. Tim Tebow once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. It made him blink.<br /><br />7. Tim Tebow once ate an entire cake before his friends could inform him that there was a stripper in it.<br /><br />6. The grass is always greener on the other side. Unless Tim Tebow has been there. In that case, the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.<br /><br />5. Tim Tebow recently had the idea to sell his canned urine as a beverage. This is now known as Red Bull.<br /><br />4. For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Tim Tebow, each testicle is larger than the other one.<br /><br />3. Superman's only weakness is Kryptonite. Tim Tebow laughs at Superman for having a weakness.<br /><br />2. Tim Tebow won the Tour de France on a unicycle to prove to Lance Armstrong that it wasn't a big deal. Tim Tebow thinks yellow wrist bands are gay.<br /><br />1. After sex, Tim Tebow smokes. Not cigarettes - his penis literally smokes.Taylorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06548435800502392525noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8928452877199895706.post-38164521257402382172008-11-13T22:28:00.000-08:002008-11-14T10:19:51.312-08:00Food and the NBAOkay, this is going to be a little crazy. I was sitting here watching a couple of different NBA games and then I got to thinking about how hungry I am. As I was trying to decide what to eat I got to thinking about a list of my favorite foods. I then said to myself, "Self, I love the NBA so much and I also love food. I love the Celtics and I love pizza. Mmmm, pizza. Hey, if NBA players were food who would be spaghetti and meat balls?" (I told you it was going to be crazy).<div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">Pizza-Paul Pierce</span></div><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 146px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQ50u2rDIWxZhT3ZQD3loDofYkat5N37Axl8zRw6j5rYEtRgBnj8gFkuolkjzy-uyD6hXXWIlQ-5SP5Ih4mTnCJ8vYqirnI7AC_omrggK82JTQJR-fTGADRd4-Xo7bir0XWRCnTLg3EvY/s200/pierce.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5268416551622516658" /><div>This was an obvious choice for me because both are my favorite. I loves me some Paul Pierce just like I loves me some pizza. Pizza has so many different options. You can go with plain cheese, hawaiian, or pepperoni which is a favorite in my household, but your choices don't end there, not by a long shot. Sausage, olives, mushrooms, onions, peppers, ham, bacon, hamburger, and tomatoes are all delicious backed into a pizza pie. Some people like goat cheese and artichoke hearts on their pizza (which sounds disgusting to me) but never having tried it, I can't say if it's good or not. To me, Paul Pierce is like pizza. Pierce can give it to you so many ways. He has the sweet outside shot and on occasion if he sets his mind to it can rain threes down on you from any spot around the arc. He can post up, he can slash to the basket, he has a midrange game, he can fade away, he plays in the middle of the key, on the wing, or from the baseline. Pierce can shoot free throws so you can foul him and send him to the line because he'll kill you. Some people will argue that Kobe should be pizza, but Kobe is too much of an A-hole to be sweet, beautiful pizza. Pizza would never cheat on his wife or allegedly rape his lady friend, that's more a sushi or lamb chops move. And Lebron can't be pizza because he can't shoot and believe me when I say it, pizza can shoot the lights out.</div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">Fillet Mignon-Tim Duncan</span></div><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 148px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAlvXbBggQsIt68PEPQKSSq0hDuXorK5KIbvd66hkch3ETmuQShQvL-CSZwCHlJasHSG-0oi228AGiOjJdVjo0olqZpB-30MhIlvDRqhVekrVFVEyR2OqEP5zLdFa-686gvQmuYGEm0Fg/s200/Tim+Duncan.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5268578975323005874" /><div>I enjoy a succulent steak whenever I can afford one (I'm not talking about a steak at Sizzlers now, I'm talking about a beautiful piece of center cut fillet about three inches thick and cooked to perfection by a real chef, not a guy who works at the taco cart part time and will drywall your basement for beer). Steak is a staple of american cuisine. It is basic, simple, but extremely delicious. Steak is best when seasoned with salt and pepper. It is ordinary but satisfying. Tim Duncan is known as "the Big Fundamental". He is not flashy or exciting, but the quality of his game can never be questioned. Like steak Duncan is a staple of american cuisine, er basketball. Duncan's salt and pepper are Manu Ginobili and Tony Parker. These players compliment Duncan just as these simple seasonings make a steak even more delicious, and as we have seen this season, without his salt and pepper Duncan is still a stud but just not as good as he could be. P.S. Tim Duncan has a two head instead of a forehead. This has nothing to do with food, but it is an interesting FYI.</div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">Ice Cream Crepes-Dirk Nowitzki</span></div><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 175px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAuanDr73s0PSwF5hCRGfxYi2uuDkbCHs3Dq15d0gr77O-JQ9PIFzNLT5B0qlTSWpmT23C5kICi8bRcIvzXyJJeYE_fKgYoqvDhNANhztTTJJI3ipz0qin3iUFhyphenhyphenXvKFvvsgEZqCWi1T4/s200/dirk-nowitzki.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5268419417528910034" /><div>I had this really good dessert the other day and it made me think of Nowitzki. The thin crepes were filled with vanilla ice cream, surrounded by fresh berries, and drizzled with a butter chocolate sauce. The combination of these flavors was a bit foreign yet extremely delicious. After a few bites however, I realized that my plate must have just come out of the dishwasher and was still a little warm. This desert could not stand up to even this limited heat source and the ice cream had melted before I could get through the entire dish. Dirk Nowitzki is also a little foreign yet his game is extremely delicious. A seven footer with that type of range should not be allowed to exist. Nowitzki is surrounded by some fresh berries in Josh Howard and Jason Kidd and a few sour ones in Erick Dampier and Gerald Green. Jerry Stackhouse and Jason Terry add the chocolate sauce (and not like you are thinking, when I say chocolate sauce in this case I mean sauce made from chocolate not whatever sick and twisted thing you disgusting bastards are thinking. Get your minds out of the gutter). And lastly, just like my ice cream treat, Dirk Nowitzki melts under the mildest application of heat like the playoffs or some other pressure packed situation like free throws when the game is on the line.</div><div><br /></div><div>Honorable Mentions:</div><div>Spaghetti and Meatballs-Shaq (because meatballs sound fat)</div><div>Devils Spit Hot Wings-KG (because of their shared intensity)</div><div>Anything cooked on the Hibachi-Gilbert Arenas (because dude thinks he's cookin' suckers)</div><div>Moo goo gai pan-Yao Ming (obvious reasons)</div><div>Anything that is cooked with a huge flash of fire and then leaves a really bad taste in your mouth-Vince Carter (he has now quit on TWO teams)</div><div><br /></div><div>Feel free to add your NBA favorites, bake until golden brown around the edges, let cool, and enjoy!</div>Jimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08711443970109424489noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8928452877199895706.post-36453897439339933822008-11-12T23:27:00.000-08:002008-11-13T00:46:51.468-08:00It's Time For College BasketballI love college basketball and the season is about to start, which means it's prediction time. As a side note, I would like to mention that before the season started last year, I predicted Kansas to win the National Championship. I'm not saying I'll be right again, but I'm hoping I look good when it's all over. So, without further ado, here are my 2008-2009 college hoops predictions.<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Most likely to hang 50 in a game</span>: Stephen Curry, Davidson.<br />Don't be fooled by the fact that he looks like he's just about to hit puberty. Curry scored 26 ppg last season and hung 40 on Gonzaga in the first round of the tourney last year, including 30 in the second half. He then proceeded to drop 25 in the second half against Georgetown in the second round. Curry is the real deal and could very possibly hang 50 on someone this year. He scored less than 15 points in a game twice last year in 36 games.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Most likely to be the #1 pick in the 2009 NBA Draft</span>: Blake Griffin, Oklahoma.<br />Griffin is a bit raw but his athleticism is off the charts. He's 6-10, 250, and has a "great body." He went for 15 ppg and 9 rpg last year while being plagued by two separate knee injuries. He finished strong last year by averaging 21 ppg and 15 rpg over his last 8 games as his health improved. If Griffin stays consistently healthy this year he'll play his way into being the top pick in the next NBA Draft, where Stephen A. Smith is sure to say something asinine.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Most Famous Player</span>: Percy Miller, USC.<br />You might know Percy as the son of Master P, the founder of No Limit Records. Make 'em say <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jykg9jDI6T8">Uhhhhh</a>! Or you might know him as Lil Romeo. You don't know nuthin' about Lil Romeo, son. Side note - why do rappers think that having Lil in your nickname is cool? Have you ever considered how stupid some of these rap names are? Lil Wayne, Lil Scrappy, Fabolous, Young Jeezy, Lil Flip, Birdman, Slim Thug. I don't get it. Anyway, Miller must be the only college basketball player in America that drives a $300,000 Maybach. Word is that USC offered Lil Homeo a scholarship so that they could sign DeMar DeRozan. DeRozan is an <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XbOgK1tTFQw">insane athlete</a> and could knock Griffin out as the #1 pick in the draft. Miller's 13 ppg in high school was apparently enough to get him a Pac-10 scholarship... Forgive me for being skeptical.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">National Player of the Year</span>: Stephen Curry.<br />Everyone is automatically penciling Tyler Hansbrough in as POY, but Curry has so much juice from his performance last year that I think he'll get the award.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Most Amazing Uniforms</span>: Marquette<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgimbRCiWnGs6Fha2LQV2RMslQLn76PQXWlIfhqd9sFW9n5nhEm0iCzuUzo4rSaChibyiIXYoLLZ4nhyphenhyphendcKZmvnN0IjnzEItRJ2zvGJQAzYsO4MKTelTQY9Ym-heICBoDrXuem3BpSzNWH8/s1600-h/MARQ.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 106px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgimbRCiWnGs6Fha2LQV2RMslQLn76PQXWlIfhqd9sFW9n5nhEm0iCzuUzo4rSaChibyiIXYoLLZ4nhyphenhyphendcKZmvnN0IjnzEItRJ2zvGJQAzYsO4MKTelTQY9Ym-heICBoDrXuem3BpSzNWH8/s200/MARQ.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5268057362225203106" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;"><br /><br />Watch Out For These Teams</span>: Virginia Tech, USC, Saint Mary's, Alabama, UNLV.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">These Teams Are Overhyped</span>: Pittsburgh, Tennessee, Georgetown.<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Elite Eight</span>: Notre Dame, Duke, UCLA, Gonzaga<br />Notre Dame returns almost everyone, including the best post player in the country not named Hansbrough. Luke Harangody averaged 20 and 11 last year, but the Irish lack depth.<br />Duke has a great backcourt and tremendous wings, but no consistent inside presence. The backcourt is good enough to get them this far.<br />UCLA brought in an incredible recruiting class to go along with the best point guard in the country, Darren Collison. The Bruins will again play great D and own the Pac-10, but the consecutive Final Four streak ends at 3.<br />Gonzaga is stacked, and Austin Daye could take the country by storm. If Daye breaks out and Josh Heytvelt decides to stay off of shrooms, the Zags could make a Final Four trip.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Final Four</span>: Louisville, Michigan State<br />Louisville is stacked and Pitino teams generally get better as the season goes on. The Cardinals have a legitimate shot at winning the championship this season. Earl Clark is a future lottery pick.<br />Michigan State is fast and athletic, and Kalin Lucas underappreciated. He'll ease the blow from losing Drew Neitzel. Lucas is a blur with the ball, and the Spartans have a bunch of young players who will bust out. Keep an eye out for Durrell Summers.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">National Runner-up</span>: North Carolina<br />Everyone is picking UNC to win it all, as the smart money is on the Tar Heels to bring Roy Williams another title. The Heels have last season's National Player of the Year in Tyler Hansbrough and the fastest point guard in the country in Ty Lawson. Not to mention Wayne Ellington, Danny Green, and Marcus Ginyard. Oh, and they had a top 5 recruiting class. All this coming back for a team that went 36-3.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">National Champs</span>: Connecticut<br />So, with UNC so stacked, I'm picking last season's 4th place team in the Big East to win the title. Why? Because I don't like to go with the obvious pick. The reasons for the UConn pick are simple: every significant player returns improved, Calhoun is a great coach, and the Huskies match up well with UNC. If any player in the country can neutralize Hansbrough it's Hasheem Thabeet. At 7'3 and 260, Thabeet can block shots, rebound, and his offensive game has continued to get better. He added a jump shot to his game last year, and his power moves are beginning to look Shaq-like. The Huskies have talent at every position, with A.J. Price, Jeff Adrien, Jerome Dyson, Craig Austrie, and Stanley Robinson. The Huskies will do what they did in 1999 - beat an invincible ACC team to win it all.Taylorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06548435800502392525noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8928452877199895706.post-30973969281602197052008-11-11T23:23:00.000-08:002008-11-11T23:58:20.546-08:00Two “Sports” That Are Not SportsBoyd wrote a post a while back about what constitutes a <a href="http://thoughtsfromthejockstrap.blogspot.com/2008/09/is-baseball-sport.html">sport</a>. Did you know that speed walking is considered a sport? Well, the technical term is racewalking, but it is considered a sport, or at least an athletic event. Since no one defends a goal of any kind, we’ll call it an athletic event. Racewalking is an Olympic event, and has been since 1908! The fact that this is an event at the Olympics should shatter all credibility for the games (even moreso than the Chinese gymnasts who had their Huggies protruding from their leotards). In racewalking, one must keep a foot in contact with the ground at all times and judges are on hand to monitor a racewalker’s form. They even hand out red cards for violation of rules. Similar to soccer, which also sucks.<br /><br />Racewalking has been around since the late 1800s and it has sucked for just as long. How is this considered a sport? Watch how these people swing their arms like they’re part of a retard gang doing a pimp walk. While looking up information on racewalking I came across a blog written by an apparently famous racewalker. She went on some diatribe about how jogging sucks and she insults joggers by telling them that jogging is bad for your knees and that they must buy their shoes at “Joggertown.” If racewalkers are all this clever and run smack like that then you can count me in. Where do I sign up? There are many resources available to the speed walker, such as books, how-to DVDs, and classes. For those of you who are interested, click <a href="http://www.racewalk.com/defaultRW.asp">here</a>.<br /><br />This clip sums it up beautifully.<br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/hi4DEdUmA6A&hl=en&fs=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/hi4DEdUmA6A&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br /><br />This brings me to my all-time favorite “sport” - NASCAR. NASCAR is flat-out unacceptable. What family time could be better than Cletus teaching his son how to be an athlete by sitting him in a Fisher Price car and having him learn to turn the wheel to the left? I must give credit where credit is due: NASCAR has influenced society in positive ways, including street racing, window stickers, Calvin pissing on a Ford logo, cars with no mufflers, and the Confederate Flag.<br /><br />The other day I had a neighbor invite me to his house to watch a race on a Sunday afternoon. He says, “I know you’re a big sports guy, so I thought maybe you’d want to come watch Nascar with us this Sunday.” After I stopped laughing I politely declined. Amongst all my dislike for Nascar, I must admit that any “sport” that markets specifically to rednecks has a certain charm. Kentucky Fried Chicken advertised and sold NASCAR collectible buckets of chicken. This is ingenious - everyone knows that the NASCAR-loving segment of the population is enormous within the fried chicken-purchasing population. What other population would run out to buy chicken because someone stamped <span style="font-style: italic;">collectible</span> on the side next to a picture of a guy wearing a thick bodysuit while sporting a great cropduster? Tennis fan certainly wouldn’t flock to KFC with their Polo collars popped to get collectible Pete Sampras buckets.<br /><br />I don’t know how many people are going to read this post, but it’s inevitable that some noob is going to get on here and tell me that I’m ignorant and that I have no idea how hard racing is, that I've disrespected the South or rednecks, or that I'm an idiot who just wants to complain about something. I know, I know, NASCAR is a 200mph chess match and holding the wheel to the left while putting your foot down on a pedal requires loads of athletic ability. Watching all these advertisements on wheel is like watching a crappy 3-hour commercial. And people actually pay to see it. I’m not trying to convince anyone not to watch NASCAR. If you like it, fine. But don’t tell me that it’s a sport and don’t tell me the drivers are athletes. If you rednecks leave a comment, please at least try to be coherent. I'm tired - Goodnight, now.Taylorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06548435800502392525noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8928452877199895706.post-89960236103850994602008-11-07T10:05:00.000-08:002008-11-07T11:26:19.694-08:00I hate you BCS, or BSC, whatever.Okay, so I'm not much of a college football fan. I'll admit that I'm a homer. I love the University of Utah because that is where I got my degree and I just can't stand my other option, BYU. So when it comes to College Football, I don't have much of an opinion on much of anything. But there i<img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 189px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-gyJ9vYVvLbmto3W3VY6_oJi6EGskKShra2EWXbwdvTbSklo4KwThkQTBoSzrw4O5Y8ctOnq4KnZgrwnu_epfSIPNkU2CJKB4_lrAlCIRQqPdN5gR5R2_SVvscjoCmH1PzVR2fOYJ_mA/s320/utes.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5265996383250339922" />s one topic in NCAA Football on which I do have an opinion, one thing that I am certain is slowly destroying the game, and that is the BCS.<div><br /></div><div>Today on Sportscenter the football gurus are debating whether or not the University of Utah should be allowed a BCS bowl bid. They are ranked 8th in the BCS standings and this was before they beat TCU last night (ranked 12th in the BCS). Why is this a debate? The Utes are ranked 8th for hell's sake, they are 10-0 and have beaten three pretty good teams (Michigan at the Big House, Oregon State, and TCU). If Texas or USC have one loss they are still in the top ten in the BCS and no one ever questions <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">their</span> ranking, so why the Utes? I'll tell you why, it's because the BCS is retarded that's why.</div><div><br /></div><div>The BCS is run by a computer and that's the first thing wrong with the system. Does a computer have the ability to distinguish if a team with a big lead puts their second string defense in at the end of a game and allows two late insignificant touchdown? Does a computer know about field conditions and how wind, rain, snow, and fog can keep a normally explosive offense from scoring the points they most assuredly would in better conditions? Does a computer know anything about heated rivalries that have been forged over years of hate-filled competition and how in such rivalries win/loss records are insignificant? The answer to all of these questions is no.</div><div><br /></div><div>The next thing that is wrong with the BCS is that it causes teams and</div><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 180px; height: 218px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjonuLQ4D4ZttsHE8ntyK9f0TR6X8CMktweyhrA0c_WO2W92LPesWfjCzrk9TRF0EA1tuC2iH4NhKiqyCgpasWSZ541Wy1BTVwgTmFojrjRPGrAOxyQyUJP8kmcpG6l3F4MQuL4JxiX7AE/s320/urban.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5265996746298280418" />head coaches to be A-holes in order for better numbers to be added to the complicated math problem that spits out the BCS standings. Urban Myers, head coach of the Florida Gators, called two time out in the last five minutes of their game against Georgia last week. The Gators were up 49-10. Myers was trying to score more points so that a better margin of victory against a quality opponent like Georgia could be added into the computer and help raise his BCS stock. This is the kind of thing that makes coaches kick an onside kick with two minutes left in the game and leading by three touchdowns. This is the reason you see teams beating other teams by seventy points. The BCS is bad for the game. It allows no room for sportsmanship, class, or mercy. We all know that USC is better than Washington State so do we really need to watch the Trojans kick the hell out of the Cougars 69-0 to prove it?<div><br /></div><div>Are the coaches poll or the AP poll a better solution to the BCS? I don't think so. There is too much room for favoritism, speculation, and coaches don't care about what other teams are doing. They are too busy trying to prepare their team for their next opponent to take the time to look over all of college football and make educated votes. I think the AP just waits for the coaches poll to come out and then they reverse the order of a couple of teams and then post their poll. It's all too non-scientific for my taste. Is a playoff system the answer to this BCS mess? I'm not sure that it is. How many teams do you let in? Eight? 16? 32? The playoff system would create just as much controversy as the BCS has over the last few years, if not more.</div><div><br /></div><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 169px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBHAe8nzKhCwUN5Hy-K-9HDyqlW8pKPT2yOekpygWgSiya5wIbkrK65P8leY4u7AegMIU_sufGKIT5ymj1ZVjK-8Hx69iyikjzcBbAAqRuBhVlcVfZ6lEth4-P6t2IsqQhwWIxtoJz1mg/s200/mel.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5265997215499816834" /><div>Here is my solution. The NCAA needs a dude like Mel Kiper Jr. of NFL Draft fame. They need a dude with a computer for a brain and nothing else to do but look at the landscape of college football and decide who should be where in the standings. They need a dude who doesn't care if a team is from the Mountain West of the SEC. They need a dude who can crunch the numbers, look at the matchups, and calculate all of the intangibles to come up with some rankings that actually make some sense. At first look this may seem impossible. How can any one man be asked to do such a thing? But if any of you have watched Kiper Jr. run the NFL Draft show you know that the dude is a complete genius. He has info on who each team should draft and knows about guys best fit for the ninth round that you have never even heard of before. Kiper Jr. is a walking talking computer with a kick ass Eddie Munster hairdo. If Kiper Jr. doesn't want to do the job I'm sure the NCAA can find some guy who has won his office fantasy league for the last ten years and knows stuff about players you or I didn't even know existed.</div><div><br /></div><div>Okay, so when it comes down to it, I don't have a real solution to the BCS mess, but I do know that something must be done before College Football becomes so mired in controversy that nobody can stomach watching the games.</div><div><br /></div><div>Go Utes!</div>Jimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08711443970109424489noreply@blogger.com7