Weekend football predictions

I've never tried my hand at betting on sports because I always think I'm right and I would probably end up losing my money. I remember my first big sports bet: I bet $15 that Kentucky would beat Michigan in the Final Four in 1993. I was wrong and remember how $15 seemed like so much money at the time. I felt like I had lost my life savings. I recall that Michigan won the game by 3 points and I was devastated. Michigan has since been put on probation and vacated the win. I should find Juan Albor and ask for my 15 bones back. With college football starting up, Boyd, me, and some of our friends (Hank Dawg, Rob, and Dyer) will be making our picks on what we think are the top 5 games each week. We will tally the records and someone will get bragging rights. If you think you can do it better, just bring it. You can't hang. The winner gets $15. Or a Coke Zero or something.





Hank: Alabama - because Clemson are choke artists and Bowden is the coach
Rob: Clemson - they come out big early only to falter later in the season
Dyer: Clemson
Taylor: Clemson - Bama has a good defense that may keep things close for a while, but Clemson wins it. This game might showcase two of the best true freshmen in the country in Bowers and Jones.
Boyd: Alabama





H: Illinois - Zook used to be a Gator
R: Missouri - easily
D: Missouri
T: Missouri - I'm with Rob - I don't think it's close.
B: Missouri





H: Cal - Best will put on a show
R: Cal - Cal always does well in non-conference home games under Tedford; Cal thrives on turnovers and MSU give up tons. MSU gives up too many big plays.
D: Michigan State
T: Michigan State - my gut tells me MSU for some reason. This was a tough one to pick. Javon Ringer will have a big game.
B: Michigan State





H: Utah - The Utes will then lose to Vegas or SDSU
R: Michigan - Utah is being overhyped
D: Michigan
T: Michigan - this one will be close, but Michigan will be out to prove that they didn't lose all their talent. Utah is a bit suspect up the middle on D. Wouldn't be shocked at all if the Utes won.
B: Michigan - Michigan has better overall talent.





H: UCLA - No self-respecting Gator fan can pick UT
R: UCLA - The Bruins because of the running game and Norm Chow's debut
D: UCLA
T: Tennesse - The Vols just have more talent and UCLA has been hit by big injuries.
B: Tennessee

Predictions and Thoughts for the 2008 College Football Season

College football starts this week and I can't tell you how geared up I am. I've been soaking up all the sports talk radio I can (most of which is pretty pathetic) and DVRing College Football Live each day (Jesse Palmer still sucks at his job). Here are some thoughts and predictions for this season.


Tim Tebow will not win the Heisman, even though he will be a better player this season. Florida will depend on other players to carry more of the rushing load and Tebow will be spelled some by Cam Newton if Urban thinks he can handle it. Tebow will be better, but will not repeat as the Heisman winner.

The Ohio State University will win at the Colesium on September 13. These teams have the two best defenses in the country, but the Buckeyes are a better team than the Trojans top to bottom. Ohio State is solid at every position and the Trojans lack playmakers in the passing game. Ohio State wins in L.A.

Notre Dame will not be as good as the guys on ESPN seem to think. They all seem to predict about 7-10 wins for ND. It won't happen. The schedule is a bit easier this season, but they will still lose to USC, Pittsburgh, Michigan, and Michigan State, and I'd wager they will lose two of the three games against Boston College, North Carolina, and Purdue. That will leave them 6-6, which probably puts them in position for a BCS bowl game because, hey, they're Notre Dame...

Florida and Auburn will meet in the SEC championship game.

Teams that will be better than people expect: Oklahoma State, Arizona, North Carolina, Oregon State, Northwestern, Ole Miss, Michigan.

Teams that are overrated going into the season (by most experts): Virginia Tech, Colorado, Texas, Kansas, Fresno State, Pittsburgh.

Best player you might never have heard of: Dan Lefevour, Central Michigan. Last year he threw for over 3500 yards with 27 TDs and rushed for over 1100 yards with 19 TDs. Those numbers are insane.

BYU will be undefeated this year. Until November 22.

Clemson will lose to a team they should destroy. I'm not talking about losing to a team like Alabama or Wake Forest - the Tigers will lose to a team that they should crush.

Please get off the Fresno State bandwagon. They won't even sniff the BCS.

Michael Crabtree will solidify himself as the best player in college football.

A team that will make impressive strides this year and might be awesome in 2009: North Carolina. Watch out for them. They lost six games last year by a touchdown or less. They have 15 returning starters (which is an overrated statistic, so forgive me for using it) and have a bunch of young talent from Butch Davis's recruiting efforts. I wouldn't be surprised to see UNC in the ACC championship game against Clemson.

Kansas will again be good, but they will come back to earth a bit. The schedule is much tougher this year: they play South Florida, Oklahoma, Texas, and Texas Tech. They didn't play any of these teams last year. Add to that the fact that they play Missouri, and KU could go from an 11-1 regular season to 7-5 this year.

Oklahoma will go undefeated. So will The Ohio State.

USC's passing offense will be down this year. Sanchez is a good quarterback, but USC has nowhere near the playmakers at receiver that they've had in the past. No Jarrett, Williams, or Smith means that the Trojans will have to rely on the running game, which will be pretty freaking good.

Chase Daniel will absolutely destroy Texas on October 18. Daniel is from Texas and the Longhorns didn't recruit him - and he remembers that. Missouri will beat Texas handily and Daniel will have a huge day.

Illinois will drop off this year. Juice Williams is one of the most overrated quarterbacks in college football, they lost Rashard Mendenhall, and the defense gave up too many yards last year in a conference not exactly known for offense. Plus, teams coached by Ron Zook can't seem to sustain good play from year to year. It's a shame too because the guy can really recruit.

A team outside of the top 15 that could play into the national title picture is Tennessee. They break in a new qb (who is super talented), but their offensive line is awesome and Foster is one of the best tailbacks in the country. The defense is young but talented. If the defense puts things together quickly, watch out for the Vols.

I don't know what to make of Penn State. Anyone else have a prediction?

If the old ball coach can get the South Carolina offense moving, watch out for the Cocks because the D is sick.

Beanie Wells will win the Heisman.

BCS matchups:
Sugar (SEC champ vs. at-large): Florida vs. Wisconsin
Fiesta (Big 12 champ vs. at-large): Missouri vs. Arizona State
Orange (ACC champ vs. at-large): Clemson vs. West Virginia
Rose (Big 11 champ vs. Pac 10 champ): Georgia vs. USC (they'll pass on the weaker Big 11 runner up to, for once, give us the USC-SEC matchup)
BCS Championship (BCS #1 vs. BCS #2): Oklahoma vs. The Ohio State

It is done.

The Ugliest Uniforms in College Football

This morning while I was running on the treadmill at the gym they had the television set on the Olympics on MSNBC, which was showing a women's semifinal basketball game. Australia was in the game and they were wearing some hideous uniforms that looked like some kind of leatard. It was strange to see on the basketball court. Maybe some of the NBA teams should look into the ultra-tight uni for next season. Who doesn't want to see Shaq doing his pimp run down the court in a leatard? I know I do... Anyhow, seeing the pitiful Australian uniforms led me to this: the ugliest uniforms in college football (this is college football that somewhat matters, not FCS or anyone from the Sun Belt). I remembered that Sports Illlustrated did a list of the ten ugliest uniforms in college football, so after I did this list I looked their list up for comparison. I've included it at the bottom. Simply put, my list is better. The general theme seems to be that orange is not good. If this doesn't get you geared up for the season, I don't know what will.


5. Wyoming - Brown and yellow are just beautiful together, as evidenced by the Pokes unis. The yellow stripes down the shoulders are pretty sick too. The combination just evokes thoughts of potty training.




4. Any team wearing all yellow - This doesn't apply to basketball obviously, because the yellow Lakers uniforms are the greatest NBA uniform of all time. They're beautiful. In football, however, yellow makes players look ridiculous. When I see teams in all yellow it makes me think back to the Mo' Money Mo' Problems music video with Puff Daddy and Ma$e sporting their shiny one-color bodysuits and shades while floating in that tunnel. On football teams it looks equally stupid.



3. Clemson - This is tough, because I like Clemson's helmets, and the purple jerseys with the white pants are pretty cool, but the purple jersey with orange helmet and pants is just too much. I used to work with a girl who went to Clemson. Hey Rich - tell her that the Tigers make my ugliest gear list and that I said hello. And that they will probably lose to a team they should slaughter at some point this year. Probably at home. Anyway, purple and orange are a bad combo.





2. Syracuse - If all yellow is bad, all orange is horrible. This is what crossing guards should wear. How awesome would that have been in elementary if your crossing guard showed up sporting all orange gear with some sick blue shoulder stripes intead of the weak little strap they used to wear? I would have loved it. I also included a picture of their blue unis because they are pretty freaking bad too. I would be embarrassed to be a 'Cuse fan right now as much for the gear as for the product on the field. Goodness.

1. Any school from the state of Oregon - Oregon's experiment with the tennis ball helmet has been a miserable failure and they should never do it again - ever. The green helmets are pretty sweet actually, so why break out the puke yellow/green? Plus they have tire treads on their legs and shoulders - tire treads! What is that symbolic of? Getting run over? Running over someone else? Whoever thought that was a good idea... Oregon State on the other hand has uniforms that look like they're sporting a high-riding bra. Nice work. It looks like they have all tried to stretch a sports bra over their shoulder pads and it keeps riding up to reveal their uniform numbers. Plus, it's orange. The Oregon - Oregon State game is the ugliest of the season in college football. And here's a prediction - OSU will win it again this year.


Well, there is the list. I must admit, my wife critiqued this and told me that Wyoming should be at 5, not 4, so she deserves a citation here. Here is the SI list:
10. Utah
9. Notre Dame (the green jersey)
8. Iowa State
7. Clemson (orange jerseys)
6. Air Force
5. Delaware (FCS - who cares?)
4. Syracuse
3. Rhode Island
2. Wyoming
1. Oregon

How is Oregon State not on this list? That alone proves my list superior.

The Ultimate Matchup - Dream Team vs. Redeem Team

"Get me on the court and I’m trouble
Last week messed around and got a triple double"

Those immortal words from Ice Cube, aka O’Shea Jackson, inspired this column.

To preface, my wife is obsessed with the Olympics. Because she is currently recovering from surgery and isn’t supposed to get up and around much, the Olympics have been on about 24/7 at our house. It is tough for me to sit down and write this with the fascinating match for the gold medal in team table tennis currently taking place, but I think I can muster up enough strength to talk about an argument that has been gaining steam recently: Is the Redeem Team as good as the Dream Team?
With the first glance at this fantasy matchup the answer seems obvious - no. The Dream Team was so star-studded that it seems a bit ridiculous to even suggest that the Redeem Team would have a chance. Ten of the twelve players on the Dream Team roster were named among the 50 greatest players of all time by the NBA. Three members of this year’s version are sure-fire hall of famers in Kobe, Kidd, and LeBron, and several others could well be on their way to the same. Even so, the Dream Team clearly has more star power. But how would these teams actually match up? This isn’t meant to be an exhaustive analysis because, frankly, I don’t have the time, but here is what I would expect out of these two teams.

Here are the rosters and the starting lineups used in most games:
Dream Team
Guards - Magic Johnson and Michael Jordan
Forwards - Charles Barkley and Karl Malone
Center - Patrick Ewing
Bench - John Stockton, Clyde Drexeler, Chris Mullin, Scottie Pippen, Larry Bird, Christian Laettner, David Robinson

Redeem Team
Guards - Jason Kidd and Kobe Bryant
Forwards - Carmelo Anthony and LeBron James
Center - Dwight Howard
Bench - Chris Paul, Deron Williams, Michael Redd, Dwyane Wade, Tayshaun Prince, Carlos Boozer, Chris Bosh


Some of these matchups would be awesome to see. Imagine seeing Kobe and Jordan (while in their primes) going at it all game long. Would Scottie Pippen be able to defend LeBron or Dwyane Wade? Would Dwight Howard’s athleticism stand up against Ewing and Robinson? This is how I break it down -

Point Guards: I’ve got to give a slight edge to the Redeem Team here. Seriously. Magic was on his way down (and hadn't played in the league for over a year) and Kidd is currently on the downside of his career, so they are sort of in similar circumstances, so I’d take Magic there. That leaves the combination of Chris Paul and Deron Williams vs. John Stockton. Based on what I saw out of Paul and Deron last season, I’d take them over Stockton. I like the 2 for 1. Now, if this were the Magic Johnson of the 80s I would take him over any and all of the other guys, Stockton included.

Wings: This one is close enough that I’ll call it even. It’s hard not to give the advantage to the originals just because of Jordan, but the combination of Wade, Anthony, LeBron, and Kobe is pretty ridiculous. Both teams have good defenders in MJ, Pippen, Kobe, and Prince (LeBron doesn’t get enough credit for his improving D), and both have scorers in Jordan, Clyde, Wade, Kobe, and James. Even though Jordan is the best of the bunch and was in his prime, I have to call it even because of the overall talent and depth on the Redeem Team.

Post: This is where it gets ugly. The Dream Team absolutely slaughters the 2008 team. Ewing, Malone, Barkley, Robinson, Bird. Wow. Oh, and Laettner. Can't forget Laettner (I would also like to point out that they chose him over Shaquille O'Neal - not that it mattered). All five of the guys mentioned before the Dukie are better than any post player on version 2008. Dwight Howard is a physical freak, but he doesn’t have the skills that the guys on the Dream Team did. Also, can you imagine Carlos Boozer trying to guard Malone or Barkley in the post? What a joke.

Defense: I’ll give this to the Dream Team in spite of Bird, Magic, Mullin, and Laettner, none of whom were defensive stoppers. The rest of the team makes up for them with the Admiral, MJ, Pippen, and Malone, each among the best defenders ever at their positions. The rest of the guys on the team were at least adequate.

Athleticism: The Redeem Team takes this one easily. Magic, Bird, Laettner, Mullin, and Stockton all solidify this one. Kobe, LeBron, Wade, and Howard are all ridiculously athletic.

Intangibles: This one goes to the Dream Team easily. Kobe (3), Prince (1), and Wade (1) are the only players on this year’s team with NBA championship rings. Magic has 5. Bird has 3. Scottie and MJ each have 6. For those of you wondering, Scottie and Mike each have 6 more than Stockton, Malone, Ewing, and Sir Charles combined. I just needed to make that point for all my friends who are Jazz fans. The Dream Team takes this category easily.

The analysis seems to point to the Dream Team winning this matchup. It really wouldn’t be fair just to look at the statistics to make the call. Due to the evolution of international basketball the Redeem Team has to play harder and be more focused to win games whereas the Dream Team could just show up and go through the motions and destroy teams (messed around and got a triple double...). The Dream Team won games by an average of 43.8 points per game! The closest margin of victory was 32. Larry Bird had retired before the Dream Team played and Magic Johnson hadn’t played an NBA game in over a year, but Jordan and Barkley were both coming into their primes. Version 2008 is younger, more athletic, and hungry. The team was assembled in a systematic fashion to be able to win games while playing an “international style.” These guys want to win and they seem to enjoy the recent comparisons to the originals. So, who would win in a 7 game series? I would be shocked if the Redeem Team could win more than one game in a seven game series. In a single elimination game? I would bet on the 1992 team, but I wouldn’t completely put it past the new guys.

My response

My only real excuses are that my wife just had eye surgery (and when I say eye surgery, I mean she had it removed and an implant put in, so this isn't your run-of-the-mill procedure, not to mention that our insurance wouldn't cover it...) and has been laid up for a while, which means that I have been the primary mom and dad; I have also been working two jobs and completing finals week. That said, your challenge has been accepted and I am prepared to bring the business. And the site doesn't normally suck. It's normally awesome.

The Greatest Franchise in Sports

Which franchise is the greatest in all of sports? Some teams come to mind off the top: Lakers, Celtics, Packers, 49ers, Cowboys, Patriots, Yankees, Cardinals, etc. If you include college sports, you have Kentucky, UCLA, Duke, and North Carolina basketball or Notre Dame, Alabama, USC or Michigan football. Don't forget about the Utah Jazz. Just playin'...
In thinking about the best franchises in sports, what is the criteria? Championships? Hall of famers? Winning percentage? Consistency? I figure that all of these should be considered when calling a team the best franchise of all time. In keeping only with professional sports, it seems to me that you can narrow it down to the Boston Celtics, Los Angeles Lakers, and New York Yankees. I'll make a quick case for each franchise and let you decide. Also, if you think I'm missing someone, you're wrong, but tell me anyway.


Boston Celtics
The Celtics have won more NBA championships than any other team (17), including one in 2008. Boston has won 17 championships in 62 years, a rate of 27%! The Celtics won 8 straight titles between 1959-1966, also an NBA record (and an American professional sports record, if I'm not mistaken). Red Auerbach coached 9 NBA championship teams, a record he shares with Philip Jackson (who won 3 with the Lakers). The Celtics have won at least one NBA championship in every decade since their existence other than the 1990s. The Celtics have won 17 of the 20 NBA Finals they've been a part of, an insane .850 winning percentage. Ridiculous. There are 33 members of the Celtics organization in the hall of fame, 15 of them players, including Larry Bird, Bob Cousy, John Havlicek, and Bill Russell. Ten times a member of the Celtics has been named league MVP.


Los Angeles Lakers
The Lakers have the most wins of any team in NBA history (2,905), the highest winning percentage of any NBA franchise(61.5%), the most NBA Finals appearances (29), and the second most NBA championships (14). The Lakers have won 14 championships in 64 years, a rate of 22%. The Lakers have the longest win-streak in NBA history with 33 straight wins in 1971-1972. Since their existence, the Lakers have missed the playoffs only five times. The Lakers have 14 players in the hall of fame, including Elgin Baylor, Magic Johnson, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, the NBA logo and Wilt Chamberlain. They also have 4 coaches in the hall of fame. When the NBA named the top 50 players of all time, 8 of them played most of their careers for the Lakers. Eight times the league MVP played for the Lakers. The Lakers have been coached by two of the supposed greatest coaches of all-time: Pat Riley and Phil Jackson.


New York Yankees
The Yankees have 26 World Series titles and 39 American League pennants. The Yankees have won at least one title in every decade but the 1980s since 1923. The Yankees have won 26 World Series' of the 101 played, a rate of 26%. Between 1927 and 1953 the Yankees won 18 world championships. The Yankees are the only team in baseball history to win 5 World Series titles in a row (1949-1953). In 1998 the Yankees went 125-50 (including playoffs), a major league record for wins and winning percentage in a season. The Yankees are the only team in Major League Baseball to have a player in the hall of fame at every position. The Yankees have 22 players in the hall of fame, including Joe DiMaggio, Lou Gehrig, Mickey Mantle, Babe Ruth, and Whitey Ford. A Yankee has won the AL MVP 22 times along with 5 Cy Young award winners.

Who will win this year's Heisman Trophy?

Let the Heisman hype begin! I watched College Football Live last week and they had The Bachelor, Jesse Palmer, give his top 5 Heisman trophy candidates. I think Palmer is generally a pompous windbag and he only has his gig because he was on a "reality" television show, but it got me on the Heisman bandwagon. People always complain about Heisman hype beginning too early, but I'm going to call BS on that. It can never begin too early (watch out for Jake Heaps in 2012). So here is how I see the final standings of the Heisman trophy for the upcoming season - this is not a list of the ten best players in college football, but a list of where they will finish in the Heisman balloting. Let me know if you think I'm off base, and I know many of you will...

The elite:

1. Chris Wells, RB, The Ohio State
2007 Stats: 1609 rush. yds, 15 TD, 5.9 ypc.
Wells could be the best player in college football. As you can see, he put up some seriously impressive numbers last year while playing with a nagging ankle injury. He is healthy and will likely carry more of the load this season, so his numbers should jump. Wells is powerful and very decisive. He hits the hole quickly and has the power to make people miss. The important thing about Wells (and this hurt Darren McFadden last year) is that he plays big in big games. Look at his stats from The Ohio State's biggest games last year: vs. Wisconsin (173 yds, 3 TDs), Michigan (230 yds, 2 TDs), and vs. LSU (149 yds, 1 TD). It may hurt Wells that he doesn't really do much other than run the ball - he won't put up all-purpose yards like Maclin or Harvin, but he also doesn't have an offensive teammate to take some of the spotlight. That said, Beanie Wells will put up monstrous numbers this year and bring The Ohio State University another Heisman.

2. Tim Tebow, QB, Florida
2007 Stats: 3286 pass. yds, 32 TD, 6 Int, 66.9 comp%; 895 rush. yds, 23 TD.
Anyone who says Tebow is underrated should be diagnosed with DSM-IV-TR code 318.1 for having severe mental retardation. I've actually heard people say that Tebow is overhyped and isn't a great passer. How does a 66.9 completion percentage sound to you? How about 3,286 yards and 32 passing TDs? Tebow was #2 in the country in passing efficiency last season. He's not just a running QB. Tebow is a stud, but he won't win back-to-back Heisman's for a few reasons: Wells will have a huge year, Tebow will not run the ball as much this year, Percy Harvin will get some of Tebow's votes, and Urban Meyer plans to platoon Tebow with another quarterback at times in order to keep Tebow fresh. Tebow will be just as good this year, but his stats won't be. (I know, please use the word Tebow less. Thank you.)

3. Graham Harrell, QB, Texas Tech
2007 Stats: 5705 pass. yds, 48 TD, 14 Int, 71.8 comp%.
Harrell is a stud quarterback. He averaged 438 yards passing per game. Texas Tech always has quarterbacks who put up huge numbers, and yes, it is the system, but Harrell is really good. His stat line last year is probably better than I could do on NCAA 09. Harrell has a similar problem/benefit to that of Daniel and Tebow - Michael Crabtree is the best player on the Texas Tech team and he will certainly get some of the votes that would otherwise go to Harrell. Crabtree is ridiculous, and if Harrell is smart, which he is, he'll look his way constantly. Harrell will put up huge numbers this year with most of his offense returning and an o-line that is underrated. Harrell will lose votes because of Crabtree and the perception that he is a system quarterback, a la Colt Brennan.

4. Knowshon Moreno, RB, Georgia
2007 Stats: 1334 rush. yds, 14 TD, 5.4 ypc; 253 rec. yds.
Moreno seems to be the sexy pick this year. I like Moreno, but I don't see him winning the Heisman. Georgia goes up against some awesome defenses this year and Mike Bobo has said that he plans to open up the offense and allow Matthew Stafford to throw the ball more this season. Bobo has also installed some new packages for Caleb King, Moreno's backup, so that Moreno will not have to carry too heavy a load. All these factors lead me to believe that Moreno will not win the Heisman, but will finish near the top. Moreno put up impressive numbers last year, and he didn't start until game four (but he did get plenty of carries in the first three games). Moreno will put up big numbers and get some Heisman love, but it won't help that Chris Wells will put up huge numbers for another high-profile team.

5. Chase Daniel, QB, Missouri
2007 Stats: 4306 pass yds, 33 TD, 11 Int, 68.2 comp%; 218 rush. yds, 4 TD.
It still feels weird to see Missouri football as relevant. Daniel is a stud. He is similar to Wells in that he usually plays big in big games. Look at these numbers: vs. Illinois (359 yds, 3 TD), vs. Oklahoma (361 yds 1TD), and vs. Kansas (361 yds, 3 TD). Daniel plays in an offense that will allow him to put up huge numbers, but his running-mate Jeremy Maclin might take some of his votes. Daniel is impressive, but I'm even questioning putting him here over Crabtree.

Five who could end up in New York City

6. Michael Crabtree, WR, Texas Tech

2007 Stats: 134 rec., 1962 rec. yds, 22 TD.

I think Crabtree is probably the best player in college football. His stats last season were ridiculous. Not to mention the fact that he was a freshman. Wow. Crabtree has everything - great hands, good speed, and ideal size. Watch a Crabtree highlight reel and see how many times he just goes up and pulls the ball down away from the defender. If he puts up similar numbers to last year, watch out.

7. Percy Harvin, WR, Florida
2007 Stats: 858 rec. yds, 4 TD; 764 rush yds, 6 TD.
If Florida gets Harvin the ball more, he'll put up bigger numbers. Urban Meyer uses Harvin in a lot of ways, but he should be getting more touches in the passing game. I don't know that there is a more dynamic receiver in college football.

8. Jeremy Maclin, WR, Missouri -

2007 Stats: 1055 rec. yds, 9 TD; 375 rush. yds, 4 TD; 24.1 yd ave on kick returns, 1 TD.
Maclin is amazingly fast and has great all-purpose numbers, but now teams know who he is and will be keying on him. He will still put up big numbers and could creep up this list.

9. Pat White, QB, West Virginia -
2007 Stats: 1724 pass. yds, 14 TD, 4 Int, 66.7 comp%; 1335 rush. yds, 14 TD.
If it weren't for Tebow, White would get more hype as a dual-threat QB. White needs to improve a lot as a passer (or at least throw the ball more) to end up higher on this list.

10. James Laurinaitis, LB, The Ohio State -

2007 Stats: 121 tackles, 8.5 TFL, 5 sacks, 2 Int.

Defensive players don't win the Heisman unless they return punts or kickoffs, so Animal's son won't win the award, but he should be in the discussion.

Six guys who could make some noise but probably won't finish in the top 5:

Joe McKnight, RB, USC

Zac Robinson, QB, Oklahoma State

Max Hall, QB, BYU

Noel Devine, RB, West Virginia

George Selvie, DE, South Florida

Dan LeFevour, QB, Central Michigan

Manny Ramirez is a Dodger!!

First off, if you haven’t read PlayBoyd’s thoughts on Ron Artest, you should—it’s a great read. I had a great day yesterday. I don’t know if any news could have gotten me more frisky than when my boy Dyer called me. I answered and he said, “Are you excited that Manny is a Dodger?” I hadn’t heard and I almost ran my car into the cow pasture I happened to be driving by. This was the best sports news I’ve had in a while. Even though they might be the most frustrating team in baseball, I have always been a Dodgers fan. They have the money to spend big, but they don’t. And if they ever do spend big they do it on players who aren’t worth the money or who get injured within a month of coming to the team (i.e., Jason Schmidt). But now a ray of hope has shown upon Dodger nation in the form of a dreadlocked Man-Ram.

I love Manny. Love him. He can probably compete with Artest in the crazy as hell department, but I love that too. Finally the Dodgers are interesting again. Manny slaps teammates (just wait until he gets with Jeff Kent), plays as cutoff man even though he’s in left field, rolls over the ball to get in better position to make a throw, talks on his cell during pitching changes, knocks down 62-year-old men, holds up the game to go into the green monster to take a leak, and high fives fans while he’s making a play. Manny has been known to wear sunglasses with a built in MP3 player while playing left. Some of Manny’s antics are heartwarming in a Bad News Bears kind of way - and now he’s a Dodger. Terrell Owens once said, “I love me some me.” Well, I love me some Manny.

During a rehab stint a few years ago Manny lost his $15,000 diamond earring while sliding into third base. The grounds crew had to comb the infield looking for it. Man-Ram put a “Manny Ramirez autographed BBQ grill” up for sale on ebay. And just recently, during a game with the Anaheim Angels, Manny was seen holding up a sign that said, “I’m going to Green Bay for Favre straight up.” Even in my jubilation of seeing Man-Ram in a Dodgers uniform I have to hear about Brett. The point is, Manny is nothing if not entertaining.

I don’t know that Manny will be a savior or if the Dodgers will have Manny for more than this year, but they aren’t paying his contract and Man-Ram will be a free agent after this season, so he’ll be looking to put up huge numbers to earn a fat new deal. The best part about this is the Dodgers can now stop parading Andruw Jones out to the plate when he’s hitting .163 with 2 homers (another bad $ spending move by LA). Manny will have a big finish this year, help LA make the playoffs and become relevant, only to sign a fat contract with the Yankees or Mets or somebody else. The Dodgers can then put down big money on a player who will get hurt or never live up to the hype. Things will go back to normal soon enough, but for now I’m going to enjoy Manny disappearing from left field at Dodger stadium during pitching changes so he can pee. Manny was quoted on ESPN recently as saying “The Red Sox don’t deserve a player like me.” Amen, Man-Ram. Amen.

The Best Dunkers in the NBA

I love basketball. I have never been particularly athletic—I’ve always had to bust my butt to be any good at all. Because of this, I have always appreciated the beauty of a great dunk. Growing up I played dunk-ball a lot to try and pacify my feelings of physical inadequacy, but even then my ferocious dunks weren’t necessarily impressive (even though I thought I was pretty freaking awesome at the time). On the flipside, I have been dunked on several times, including once by Steve Young (yes, that Steve Young). I’ve got to admit it was pretty awesome. I was once dunked on so hard that I fell backward right into a wall about ten feet behind the tin. It was pretty embarrassing. I did actually dunk a ten foot hoop once–it was a follow-up dunk, but still, I put it down. I immediately called timeout so I could attempt to dunk again and failed miserably multiple times. Chalk the successful tip dunk up to adrenaline.
For some reason I felt it necessary to give that introduction. So, without further ado, here are the top five in-game dunkers in the NBA today with a bunch of awesome links (there are a bunch and some of the clips are long, but they're worth watching - some of the music is annoying, so you may want to hit mute). Keep in mind this is a list of current players only and does not include dunk contest dunks, but in-game situations only.

1. Vince Carter - Vince is the best dunker in NBA history. Period. His combination of acrobatics, power, and hangtime is stupid.Vince was amazing at UNC and took the NBA by storm - his highlights were on sportscenter every night. When playing for team USA the guy jumped over a 7-foot-2 guy for heaven’s sake! The thing that is so amazing about Vince is that he makes it look so easy—it just appears that he is messing around (and sometimes he is—he did quit on his team, after all). Even though many people don’t like him, he has to be the top dunker in the NBA. He’d be number one on my all-time list too.

2. Kobe Bryant - It’s pretty clear that I don’t always like Kobe, but the guy can throw it down like a champ.Kobe gets the nod at #2 because he dunks on everybody and has put down some of the most acrobatic dunks in NBA history. Sometimes it looks like Bryant decides what to do after he’s at the peak of his jump. One of the best dunks I have ever seen was when the Lakers were playing an exhibition game in Vegas a couple years ago and he absolutely bagged Ben Wallace. It was ridiculous. I jumped out of my seat like I had just won the lottery. Kobe has thrown down on some of the biggest guys in the league—his dunks on Yao (#2 on the clip) and Dwight Howard are among the best I've ever seen.

3. LeBron James - This guy is a freak. Has an NBA player ever been this athletically superior to everyone else?For a comparison as to how ridiculous he is, Karl Malone was 6' 9 and about 260 in his prime. Malone was generally considered to be in the best shape (or at least had the best physique) of anyone in the league. LeBron has similar measurables (6' 8, 245) at age 23. Adding LeBron’s athleticism to a frame like that is just unfair. Watch how he takes contact and still flushes with two hands. Ridiculous. I once heard Danny Ainge say that LeBron could show up to an NFL camp and make the team based solely on his athletic abilities. That's some high praise. LeBron's dunk on KG in the playoffs this year was amazing. LeBron dunks with power, but he takes the 3 spot here because I don't think he is as creative/flashy as Kobe.

4. Jason Richardson - If this list were for the best dunkers in a non-game situation Richardson might give Vince a run for the top spot.His off the glass under the leg dunk in the dunk contest was amazing. It actually gave me a rager (I need to credit PlayBoyd on the use of that term). Richardson makes it look pretty on breakaways but he's not as powerful as the guys ahead of him on this list.

5. Josh Smith - I don’t know that anyone in the NBA is more fun to watch than Smith.He can jump out of the gym, so every game you come away with a highlight dunk or a crazy rejection. He has made the Hawks fun to watch for the first time since Dominique left.

Just missed the cut (in no particular order): Dwight Howard, Andre Iguodala, Ricky Davis, Tyrus Thomas, Amare Stoudemire, Travis Outlaw

Quick Update -

Sorry about the little hiatus - Boyd became a daddy and I had some family medical issues to tend to over the past week and we didn't get a chance to get anything posted here, but we're back to the grind.
Someone commented that they are wondering where game two of the fantasy GM series is. I would like to know that also. I know that Boyd has run 4 of the games but he has yet to post the results. Boyd - anytime now, anytime.
As far as who will be getting the "we hate you" jockstrap, it appears that we have a tie - Bill Belichek and Barry Bonds tied for the most hated sports figure, each getting 20% of the vote. We will have to figure out a tie-breaker method or something to get a clear winner.
Speaking of hating people, I pretty much agree with what PlayBoyd wrote the other day about Brett Favre. I don't know that I have been so sick of hearing about one athlete in my entire life. Except for maybe Barry Bonds.
Well, that's the update for now. We will be getting some things up (that's what she said) here shortly, so keep coming back.

Impact Freshmen in College Football 2008

I was talking to a buddy of mine the other day and he was asking me who I thought would be this years Knowshon Moreno, i.e., who would be a breakout first-year player this season. He said that he thinks Moreno was the biggest breakout star last year. I disagreed, saying that I would go with Michael Crabtree but that Sam Bradford should be in the discussion too. He told me he’d be interested in the discussion, so here goes: my ideas as to who are the most likely first-year breakout stars of the 2008 college football season. I also decided to drop some ideas about the players I think will make huge strides in production from last year to this year.

Six freshmen who will make an impact (I looked almost exclusively at BCS schools):

Arthur Brown, LB, Miami – Brown was a big recruiting coup for the Canes. He had offers from every school in the country and most thought he would end up at LSU or USC. Brown will be a starter sooner rather than later. He arrived early for spring ball and has apparently been quite impressive (he led the team in tackles in the spring game, along with a pick and a forced fumble). He is super fast, can cover, and is a sure tackler. He fills gaps very quickly. In his highlight reels he is constantly in the backfield. He’ll be a force immediately. His brother (Bryce) is a top RB recruit who will join him at Miami next year.

Caleb King, RB, Georgia – King has been so good in practice that coaches have implemented new offensive sets in order to get King on the field with Knowshon Moreno. Offensive coordinator Mike Bobo has said that he wants at least 35 carries per game between Moreno and King. Word is that they want to use the duo the way Auburn used Cadillac Williams and Ronnie Brown. King is more of a power back than Moreno, but he is shifty as well.

Da’Quan Bowers, DE, Clemson – I read once that Bowers was the best defensive line recruit in the past five years. That’s pretty impressive stuff. He arrived early and began practicing with the Tigers in the spring. He and Ricky Sapp could develop into one of the best DE combinations in the country. Reports say that Bowers has gotten to this point (he was rated the top HS player in the country by some recruiting services) off of sheer athletic ability, so imagine what he can do as he gets proper instruction. Either way, Bowers is high energy and too good to keep off the field.

Darrell Scott, RB, Colorado – Scott rushed for over 3,000 yards and 45 touchdowns his junior season. Those numbers are crazy, especially in California where the competition is pretty stout. He’s a powerful runner with top-end speed (he ran a 4.32 40-yard dash at the scout combine last year). Most people thought Texas looked good to sign Scott, but Colorado nabbed him. Of course it didn’t hurt that Josh Smith, a Colorado WR, is Scott’s uncle. Scott has good hands and it will be interesting to see how Colorado gets him involved in the passing game.

Julio Jones, WR, Alabama – at 6-4 210, Jones has prototypical size for a wideout. If you’ve seen his highlight film, you know that he catches everything that comes his way and is great after the catch. Scouts Inc. compares Jones to a high school version of Michael Irvin, but “more explosive and faster.” His three-year high school stats are: 3,287 receiving yards and 52 total touchdowns. That’s great production on that level and he should pay immediate dividends for Nick Saban.

Patrick Johnson, CB, LSU – The only “weak” link on the LSU defense, if you can call it weak, is cornerback play. Because of this, Johnson will have the chance to come in and play immediately. At 6-1 he’ll be able to match up with some of the SEC’s bigger receivers. Johnson is very fast and plays physical. He also played running back in high school and Les Miles has flirted with the idea of using Johnson as a return man also. Johnson originally committed to Miami, but LSU swooped in and landed the nation’s top-rated corner.

Six more to keep an eye on: Marcus Forston, DT, Miami; Omar Hunter, DT, Florida; A.J. Green, WR, Georgia; Nigel Bradham, LB, Florida State; Kavario Middleton, TE, Washington; Simi Kuli, DE, Oregon State.

Six players who will make the jump from solid to standout:

Everson Griffen, DE, USC – Griffen is crazy good. I really think that by the end of the season he might be the best player on USC’s defense other than Maualuga. Griffen has that kind of potential. He played end and running back in high school, so he has great speed for a defensive lineman. As loaded as USC was on the d-line last year, they couldn’t keep Griffen off the field. He had 5.5 sacks last season as he was named freshman All-America as a reserve. He’s going to explode this year.

Allen Bailey, DE, Miami – Bailey is as athletic a defensive end as you will find in college football. He was moved to end from linebacker and will bring tremendous speed to the Miami defense. Bailey plays with aggression and is a punishing tackler. As he continues to adjust to playing with his hand on the ground, expect him to develop into one of the best ends in the country.

Carlos Dunlap, DE, Florida – While I don’t think he is as good as Griffen, Dunlap should have a breakout season. The Gators need someone to replace the production of Derrick Harvey on the edge and Carlos appears to be capable. A part of Urban’s insane defensive line recruiting effort two years ago, Dunlap appears to be the only one of the bunch truly ready to contribute. This is evidenced by the fact that he had 4 sacks in the spring game.

Joe McKnight, RB, USC – McKnight was rated as the #1 running back in his high school class and started to show flashes of brilliance toward the end of last season. Steve Sarkesian has said that he wants to use McKnight similarly to the way Norm Chow utilized Reggie Bush—get him the ball often and however you can. McKnight will begin the season as the second string running back but will get plenty of touches. He is also likely to return punts.

Omar Bolden, CB, Arizona State – Bolden is fast and has great instincts. He started last year as a true freshman and could be one of the ten or fifteen best corners in the nation by the time the season is over. Dennis Erickson says that Bolden is the most intense player on the team, a good quality to have in a cover corner. Bolden will develop into a shutdown corner this season.

Brian Price, DT, UCLA – Price missed the beginning of last season due to NCAA clearinghouse issues, but was solid when he saw the field. He had 7 tackles for loss in 5 starts. Defensive coordinator DeWayne Walker says that Price has been dominant in the spring and he is expected to develop into an All-American. Price has surprising quickness for a defensive tackle – it almost seems like you’re watching an outside linebacker.

Six more to keep an eye on: Martez Wilson, LB, Illinois; Marvin Austin, DT, North Carolina; Kodi Burns, Auburn; Deunta Williams, S, North Carolina; Jimmy Clausen, QB, Notre Dame, Donovan Warren, CB, Michigan.

Whom in Sports Do You Hate the Most?

I'm in a bit of a foul mood today - I've been stressed out lately, I've spent all day in a conference where the AC was broken, at said conference I sat behind a hefty lady in a thong, and Brett Favre is all they seem to want to talk about on the radio. It gets old. Seriously, do we have to go through the "will he retire" or "will he play" thing with Brett every year? Please Brett, just pull on your skin-tight Wranglers and hop on your John Deere to mow your giant lawn without having to alert the press. I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired of it. I have always liked and respected Favre, but I'm just done with his need to be the focus of attention.

Speaking of attention, the athletes I like the least are generally the ones who do whatever they can to get attention. A-Rod opting out of his contract during the World Series. Favre - just go away. Terrell Owens doing sit-ups in his driveway and calling Jeff Garcia gay. Great. Then you have the guys who are just wangers. Randy Moss and the meter maid. Barry Bonds and his giant head. The least you could do when you break Hank Aaron's record is hug your son, Barry. Did you see his son go up to him for a hug at home plate during one of the biggest moments in baseball history only to get snubbed? An A-hole first and a dad second. Those are just some obvious ones. Some guys are pricks on a smaller scale. You know who is a total schmuck? Philip Rivers (see also Boyd's previous mention of those who go by Philip instead of Phil; case in point). So, this led to a conversation between Boyd and me. Whom in sports do we hate the most? We came up with some selections and decided to take a poll: Whom do you hate the most? We decided to keep this within the three major sports: baseball, football, and hoops. We don't do hockey on this page. I'm listing some of the obvious ones from each sport, but feel free to chime in with comments under this post if you think we've left someone off. We want write-in candidates because, frankly, there are so many to choose from.

In the interest of making this poll as entertaining as possible, Boyd and I will attempt to contact the agent of the winner to let them know that their client is the champion of our poll in a colorful and entertaining way (maybe along the lines of a 1980s Ric Flair promo. Whooooo!). That or we'll send them a jockstrap with our thoughts on it. Whether we receive a reply or some automated no-reply message (I'm guessing we won't get a response, considering this is a poll for the biggest schmuck in sports) we will publish it here. Just for entertainment purposes. So vote!

College Football’s Best Games - 2008

In all my excitement for the upcoming season (and the fact that NCAA Football 09 comes out today) and my being so sick and freaking tired of the Brett Favre saga (thank you Boyd for adding to that), I’ve been looking at schedules to see what the best games of the college football season should be. These are the games I am most looking forward to this year and that will likely play some kind of role in determining who will be in the BCS games at the end of the year. If you think I’ve left some out (yes, I left Ohio State-Michigan and Texas-Oklahoma out on purpose), let me know why.

Ohio State at USC (September 13)
This is the most intriguing matchup of the season. The winner of this game has a great chance to get to the title game because the Pac 10 and Big 10 are both a bit weak this year. The Ohio State and USC may have the two best defenses in the country. How will OSU’s line hold up against USC’s defensive pressure? Will either team be able to throw the ball? Is the best linebacker in the game Laurinaitis, Maualuga, or Cushing? Can Wells put up big yards against Pete Carroll’s vaunted defense? If OSU can pull this off, get used to the idea of seeing the Buckeyes getting a third opportunity to make a mockery of the BCS title game. Just because OSU was beaten soundly in the past two title games doesn’t mean they don’t have the talent to win in the Coliseum—they do and they will.

Georgia at Arizona State (Septemer 20)
UGA hasn’t traveled west of the Mississippi for a road game in about 20 years and Arizona State didn’t play anyone out of conference last year, so this one is a bit unexpected. Everyone is on Georgia’s, um, jockstrap this year. They are #1 in most of the polls I’ve seen, but they have what has to be the toughest schedule in the nation. Winning on the road at Arizona State could jumpstart them to an amazing run. Georgia’s defensive line should really disrupt the ASU offense because their O-line sucks. Georgia will probably win this game and it should be a fun one to watch.

Auburn at West Virginia (October 23)
This is a tough home game for West Virginia. The Mountaineers struggle against teams with great speed on defense (i.e., South Florida and Pittsburgh), so Auburn will be tough. This game will be dangerous for WV because Auburn will have had half the season to fine-tune their new spread offense. If Auburn has figured out how to run the offense effectively by this point West Virginia might go down. I can't stress this enough: watch West Virginia this year. Noel Devine is amazing.

Illinois vs. Missouri (August 30)
Last year’s game was super exciting (40-34 Mizzou) and no one expected these teams to end up with a combined 20-5 regular season record. This year everyone will be expecting big things from both teams. Missouri will be out to prove that they should have been in a BCS bowl last year by beating the team who got trounced in the Rose Bowl. Illinois has great speed on defense and may prove to be a difficult test for Chase Daniel and company. Two of the best sophomore receivers in the country will be on display in this game. A win here could propel both teams to big seasons.

Kansas at South Florida (September 12)
Two teams that practically came out of nowhere last year to impact the national scene play in this interesting non-conference game. But is it really interesting? Do people generally give a crap about either of these teams? Who would have thought this game would mean anything before last season? Kansas has always sucked and USF has never done much, but both teams were ranked #2 at one point last year. If nothing else, you’ve got to love Mangino. He seriously looks like a walrus minus the tusks, and you can find him cussing people out on youtube. College football at its best.

BYU at Utah (November 22)
These are the two best non-BCS teams in the country bar none, and I don’t want to hear that crap about Fresno State. Utah vs. BYU has been as exciting as any rivalry in recent years. The past three games have been classics, with Utah winning in OT, BYU winning on an amazing last play, and BYU converting a 4^th and 18 with about a minute left to win last year. BYU plays Washington and UCLA out of conference and Utah plays Michigan (Utah will pull off that upset!) and Oregon State. It is conceivable that one (or even both) of these teams could be undefeated going into this game, and there is nothing that these rivals would like more than to keep the other out of a BCS game.

LSU-Florida-Georgia
These teams could knock each other out of contention for the national championship. Of course, if you’re in the SEC you can apparently lose 2 games and still get into the BCS title game. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Florida lost to LSU and Georgia last year, while UGA-LSU didn’t happen. It’s a shame because they may have been the two best teams in the country (Ohio State certainly wasn’t one of them).

Georgia at LSU (October 25)
This game should have happened last year. When Georgia fully got it together toward the end of the season they seemed almost unbeatable. These teams finished 1-2 in the polls last year. Georgia appears to be the more complete team, but if LSU gets good quarterback play the talent level is crazy.

Georgia vs. Florida (November 1)
The world’s largest outdoor Cocktail Party. What a great name for the game. If I could go to any game I want to this season, this is the one. Urban Meyer will probably have his guys pissing on Georgia logos for weeks before the game after what happened after Georgia’s first score last year. Urban can motivate as well as any coach in college football, so the Dawgs better be ready.

LSU at Florida (October 11)
Another revenge game for the Gators. LSU didn’t lead in last year’s game until just over a minute left to play. Florida should have won and they know it. How will Urban fire his guys up this time? LSU toilet paper? Miles and Meyer are two of the most outspoken coaches in college football. Miles saying that USC has it tough because they have to play such juggernauts as Stanford is classic.

Why I Love/Hate Kobe Bryant

I grew up a Lakers fan. My dad was a Lakers fan, and it was passed on to me. I watched the great Lakers teams of the 80s. Growing up I had posters of Magic, Worthy, Scott, Cooper, etc., in my bedroom. When I played ball I even used to wear socks to my knee because of my love for Cooper and a wrist band at my elbow in honor of Scott (though I didn’t go so far as to sport the goggles of Worthy and Jabbar). I even remember Jeff Lamp. Nothing made me happier than watching L.A. beat the Celtics, Pistons, or Jazz. I stayed true through the mostly down years of the 90s. I suffered through the years of Jones, Threatt, Campbell, Ceballos and Peeler, while watching teams like Seattle and Portland get to The Finals. It sucked. Then things changed—the Lakers got Shaq and Kobe. They won titles and were again the glamour franchise in the NBA. Things were back to normal, things were good—until one man made me question my fandom. Kobe Bryant.

I hate Kobe Bryant. Not in the sense that I hate him, but in the sense that I hate certain TV or book characters; they aren’t real, so I can hate them. Bryant isn’t real to me. Kobe has single-handedly changed my love for the Los Angeles Lakers, and it has nothing to do with the whole Colorado rape case thing (it is amazing that he bought his wife a 4-million-dollar ring to help ease the pain). I used to be die-hard about being a Lakers fan, and now I can’t even cheer for them. I don’t like Gasol, Vujabic, Radmonovic, Walton, or anyone else on the team. But it all goes back to Kobe.

I try to like KB8/KB24, but I just can’t do it. I respect his ridiculous skills—I think he’s clearly the best player in the NBA (even though PlayBoyd would argue with me), but he has always carried himself like he was the best player in the league even before he accomplished anything in the NBA. He has this annoying sense of entitlement. He always looks so smug. In the 1998 All-Star game (Michael Jordan’s last before his Wizards comeback) Kobe busted his butt to outplay MJ in what seemed like an effort to symbolize a “passing of the torch.” Come on. Not that playing hard against MJ or in an All-Star game is inherently wrong, but it irritated me. Kobe didn’t even deserve to be in the All-Star game that year; he only started one game that season. But he had something to prove. There he was, a bench player, trying to one-up MJ, because it’s all about Kobe.

At times I like Kobe. In the 1997 playoffs the Lakers lost to the Jazz. In a deciding game 5, Kobe hoisted four air-balls in the closing minutes of the game. He was taunted mercilessly by Jazz fans. He doubled his scoring average the next year, citing the humiliation in Utah as part of his motivation. He has since become the best clutch performer in the league. The 2002 All-Star game was in Philadelphia, Kobe’s “hometown.” Philly fans don’t like that Kobe claims it as his hometown and they booed him incessantly throughout the game. Kobe responded by going for 31-5-5 in 30 minutes and won the MVP award. It made me want to love him again, the way that he responded to criticism and the hostile crowd.

My dislike reemerged in the 2004 NBA Finals when the Lakers lost to the Pistons. In the series Kobe took 29 more shots than Shaq, while Shaq shot 63% from the field to Kobe’s 38%. Shaq averaged 4 points more per game than Kobe on 6 less shots per game. Nice work Kobe. Way to take the best player on the court out of the game. That crap was hard to watch as a Lakers fan. That offseason he used the Clippers (what up Clipper fan) offering him a contract as leverage to run Phil and Shaq out of town. It was exactly what Kobe wanted. The Lakers became Kobe’s team and he was out to prove his greatness. At times he did—getting Dwight Howard up close and personal, averaging over 35 ppg one year, 43 ppg in one month, and scoring 81 points in a game. Those numbers are amazing. He became the first player in NBA history to outscore an opposing team through 3 quarters—Kobe 62, Dallas 61. Wilt Chamberlain thinks that’s stupid. But with Kobe scoring at a ridiculous clip the Lakers didn’t win.

Speaking of playoffs, in typical Kobe fashion, proving his point (or greatness) has always been more important than winning. In a 2004 playoff series against the Kings he decided not to shoot after being criticized for shooting too much. L.A. lost that game. In the 2006 playoffs against the Suns, Kobe decided he would only shoot the ball 3 times in the second half, even with the Suns up by 15 at halftime. Why? To prove that his teammates are not reliable and that they need Kobe to drop 35 to have a chance of winning? Way to put the team first Kobe. Point taken—you are more important than winning. You truly are MJ’s heir apparent. . .

Have you ever watched Kobe give credit to others? It looks so unnatural to him. When asked about another player he seems to get this look on his face (probably wondering how Jordan would answer the question) like, “why aren’t we talking about me?” Kobe seems to overemphasize injuries. Whenever he remotely twists his ankle, watch him hobble up and down the court—especially after a miss—as if he were running on a wooden leg. But when he has the ball he’s surprisingly fluid, breaking people’s ankles and throwing down monster dunks. He seems to over-dramatize every gesture. It’s like he scans his brain to decide what Jordan would do (likely trying to remember what he read in The Jordan Rules), and then he tries to perform the action as naturally as possible. Oh, but he also plays the tough guy. When an opponent gets physical with him he hits a shot and then gives that menacing Kobe Bryant stare to the other team. Okay, tough guy. We get it. Your will to win is unmatched. Or, that is, your will to be the best. Individually, at least.

People keep saying: “Kobe has grown up this year. He’s learning to trust his teammates, and he gets them more involved.” Awesome. Let’s give him an effin’ cookie. It’s about time Kobe. You’ve been in the league for 12 years; we’re all really impressed that you finally put it together. We’re all patting you on the back that it took you forever to understand the common fundamentals of basketball 101—it’s a team game.

This year during the Finals the media kept mentioning that Kobe suffered through the last few years of futility and is now seeing it pay off. How about Paul Pierce? He really suffered through futile years with his franchise. Did he piss and moan about his supporting cast being terrible? Did he decide to stop passing to teammates to prove that they can’t do it without him? Did he demand a trade because the rest of his team sucked? No. That’s what made it that much sweeter for this Lakers fan to see Pierce hoist that Finals MVP trophy in the air. After all, he was the one who deserved it. I never thought I’d see the day where I’d cheer for the Celtics to beat the Lakers. It makes me a little bit sick because I’ve always been a Lakers fan, but I just don’t have the energy anymore.