There are some ugly cats in the NBA. Seeing Pau Gasol in the NBA Finals compelled several discussions about the good, the bad, and the ugly between me and some friends, so (of course) I decided I better make a list of the best of the worst. As I was putting together this list of the ugliest NBA players I thought of several ways to do it: Ugliest at each position, a general top 10, etc. My wife has a theory that the taller you are, the uglier you are likely to be. Based on this theory I decided on a general list of six in order to not limit the talent pool. This list is in no particular order; also included are some who just barely missed the cut. If I left any deserving players off the list, please feel free to correct me.
Sam Cassell - My goodness. Has a more strange looking player ever graced an NBA court? This
guy is a cross between predator and an alien. Maybe he looks like Gollum. His skull looks like it could burst at any moment or like something might emerge out of it. Looking at Cassell kind of reminds me of Mortal Kombat and doing a fatality - Cassell looks like his cranium could spontaneously combust at any moment. Plus his teeth are huge. And yellow. Oh, and you could fit a roll of quarters in each one of his nostrils. It's just down right disturbing.
Robert Swift - Maybe you don't know who he is because he never seems to get playing time and he plays for a team that sucks. But you should know him because he is tremendous looking. From the amazing chin carpet to the pony-tail/hair curtain in the back, he is an Adonis among men. Keep in mind that he is still young and has the potential to actually become more hideous with time.
Hedo Turkoglu - I remember watching a game back in the day when Hedo was in Sacramento and the Kings were actually good. Danny Ainge was doing commentary and after they showed a close-up of Hedo, Ainge said: "Wow! Look at the beak on that guy!" He and the other announcers were laughing so hard they couldn't even talk. Hedo looks like he is on some type of sedative at all times. I realize that when you play ball you exert yourself and breathe harder than normal (i.e., with your mouth open), but Hedo sits there with his yap open at all times - when he's warming up, on the sidelines, during interviews. Someone needs to find a way to install a chinstrap for this guy.
Chris Kaman - WOW. This picture says it all. WOW.
Coach - Stan Van Gundy - Van Gundy makes this list based solely on his resemblance to Ron Jeremy. The fact that both have apparently been very successful in their respective professions is interesting, considering that their looks should hinder them greatly. Not to say that an NBA coach needs to be good looking, but no one wants to play for an ugly coach.
Honorable Mention - Trent Plaisted (he makes the list without having played an NBA game - impressive), Andrew Bogut, Steve Nash (due mostly to his stupid haircut), Dirk Nowitski, Dikembe Mutombo and Andrei Kirilienko a.k.a. Ivan Drago.