The BCS Title Game - Who Will It Be?

Now that PlayBoyd has firmly established himself as the awesome Silverback Gorilla in the jungle that is the Jockstrap, I’ll just continue to go about my business in his enormous shadow. I hope this will suffice while you all wait with bated breath for his next comparison post...

Today I need to talk college football. We’re all seeing firsthand why the BCS is so amazing. Who should play in the BCS title game? Texas? Texas Tech? Oklahoma? USC? Penn State? Even Utah? This, my friends, is exactly why the BCS is so great. I’m not saying it’s the best system out there—not even close—but it does get people all irate about college football. In and of itself, that is a beautiful thing.

If the BCS were not in place this college football season would not have all of this drama. There are six one-loss teams (Texas, Florida, Oklahoma, USC, Texas Tech, Penn State) from major conferences that have a legitimate argument for being in the BCS title game. Personally, I’d rather see an eight team playoff pitting those teams, along with Utah and Alabama, against each other. It would be great. But instead we get this controversy. So, the question remains: Who should play in the BCS Title game? Whoever wins the Florida-Alabama game will get in, but who deserves to face the winner of that game? The candidates:

USC (BCS #5)
The Trojans have beaten two BCS top 25 teams at home this season (Oregon and The Ohio State) and lost on the road to Oregon State, who is not in the BCS top 25. Because of the weak Pac-10 this season (only two teams in the BCS top 25) USC doesn’t have the resume to match up against the other one-loss teams. The Trojans are out.

Penn State (BCS #8)
Penn State suffers from the same thing as UCS—a conference that is crappier than normal. Penn State defeated two BCS top 25 teams (The Ohio State and Michigan State) and lost to Iowa, who pretty much sucks. Penn State did stomp the absolute crap out of Oregon State, who beat USC, but the resume isn’t impressive enough. The Nittany Lions are out. Too bad, because this team was probably Paterno’s last chance to get to the title game as he is likely to pass any day now.

Texas Tech (BCS #7)
The Red Raiders (anyone want to clue me in on what a Red Raider is? I don’t care enough to look it up, but if someone wants to provide the information for Strap readers, please do) have a pretty decent argument to get into the title game. Their only loss was on the road to the BCS #2 team. They have defeated the #3 team (Texas) and the #14 team. Tech likely won’t get in because of the 65-21 pounding they took at the hands of Oklahoma two weeks ago and the fact that they won’t be winning their conference title. They also barely scraped by Nebraska and Baylor by 6 and 7 points, respectively. Tech has had a very impressive year, but they likely won’t even play in a BCS bowl game even though they boast an 11-1 record. That is as good a reason as any to go to a playoff. Tech is getting screwed.

Texas (BCS #3)
The Horns played four top 20 teams this year and beat three of them. The only loss was to Texas Tech on the road on the last play of the game. Texas beat Oklahoma on a neutral field, and beat Missouri and Oklahoma State at home. Texas has a legit claim to be in the title game, but they won’t even play in the Big 12 conference championship game. Some people, like Rob, have a moral problem with allowing a team that didn’t win its conference to play in the BCS title game. So what happens if Oklahoma loses to Mizzou? Texas and Texas Tech become ineligible and we go to Penn State or USC? Penn State drubbed Oregon State, the only team that SC lost to, so Florida/Alabama vs. Penn State in the title game? Or how about another team that beat Oregon State?

Utah (BCS #6)
Utah would legitimately be in the BCS again this year even if it were under the old rules of a non-BCS team having to be in the top 6. That is seriously impressive. The Utes haven’t beaten anybody all that special, but they have beaten the Beavers, as well as BYU and TCU, both in the BCS top 25. Utah also has one thing that none of these other teams have—an unblemished record. Every BCS team would throw a fit if Utah got in, but who cares? Do it just to be different. Plus, everyone loves rooting for the underdog. Utah vs. Florida in the national title game? That would be awesome. I get the feeling Urban would try to hang 60 on his old school and I’d be interested to see if he could do it.

Oklahoma (BCS #2)
Texas fans are all pissing and moaning about beating Oklahoma head-to-head, but when you add in Texas Tech and have a three way tie, you have to look at the overall body of work. Oklahoma’s body of work is just more impressive than is Texas’s. Oklahoma has played five BCS top 20 teams and beaten four of them. Their only loss is to the BCS #3 on a neutral field—that’s a quality loss if there is such thing. If Oklahoma beats Mizzou next week they will have beaten five BCS top 20 teams (TCU, Cincy, Tech, & Oklahoma State). The Sooners have not only beaten those teams, they’ve crushed them by an average margin of victory of 29! That is awesome. Oklahoma’s body of work is impressive and they deserve to be in the BCS title game over Texas, Texas Tech, USC, Penn State, or Utah. Plus, I predicted that Oklahoma would win the National Title in my college football preview, so the Sooners getting there would help me feel validated.

Shame On You America

This is going to be short as I am trying to enjoy the holidays with my family.  Thanksgiving was a success.  We enjoyed the dinners (both at my parent's house and at my in-laws).  There is nothing better than eating a delicious meal surrounded by loved ones, enjoying the comforts of hearth and home, and discussing the many things for which we are grateful.  It was a wonderful day spent thinking of others and thanking the Lord above for our many blessings.

Put that in stark contrast with today's activities.  "Black Friday" as it is called across this great nation of ours, is upon us.  It is ironic that this day of aggressiveness and greed would follow so closely behind Thanksgiving that it is now tramping all over the coattails of the Pilgrims themselves.   I refuse to enter the stores on this day as it only makes me shed a single bitter tear for our once proud country.  My pregnant wife entered the fray this morning at some ungodly hour and was pushed, shoved, and run over by greedy men and women alike.  She was unable to reach the back of the store in time to purchase an item that she had her eyes on because in her delicate state she was unwilling, and perhaps unable, to elbow old women out of the way, or pin a child between a shopping cart and the shoe racks by his neck.

I hope you all got everything that you "needed" to make your yuletides bright.  I thought the country was in a recession, but I guess when you can get a progressive scan DVD player that normally costs $39.00 for $25.00 recession be damned.  Who cares if you have to ram your cart into the back of somebody's heel or shove a pregnant woman into a stack of $3 CDs to be first in line at the greed-fest.

Shame on you America. 

BYU v. Utah - The Aftermath

Sports fans can’t seem to give credit where it is due. Why can’t we give credit to whoever beats our favorite team? There is always some excuse instead of saying the better team won. Well, congratufreakinglations, Utes fan. You get to go to the BCS for the second time while listening to BYU fans tell you that you’re overrated, even though you beat the Cougars by 24 points.

Even though I am a BYU fan, I will not be telling you that I think Utah is overhyped or doesn’t deserve to go to the BCS. You won't get any pictures of the game in this post, but the fact of the matter is this: Utah is 12-0. Period. I’m not going to go with the “you didn’t really play anybody” argument either. Going undefeated in D-1 football (I’m still not calling it the FBS) is quite an accomplishment no matter who you play. On top of that, Utah beat three top-25 teams this season in Oregon State, TCU, and BYU. Anyone who watched the TCU-BYU game knows how good the Horned Frogs are. And for the record, the name Horned Frogs deserves two thumbs up.

As I stated in my post last week, seeing Utah beat BYU at anything makes me sick. I get irritated when I find out Utah beat BYU in women’s soccer, but last Saturday was pretty bad. Then I get to read Body’s (see comments to Utah post) post about the “mighty Utes” yesterday and it only exacerbates things. Mighty Utes. In my book that should be an oxymoron. But it isn’t—the Utes are good.

I’m already sick of hearing (and reading) about how the Utes are overrated. If this comes from a Florida or Texas fan I can handle it, but when it comes from a Cougar fan after a 24-point beat down it comes off as you just being a sourpuss. As a BYU fan, I now make this plea to other Cougars fans: Please don’t piss and moan about the Utes being a fraud or "not that good." Don’t go with the “we only lost because Max Hall was playing for both teams” crack. Don’t just say “the Utes suck, BYU gave them that game.” When you make these arguments, we all look bad. Please stop. All I’m saying is, if you’re going to run your mouth (as we all know BYU fans love to do, myself included) please make a legitimate claim. Don’t just spit out whatever is in your head out of frustration. The Utes doubled up BYU on Saturday. It’s a fact. It sucks, but Cougars fans whining and blaming it on everything other than Utah being a good football team makes us look like idiots. The outcome of the game doesn’t mean BYU sucks, it means that Utah played better, won the game, and finished unbeaten.

I have friends that are BYU fans that will surely tell me this post sucks or that I’m selling out. I’ve already heard it from people in conversation over the weekend. We seem to take losses so personally - I’ve heard two years worth of it from Utah fans. I hear about how BYU shouldn’t have won the last two matchups and that it was luck, or the refs, or the fault of one defensive lapse… Hearing that crap for two years got old. BYU made the plays to win the game. This year Utah made the plays, and I have to deal with it for the next year. So I’m going to sack up, put the big pants on, and give credit where it is due. Nice job Utah. Congrats. And I look forward to revenge next year.

How Many Athletes Does It Take To Screw In A Light Bulb?

While I do not normally participate in the mundane telling of preconceived jokes (knock, knock.  Who's there?  Nobody gives a damn.  Etc.), today I would like to explore a number of famous athletes and their ability or inability to screw in the proverbial light bulb.

Kobe Bryant

Though it has been established over the course of Kobe's life that he certainly has the ability to screw things, it remains uncertain whether or not one of those screwable objects is a light bulb.  It would be trite and a bit too easy for me to simply say something like:  "How many Kobe Bryants does it take to screw in a light bulb?  One.  All he has to do is hold the light bulb and let the Earth revolve around him."  One thing is certain though, Kobe has a great team of high-priced lawyers to help him if he is ever accused of screwing in any light bulb, be it consensual or forced.  One can only assume that with Kobe's seemingly unlimited skill set, the task of screwing in a simple light bulb would be taken in stride, though a little beneath him (no pun intended).

Adam "Don't Call Me Pacman" Jones

Pacman has a myriad of problems: guns, alcohol, drugs, strippers, strip club shootouts resulting in the death of innocent bystander, ADHD (not confirmed, but come on now), and pro wrestling.  While his laundry list of offenses and shortcomings is incredibly long I don't think that it includes trouble with petite motor skills.  Screwing in a light bulb should be no problem for a man who uses his hands for a living, after all his profession involves holding, pushing, grabbing, catching, flashing gang signs, and making it rain.  Surely screwing in a light bulb can't be more difficult that locking fingers in a mercy fight with Triple H, or firing several rounds of ammunition into the air to warn all haters that he ain't messin' around.  Never having had the experience, I can only assume that it takes finger dexterity to work a roach clip, but I could be wrong.

Shaquille O'neal

I think there is no doubt as to whether or not Shaq could screw in a light bulb.  Of course he can.  The question is whether he would use magic to accomplish this feat or a more traditional method.  "Kazaam!  The light bulb is in."  With the big fella reaching heights of over seven feet tall he certainly would not need a ladder to do his screwing, and if you ask his ex-wife he doesn't even need to be home or with her to do his screwing either.  Shaq would most definitely give himself a hilarious nickname while doing this task.  Something like "The Big Electrician" or "The Big Honey-Do List Accomplisher".  Perhaps if the ceilings were incredibly high and none of Shaq's posse were around to screw the light bulb in for him he might get out a ladder and begin the task of screwing by himself (not like that you sick bastards.  Get your minds out of the gutter).  Maybe while he was up there standing high above the ground it would be a more opportune moment than at a hip-hop club to ask his "best friend" Kobe how exactly his ass tastes.

Tim Duncan

I could go into a bunch of crazy reasoning as to whether or not Timmy could screw in a light bulb, I could try to use slight of hand, wit, or sarcasm.  I could talk about how on the island Tim grew up on they probably didn't even have light bulbs, or how he plays lights out most of the time, or some other such drivel, but we all know that the answer to this question is just as simple and fundamental as this big man's game.  Yes.  Yes he can.

*Derek Fisher would use his kid's cancer to get out of screwing in a light bulb.

*Greg Oden would break his wrist, knee, and ankle trying to screw in a light bulb.  Plus his osteoporosis is too highly advanced because he's probably like 87 years old.

*Rex Grossman would fumble the light bulb when accepting it from the hardware store clerk and then recklessly throw it into a group of light bulbs from the opposing team.

*Tiger Woods would screw the light bulb in from 120 yards with a soft pitching wedge and insane backspin.

*Ray Lewis would allegedly murder his light bulb outside a club, pass the blame on to one of his buddies for a promised sum of money once said friend served his time, and then win defensive player of the year.

 

I had a couple of other examples, but not very much time, so enjoy and feel free to add anything you would like.  I've got to go screw in a light bulb. 

BYU-Utah: The Holy War

It’s time for the Holy War. It should be called the Holier Than Thou War if we must go that route, but I don’t get to run the show. I am definitely biased when it comes to this matchup, so I should mention that up front. I hate the Utes. I also respect the U, but I hate everything about that team and I hope BYU pounds the crap out of them. I realize that’s not going to happen, and that is one of the things that makes this rivalry great.

I’ve been to at least 10 or 15 BYU-Utah games and it’s always crazy. I remember going to the game at Rice-Eccles in 2000 and thinking that I might not make it out of the stadium in tact. BYU and Utah fans hate each other. The fact that Boyd and I get along is an anomaly in this rivalry. It's probably because we look at things more realistically than most BYU or Utah fans. It’s hard being a Cougars fan because I often get lumped into the Embarrassment or My Cup Runneth O’er categories. But I’m still a die-hard Cougars fan (by the way, Utah lost to SW Baptist in basketball last week – at home. I know, I know, college hoops sucks, but it needed to be said).

Notice how great these teams have been over the past 2 years or so: Utah has won 19 of its last 20 and BYU has won 20 of its last 21. Both teams are winning at a 95% clip! The teams have split the last 12 meetings. In the last eleven games between BYU and Utah, only one has been decided by double digits (Utah won 52-21 in 2004, the year they broke the BCS under Urban Meyer). The last three games have been unreal, with one going into overtime, one decided on the last play, and the other being decided in the final two minutes. I’m stoked because the game on Saturday should be no different. In looking forward to Saturday, here are my big questions:

Can the Utah secondary keep Austin Collie from having a big game?
Will the U go about defending Collie with business as usual or will they specifically put McCain or Smith on him? Smith is bigger and more physical, but McCain is faster and the better cover man. The Ute defense will catch a break if Dennis Pitta can’t play, because they will be able to really focus on Collie. My guess is that Collie will extend his streak of 100-yard games to ten.

Can the BYU offensive line protect Max Hall?
Probably not. The BYU offensive line was shellacked by the TCU defensive line and Utah’s is almost as athletic. The Utah coaching staff will have some new wrinkles to throw at the Cougar line and will likely be able to force Hall to get happy feet. Seemed to work for the Horned Frogs...

Can the BYU defense slow down the Utah offense?
I’d be surprised. The BYU defense ranks 21st in scoring defense and has had two shutouts this year, but those stats are deceiving. This defense is just not very good. Utah runs an offense that uses a lot of misdirection to keep defenses off balance. The BYU defense has looked terrible against teams that run those kinds of offenses this year, so why would it be any different Saturday? Look for the Utes to put a big number on the board.


Will anyone choke?
I ask this question because both quarterbacks are so freaking clutch. Brian Johnson has led the Utes on some impressive fourth-quarter drives. He led an amazing comeback against Oregon State earlier this year, a last minute touchdown drive against TCU, and last year against BYU he took the Utes to the end zone to take the lead in the final minutes. Max Hall has done the same thing for the Cougars. Hall has led the team on game-winning drives against Utah last year, and UNLV, Colorado State, and Washington this year. Both are cool in the clutch and have impressive records as a starting quarterback (Johnson 24-7, Hall 21-3). I wouldn’t bet against either of them.

Which team will be more prepared?
Based on what I’ve seen in the past three years with Kyle and Bronco it should be about even. Here is where the edge comes in – Kyle appears to be much better at making adjustments. If BYU starts fast, expect Utah to counterattack by throwing something different at them. If Utah starts fast, expect BYU to make adjustments when it’s too late.

Who will win?
As a BYU fan I want nothing more than to see the U lose their BCS opportunity in a flameout. I think BYU has the better offense, but Utah has the advantage on defense and special teams. Throw in the home field advantage and the Utes are looking good. I hope I’m wrong, but I’m picking Utah 38-30.

Facts about Tim Tebow

One of my friends is a huge Florida Gators fan. It borders on obsession. He sent me an email awhile ago that made me laugh. Because the Gators are currently making a push as the best college football team in the country, here are 15 facts about Tim Tebow, the 2007 Heisman Trophy winner.


15. Tim Tebow once stiff-armed a horse. Its descendants are known as giraffes.

14. Tim Tebow caught the roadrunner, and then beat the hell out of Wil E. Coyote for being a pansey.

13. Superman wears Tim Tebow pajamas.

12. Tim Tebow can eat just one Lays potato chip. Don't tell Tim Tebow what he can't do.

11. Tim Tebow invented black. In fact, Tim Tebow invented the entire spectrum of light. Except pink. Bobby Bowden invented pink.

10. Tim Tebow invented the bolt-action rifle, liquor, sexual intercourse, and football. In that order.

9. God wanted to create the world in 10 days, but Tim Tebow only gave him 6.

8. Tim Tebow once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. It made him blink.

7. Tim Tebow once ate an entire cake before his friends could inform him that there was a stripper in it.

6. The grass is always greener on the other side. Unless Tim Tebow has been there. In that case, the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.

5. Tim Tebow recently had the idea to sell his canned urine as a beverage. This is now known as Red Bull.

4. For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Tim Tebow, each testicle is larger than the other one.

3. Superman's only weakness is Kryptonite. Tim Tebow laughs at Superman for having a weakness.

2. Tim Tebow won the Tour de France on a unicycle to prove to Lance Armstrong that it wasn't a big deal. Tim Tebow thinks yellow wrist bands are gay.

1. After sex, Tim Tebow smokes. Not cigarettes - his penis literally smokes.

Food and the NBA

Okay, this is going to be a little crazy.  I was sitting here watching a couple of different NBA games and then I got to thinking about how hungry I am.  As I was trying to decide what to eat I got to thinking about a list of my favorite foods.  I then said to myself, "Self, I love the NBA so much and I also love food.  I love the Celtics and I love pizza.  Mmmm, pizza.  Hey, if NBA players were food who would be spaghetti and meat balls?"  (I told you it was going to be crazy).

Pizza-Paul Pierce

This was an obvious choice for me because both are my favorite.  I loves me some Paul Pierce just like I loves me some pizza.  Pizza has so many different options.  You can go with plain cheese, hawaiian, or pepperoni which is a favorite in my household, but your choices don't end there, not by a long shot.  Sausage, olives, mushrooms, onions, peppers, ham, bacon, hamburger, and tomatoes are all delicious backed into a pizza pie.  Some people like goat cheese and artichoke hearts on their pizza (which sounds disgusting to me) but never having tried it, I can't say if it's good or not.  To me, Paul Pierce is like pizza.  Pierce can give it to you so many ways.  He has the sweet outside shot and on occasion if he sets his mind to it can rain threes down on you from any spot around the arc.  He can post up, he can slash to the basket, he has a midrange game, he can fade away, he plays in the middle of the key, on the wing, or from the baseline.  Pierce can shoot free throws so you can foul him and send him to the line because he'll kill you.  Some people will argue that Kobe should be pizza, but Kobe is too much of an A-hole to be sweet, beautiful pizza.  Pizza would never cheat on his wife or allegedly rape his lady friend, that's more a sushi or lamb chops move.  And Lebron can't be pizza because he can't shoot and believe me when I say it, pizza can shoot the lights out.

Fillet Mignon-Tim Duncan

I enjoy a succulent steak whenever I can afford one (I'm not talking about a steak at Sizzlers now, I'm talking about a beautiful piece of center cut fillet about three inches thick and cooked to perfection by a real chef, not a guy who works at the taco cart part time and will drywall your basement for beer).  Steak is a staple of american cuisine.  It is basic, simple, but extremely delicious.  Steak is best when seasoned with salt and pepper.  It is ordinary but satisfying.  Tim Duncan is known as "the Big Fundamental".  He is not flashy or exciting, but the quality of his game can never be questioned.  Like steak Duncan is a staple of american cuisine, er basketball.  Duncan's salt and pepper are Manu Ginobili and Tony Parker.  These players compliment Duncan just as these simple seasonings make a steak even more delicious, and as we have seen this season, without his salt and pepper Duncan is still a stud but just not as good as he could be.  P.S. Tim Duncan has a two head instead of a forehead.  This has nothing to do with food, but it is an interesting FYI.

Ice Cream Crepes-Dirk Nowitzki

I had this really good dessert the other day and it made me think of Nowitzki.  The thin crepes were filled with vanilla ice cream, surrounded by fresh berries, and drizzled with a butter chocolate sauce.    The combination of these flavors was a bit foreign yet extremely delicious.  After a few bites however, I realized that my plate must have just come out of the dishwasher and was still a little warm.  This desert could not stand up to even this limited heat source and the ice cream had melted before I could get through the entire dish.  Dirk Nowitzki is also a little foreign yet his game is extremely delicious.  A seven footer with that type of range should not be allowed to exist.  Nowitzki is surrounded by some fresh berries in Josh Howard and Jason Kidd and a few sour ones in Erick Dampier and Gerald Green.  Jerry Stackhouse  and Jason Terry add the chocolate sauce (and not like you are thinking, when I say chocolate sauce in this case I mean sauce made from chocolate not whatever sick and twisted thing you disgusting bastards are thinking.  Get your minds out of the gutter).  And lastly, just like my ice cream treat, Dirk Nowitzki melts under the mildest application of heat like the playoffs or some other pressure packed situation like free throws when the game is on the line.

Honorable Mentions:

Spaghetti and Meatballs-Shaq (because meatballs sound fat)

Devils Spit Hot Wings-KG (because of their shared intensity)

Anything cooked on the Hibachi-Gilbert Arenas (because dude thinks he's cookin' suckers)

Moo goo gai pan-Yao Ming (obvious reasons)

Anything that is cooked with a huge flash of fire and then leaves a really bad taste in your mouth-Vince Carter (he has now quit on TWO teams)

Feel free to add your NBA favorites, bake until golden brown around the edges, let cool, and enjoy!

It's Time For College Basketball

I love college basketball and the season is about to start, which means it's prediction time. As a side note, I would like to mention that before the season started last year, I predicted Kansas to win the National Championship. I'm not saying I'll be right again, but I'm hoping I look good when it's all over. So, without further ado, here are my 2008-2009 college hoops predictions.


Most likely to hang 50 in a game: Stephen Curry, Davidson.
Don't be fooled by the fact that he looks like he's just about to hit puberty. Curry scored 26 ppg last season and hung 40 on Gonzaga in the first round of the tourney last year, including 30 in the second half. He then proceeded to drop 25 in the second half against Georgetown in the second round. Curry is the real deal and could very possibly hang 50 on someone this year. He scored less than 15 points in a game twice last year in 36 games.

Most likely to be the #1 pick in the 2009 NBA Draft: Blake Griffin, Oklahoma.
Griffin is a bit raw but his athleticism is off the charts. He's 6-10, 250, and has a "great body." He went for 15 ppg and 9 rpg last year while being plagued by two separate knee injuries. He finished strong last year by averaging 21 ppg and 15 rpg over his last 8 games as his health improved. If Griffin stays consistently healthy this year he'll play his way into being the top pick in the next NBA Draft, where Stephen A. Smith is sure to say something asinine.

Most Famous Player: Percy Miller, USC.
You might know Percy as the son of Master P, the founder of No Limit Records. Make 'em say Uhhhhh! Or you might know him as Lil Romeo. You don't know nuthin' about Lil Romeo, son. Side note - why do rappers think that having Lil in your nickname is cool? Have you ever considered how stupid some of these rap names are? Lil Wayne, Lil Scrappy, Fabolous, Young Jeezy, Lil Flip, Birdman, Slim Thug. I don't get it. Anyway, Miller must be the only college basketball player in America that drives a $300,000 Maybach. Word is that USC offered Lil Homeo a scholarship so that they could sign DeMar DeRozan. DeRozan is an insane athlete and could knock Griffin out as the #1 pick in the draft. Miller's 13 ppg in high school was apparently enough to get him a Pac-10 scholarship... Forgive me for being skeptical.

National Player of the Year: Stephen Curry.
Everyone is automatically penciling Tyler Hansbrough in as POY, but Curry has so much juice from his performance last year that I think he'll get the award.

Most Amazing Uniforms: Marquette











Watch Out For These Teams: Virginia Tech, USC, Saint Mary's, Alabama, UNLV.

These Teams Are Overhyped: Pittsburgh, Tennessee, Georgetown.


Elite Eight: Notre Dame, Duke, UCLA, Gonzaga
Notre Dame returns almost everyone, including the best post player in the country not named Hansbrough. Luke Harangody averaged 20 and 11 last year, but the Irish lack depth.
Duke has a great backcourt and tremendous wings, but no consistent inside presence. The backcourt is good enough to get them this far.
UCLA brought in an incredible recruiting class to go along with the best point guard in the country, Darren Collison. The Bruins will again play great D and own the Pac-10, but the consecutive Final Four streak ends at 3.
Gonzaga is stacked, and Austin Daye could take the country by storm. If Daye breaks out and Josh Heytvelt decides to stay off of shrooms, the Zags could make a Final Four trip.

Final Four: Louisville, Michigan State
Louisville is stacked and Pitino teams generally get better as the season goes on. The Cardinals have a legitimate shot at winning the championship this season. Earl Clark is a future lottery pick.
Michigan State is fast and athletic, and Kalin Lucas underappreciated. He'll ease the blow from losing Drew Neitzel. Lucas is a blur with the ball, and the Spartans have a bunch of young players who will bust out. Keep an eye out for Durrell Summers.

National Runner-up: North Carolina
Everyone is picking UNC to win it all, as the smart money is on the Tar Heels to bring Roy Williams another title. The Heels have last season's National Player of the Year in Tyler Hansbrough and the fastest point guard in the country in Ty Lawson. Not to mention Wayne Ellington, Danny Green, and Marcus Ginyard. Oh, and they had a top 5 recruiting class. All this coming back for a team that went 36-3.

National Champs: Connecticut
So, with UNC so stacked, I'm picking last season's 4th place team in the Big East to win the title. Why? Because I don't like to go with the obvious pick. The reasons for the UConn pick are simple: every significant player returns improved, Calhoun is a great coach, and the Huskies match up well with UNC. If any player in the country can neutralize Hansbrough it's Hasheem Thabeet. At 7'3 and 260, Thabeet can block shots, rebound, and his offensive game has continued to get better. He added a jump shot to his game last year, and his power moves are beginning to look Shaq-like. The Huskies have talent at every position, with A.J. Price, Jeff Adrien, Jerome Dyson, Craig Austrie, and Stanley Robinson. The Huskies will do what they did in 1999 - beat an invincible ACC team to win it all.

Two “Sports” That Are Not Sports

Boyd wrote a post a while back about what constitutes a sport. Did you know that speed walking is considered a sport? Well, the technical term is racewalking, but it is considered a sport, or at least an athletic event. Since no one defends a goal of any kind, we’ll call it an athletic event. Racewalking is an Olympic event, and has been since 1908! The fact that this is an event at the Olympics should shatter all credibility for the games (even moreso than the Chinese gymnasts who had their Huggies protruding from their leotards). In racewalking, one must keep a foot in contact with the ground at all times and judges are on hand to monitor a racewalker’s form. They even hand out red cards for violation of rules. Similar to soccer, which also sucks.

Racewalking has been around since the late 1800s and it has sucked for just as long. How is this considered a sport? Watch how these people swing their arms like they’re part of a retard gang doing a pimp walk. While looking up information on racewalking I came across a blog written by an apparently famous racewalker. She went on some diatribe about how jogging sucks and she insults joggers by telling them that jogging is bad for your knees and that they must buy their shoes at “Joggertown.” If racewalkers are all this clever and run smack like that then you can count me in. Where do I sign up? There are many resources available to the speed walker, such as books, how-to DVDs, and classes. For those of you who are interested, click here.

This clip sums it up beautifully.


This brings me to my all-time favorite “sport” - NASCAR. NASCAR is flat-out unacceptable. What family time could be better than Cletus teaching his son how to be an athlete by sitting him in a Fisher Price car and having him learn to turn the wheel to the left? I must give credit where credit is due: NASCAR has influenced society in positive ways, including street racing, window stickers, Calvin pissing on a Ford logo, cars with no mufflers, and the Confederate Flag.

The other day I had a neighbor invite me to his house to watch a race on a Sunday afternoon. He says, “I know you’re a big sports guy, so I thought maybe you’d want to come watch Nascar with us this Sunday.” After I stopped laughing I politely declined. Amongst all my dislike for Nascar, I must admit that any “sport” that markets specifically to rednecks has a certain charm. Kentucky Fried Chicken advertised and sold NASCAR collectible buckets of chicken. This is ingenious - everyone knows that the NASCAR-loving segment of the population is enormous within the fried chicken-purchasing population. What other population would run out to buy chicken because someone stamped collectible on the side next to a picture of a guy wearing a thick bodysuit while sporting a great cropduster? Tennis fan certainly wouldn’t flock to KFC with their Polo collars popped to get collectible Pete Sampras buckets.

I don’t know how many people are going to read this post, but it’s inevitable that some noob is going to get on here and tell me that I’m ignorant and that I have no idea how hard racing is, that I've disrespected the South or rednecks, or that I'm an idiot who just wants to complain about something. I know, I know, NASCAR is a 200mph chess match and holding the wheel to the left while putting your foot down on a pedal requires loads of athletic ability. Watching all these advertisements on wheel is like watching a crappy 3-hour commercial. And people actually pay to see it. I’m not trying to convince anyone not to watch NASCAR. If you like it, fine. But don’t tell me that it’s a sport and don’t tell me the drivers are athletes. If you rednecks leave a comment, please at least try to be coherent. I'm tired - Goodnight, now.

I hate you BCS, or BSC, whatever.

Okay, so I'm not much of a college football fan.  I'll admit that I'm a homer.  I love the University of Utah because that is where I got my degree and I just can't stand my other option, BYU.  So when it comes to College Football, I don't have much of an opinion on much of anything.  But there is one topic in NCAA Football on which I do have an opinion, one thing that I am certain is slowly destroying the game, and that is the BCS.

Today on Sportscenter the football gurus are debating whether or not the University of Utah should be allowed a BCS bowl bid.  They are ranked 8th in the BCS standings and this was before they beat TCU last night (ranked 12th in the BCS).  Why is this a debate?  The Utes are ranked 8th for hell's sake, they are 10-0 and have beaten three pretty good teams (Michigan at the Big House, Oregon State, and TCU).  If Texas or USC have one loss they are still in the top ten in the BCS and no one ever questions their ranking, so why the Utes?  I'll tell you why, it's because the BCS is retarded that's why.

The BCS is run by a computer and that's the first thing wrong with the system.  Does a computer have the ability to distinguish if a team with a big lead puts their second string defense in at the end of a game and allows two late insignificant touchdown?  Does a computer know about field conditions and how wind, rain, snow, and fog can keep a normally explosive offense from scoring the points they most assuredly would in better conditions?  Does a computer know anything about heated rivalries that have been forged over years of hate-filled competition and how in such rivalries win/loss records are insignificant?  The answer to all of these questions is no.

The next thing that is wrong with the BCS is that it causes teams and

head coaches to be A-holes in order for better numbers to be added to the complicated math problem that spits out the BCS standings.  Urban Myers, head coach of the Florida Gators, called two time out in the last five minutes of their game against Georgia last week.  The Gators were up 49-10.  Myers was trying to score more points so that a better margin of victory against a quality opponent like Georgia could be added into the computer and help raise his BCS stock.  This is the kind of thing that makes coaches kick an onside kick with two minutes left in the game and leading by three touchdowns.  This is the reason you see teams beating other teams by seventy points.  The BCS is bad for the game.  It allows no room for sportsmanship, class, or mercy.  We all know that USC is better than Washington State so do we really need to watch the Trojans kick the hell out of the Cougars 69-0 to prove it?

Are the coaches poll or the AP poll a better solution to the BCS?  I don't think so.  There is too much room for favoritism, speculation, and coaches don't care about what other teams are doing.  They are too busy trying to prepare their team for their next opponent to take the time to look over all of college football and make educated votes.  I think the AP just waits for the coaches poll to come out and then they reverse the order of a couple of teams and then post their poll.  It's all too non-scientific for my taste.  Is a playoff system the answer to this BCS mess?  I'm not sure that it is.  How many teams do you let in?  Eight?  16?  32?  The playoff system would create just as much controversy as the BCS has over the last few years, if not more.

Here is my solution.  The NCAA needs a dude like Mel Kiper Jr. of NFL Draft fame.  They need a dude with a computer for a brain and nothing else to do but look at the landscape of college football and decide who should be where in the standings.  They need a dude who doesn't care if a team is from the Mountain West of the SEC.  They need a dude who can crunch the numbers, look at the matchups, and calculate all of the intangibles to come up with some rankings that actually make some sense.  At first look this may seem impossible.  How can any one man be asked to do such a thing?  But if any of you have watched Kiper Jr. run the NFL Draft show you know that the dude is a complete genius.  He has info on who each team should draft and knows about guys best fit for the ninth round that you have never even heard of before.  Kiper Jr. is a walking talking computer with a kick ass Eddie Munster hairdo.  If Kiper Jr. doesn't want to do the job I'm sure the NCAA can find some guy who has won his office fantasy league for the last ten years and knows stuff about players you or I didn't even know existed.

Okay, so when it comes down to it, I don't have a real solution to the BCS mess, but I do know that something must be done before College Football becomes so mired in controversy that nobody can stomach watching the games.

Go Utes!

Hard Work Never Killed Anybody, But Why Take The Chance?

I'll be honest with you - I have some stuff going on right now that prevents me from getting into this post too much today, so it will be relatively brief.


In a confirmation of my diagnostic criteria for My Cup Runneth O'er, my boy Dyer called me the other night and explained that the Jazz still have a shot at 82-0. Next up for Dyer will be him calling me three minutes into a game with the Jazz up 4-0 and telling me that the Jazz could go for a shutout. I wouldn't put it past him.

I want to congratulate the Chicago Bears for not screwing up the Lions' perfect season. Detroit has now signed Daunte Culpepper in efforts to blow the opportunity for a completely blemished season. Good thing Daunte sucks now. I'm still hopeful...

Maybe the Clippers can go 0-82. After all, they are the Clippers.

Have you been watching the rookies in the NBA this year? The stats are impressive, with seven averaging double figures in ppg already. It may not last, but it's good to see. The top two picks are each averaging over 17ppg.

Is anyone excited about college basketball starting? I'm usually a college hoops junkie but it just doesn't seem all that appealing this year. Maybe it's because North Carolina looks like they could beat a few NBA teams. When you already know who's going to win it all, it's not as fun.

Speaking of winning it all, I know it's early, but seeing the way the Lakers are playing so far makes me wonder if I should have picked them to win the Championship. They look awesome, even with Andrew Bynum looking pretty mediocre so far. Of course, he did have 17 boards last night, so what happens when he puts it together?

Does anyone want to see Alabama or Penn State in the BCS Title game? Personally, I'd rather see Florida-Texas, or USC-Oklahoma. I'd almost rather see Ball State-Utah at this point. Alabama is a boring team to watch and I don't want to watch the title game and hear the announcers talking about Paterno and his impending death the entire time.

I am currently in a state of fasting and prayer in hopes that Manny Ramirez will re-sign with the Dodgers. I need as much of Man-Ram in my life as possible.

How about Urban Meyer calling two timeouts in the final minute of the game last week with Florida up 49-10? And people wonder who taught Kyle Whittingham the hilarious "onside kick when up by 43" trick he used last year when Utah was crushing Wyoming.

Brett Farve leads the NFL in interceptions this season with 12 and has been booed repeatedly by Jets fans in the past few weeks. Please, Brett, go away.

A couple was arrested during the Bills-Jets game this past Sunday because they were caught mid-coitus in the women's bathroom. Chris Berman, a longtime Bills fan, did the play by play. He could ... go ... all ... the ... way! These people couldn't even wait until after the game? I understand that sometimes you need some love and affection, but considering how dirty the can at a football stadium must be, the sex drive must have been off the charts for them to go at it in a bathroom stall. They were probably just excited to be in the presence of Greatness (i.e., Brett Farve).

My Votes

Boyd gave us our ballot options yesterday - and fine options they were - and I decided to make my responses public, along with a bit about why I voted the way I did. Click here to cast your votes. In an important update, Angela Lansbury is indeed still alive. I have verified this through a quick 5 second search using the Internet. Patrice - you can rest easy, baby. It's all love here at the Strap.

1. Best NBA Player - Kobe Bryant
This could be an entire column, but I'll save that for another time. Kobe Bryant is the best basketball player in the world. LeBron James is a great player (and more of a team player) and is probably the best athlete in the league, but Kobe is the most skilled player in the league right now. Kobe is the most dynamic offensive threat since Jordan and is a better man defender than King James. The math is simple: better on offense + better on defense = better overall. Basketball is played at both ends of the floor, so Kobe comes out ahead here. On top of that you have Kobe's pride, mentality, and competitive nature - Kobe doesn't want to be known as the best player in the NBA, he wants to be known as the best player ever. And he plays like it. I just can't pick James over Bryant at this point. That said, LeBron is better at his age than Kobe was at the same age, and LeBron seems to have potential to get even better, whereas I would say that Kobe probably doesn't have the ceiling that LeBron does. My vote goes to KB24 right now, but LeBron will eventually surpass him.

2. Best Point Guard - Chris Paul
Paul gets the nod for two main reasons: his hands and decision making. Paul is the best decision maker in basketball. His ball control is amazing and he turns the ball over much less than most point guards. Paul seems to get every loose ball - he led the league in assists and steals per game last season. He also finished second in scoring and fourth in rebounding among all point guards. Jazz fans, prepare your rebuttal.

3. Most Hated NBA Player - Ron Artest
I like Artest much more than Ginobili, but I voted for the Tru Warrior because I think more people dislike him. He is too insane to not be hated by millions of NBA fans around the United States, particularly due to his role in the brawl at the Palace (even though Ben Wallace doesn't get enough credit for instigating that melee).

4. Most Likely to Be In a Boy Band - Wally Szczerbiak
How can you choose anyone other than Wally or Kevin Love? Kevin Love looks like the Color Me Badd guy and has the last name for it, but the guy is too tubby to be convincing. Look at how the only Nsync guy anyone knows is Timberlake - because the other guys were fat or ugly. Now, Wally on the other hand has the look - washboard abs, tousled hair, and a strong jawline. I said it. Wally could fit right in with a boy band.

5. Best 80s Wrestler - Ric Flair
This was a tough one, but due mostly to his amazing promo skills The Nature Boy is the choice. Flair was insane, great on the mic, good in the ring, executed the Flair flop, and wore pageant-quality sequined gowns. Wooooooooo!!

6. Sport You Care Least About - Soccer
Soccer is the most boring sport on the freaking planet. I have a bunch of friends who will get up at 3 in the morning to watch World Cup soccer. I just don't get it. It's like people with their purse dogs - I just don't get it. Can someone please explain to me why I should care about soccer?

7. Best Condiment - Ketchup
Ketchup gets the nod here for versatility. Ketchup enhances the hot dog, corn dog, hamburger, meatloaf, onion rings, french fries, eggs, etc. No other condiment can compete with that kind of multifaceted excellence. BBQ sauce is wonderful (and I actually prefer it on most things) but doesn't have as many applications.

8. Best Sports Babe - Elisha Cuthbert
You can't go wrong here, but I like blondes, so Cuthbert gets my vote.

9. Most Likely to be the First Picked on Hell's Football Team - Orenthal James Simpson
The Juice has truly earned my vote (who voted for Ray Lewis?). I could list all of OJ's illegal accomplishments, but suffice it to say that his criminal history is long and impressive. The guy wrote a book called If I Did It about the murders of Nicole and Ronald. That takes some serious balls and probably punched his ticket to hell on the spot. Then OJ was arrested for robbery in Las Vegas and when questioned by the media he reportedly said, "I thought what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas." Nobody can touch the Juice.

Makings Of A Sports Fan

My post today will serve as an introduction, as I am new to the Jockstrap family. I thought it would be both insightful and helpful to the readers of this blog if each of you knew a little more about me and what makes me tick as a sports fan. I am a long time Celtics, Mets, and Bears fan. I have often had to defend my status as a fan of these franchises over the years and I will do so now in hopes that I will never have to be accused of being a bandwagon jumper (in the case of the Celtics winning a championship last year, and the Bears going to the Super Bowl two years ago) or a retard (in the case of the Mets, Bears, and Celtics sucking it up for the better part of two decades).

I proceed with a brief life history in hopes of defending my teams:

It was September 1985. I was nine years old and in the autumn of my youth. Before this time I had never had any real interest in sports, but as my interest grew I was forced into picking a team, as it is not customary in our Country to watch sports without first choosing sides. At this time of year the NFL was starting up and as I surveyed the teams available to me it was evident that one stood out from the rest. The 1985 Chicago Bears were known for their swarming often stifling defense. I had never seen anything like the Bear’s defense before and am comfortable saying that I have never seen anything like it since. Watch the Bears perform “The Super Bowl Shuffle” and tell me that in the infancy of rap music that wasn’t the sweetest thing you had ever seen, I defy you. I watched the Bears dismantle opponents throughout the season and then shut out the competition in the playoffs until reaching Super Bowl XX on January 26, 1986 where they destroyed the Patriots 46-10. Mike Singletary, Richard Dent, William “the Refrigerator” Perry, Jim McMahon, Willie Gault, and Walter Payton; there was so much to love about this team and I have to admit, I was hooked from the word go.

When football was over I discovered that the NBA was already in full swing. Basketball is the love of my life. It’s true I’ve had affairs with other sports (damn you volleyball), but basketball has always held my love and forgiven my cheating heart. Right away I was forced to look at the Utah Jazz as a possible team worthy of my undying loyalty, as I live in Utah and it always makes it easier if you root for the home team. Bobby Hansen, Carey Scurry, Pace Mannion, and Marc Iavaroni should speak volumes as to why I did not choose the Jazz as my team. If you need more evidence as to why I did not choose to root for the Jazz, check out Karl Malone’s draft day suit. ‘Nuff said. There was a team however that peaked my interests right away. The 1985/86 Boston Celtics had it all. My mom is from Ireland so being half Irish I was instantly drawn to the shamrocks, Lucky the Leprechaun, and the beautiful green and white uniforms. Larry Bird, Kevin McHale, Robert Parrish, Dennis Johnson, and a 67-15 regular season record all made the Celtics an easy choice for me. Bird was magnificent winning his third straight MVP award in ’86 and when the C’s won the Championship in June I was instantly made a fan for life.

Baseball started in April of 1986. The New York Mets were brash, over confident, and extremely talented. They talked the talk, but then they definitely walked the walk. Doc Gooden was awesome (damn you cocaine), Darryl Strawberry was unstoppable (damn you cocaine), Keith Hernandez was Keith Hernandez (damn you molestache), and Lenny Dykstra was “Nails”. 108-54 was a totally dominate regular season record, they played well in the playoffs, got a little lucky (thank you Bill Buckner), and won the Championship in October 1986 making them my favorite baseball team and giving me the 1986 Championship Holy Trinity of the Bears, the Celtics, and the Mets. You see, I had no choice in the matter. Because 1986 was the year of my sports enlightenment, and because I had no way of knowing what the next twenty plus years would bring, my hand was forced. Boyd is my little brother so he had no choice either because we all know that it is the order of the universe that a little brother must do whatever his older brother says or suffer the consequences.

So there you have it. Twenty-two years ago I made my choices and I have never looked back. I have suffered greatly because of my teams (why did you have to die Reggie Lewis—damn you again cocaine! DAMN YOU!!), and I have had a few great moments (thank you KG and Ray Allen, thank you), but through it all I have never jumped off of a sinking ship and the only championship bandwagon on to which I have ever jumped were the wagons belonging to the three sweet champions of 1986 and then, I was only a foolish kid with stars in my eyes and my whole life ahead of me. Can anyone blame me for that?

The Greatest Hair in Sports

It's an addiction - I can't stop harping on hair. It's probably because I don't have any at this point in my life. First it was facial hair. Today I set out to do a Best Athlete Mullets column, but in the process of developing the post I found that I would be limiting a deep talent pool if I limited the list to mullets. The post evolved into something along the lines of Greatest Hair in Sports. I don't really know what else to call it. For this project, greatest will be assessed according to a few variables: innovation, style, longevity, flexibility, ridiculousness, and generally adding to the aura or greatness of the athlete’s legacy. I have decided not to sort this list into any specific order, but would appreciate any feedback on who deserves the top spot (including any I may have missed). I have tried to represent each major sport here.


Tiger Woods
It looks like Tiger is attempting some type of leopard or jaguar pattern with this spotted mane. I'm surprised he didn't dye a Nike swoosh into the side of his head.


Deion Sanders
Deion’s early hair style is in the vein of the 40-year-old virgin, A.C. Green, but Deion gets the pub here because of his swagger. Combine this amazing jheri curl with bling, a rap video, and great dancing, and Prime Time is in a class of his own. Deion even attempted to turn the jheri curl into a mullet, with mixed results.


Andre Agassi
Thick and lustrous, Andre Agassi had hair that most women would kill for. He quickly became a star in the tennis world, in no small part due to his beautiful locks. In an unfortunate twist of fate, Andre began to lose his hair and he now sports the shaved look. It seems that Agassi was a reverse-Sampson – after shaving his head he won 6 of his 8 Grand Slams. However, this should not put a damper on the legacy of his earlier hairstyle.


Jaromir Jagr
This mullet is flat out spectacular. From the way he puffed it up in the front like women used to do in the mid-80s (and the way southern women still do) to the slicked back sides, Jagr’s hair curtain is tremendous. Words cannot do it justice, so I’ll let this picture do the talking.


Oscar Gamble
How Oscar managed to somehow smash this fro into a baseball cap is beyond me. It is unfortunate that baseball players are required to wear hats because this hair deserved to be celebrated and unleashed. Gamble’s fro was innovative and stylish while maintaining longevity as a style to be reckoned with for years to come.


Scott Pollard
Pollard has had so many hairstyles that a list could be composed of the best hairdos of Scott Pollard. This particular one will suffice for this post, but please recognize the creativity of this man. He has gone blonde, bald, Mohawk, and long, all while being just as creative with his facial hair. Pollard truly is a forerunner.


Dennis Rodman
The Worm gets some love here for being a harbinger. I remember playing NBA Live 96 and wondering what color of hair Rodman would have each game. Rodman’s hair transcends basketball in that it, combined with his ridiculous antics, made him a household name.


Larry Bird
I can’t go without mentioning Larry on this list. Larry’s hair was similar to his game in certain respects: fundamental, not too flashy, unattractive, yet surprisingly impressive. Bird’s hair only adds to his greatness – he looks like the last guy you’d choose in a pickup game (if he weren’t 6-9, but you get the gist) but he’d light you up all game long and tell you about it the entire time.


Mel Kiper
Kiper’s perfectly sculpted hair is a thing of beauty, rivaled only by Steve Lavin and Pat Riley. Kiper makes the list over those two because of the 90210-esque height obtained on the front wave. Mel’s hair allows him to be relevant more than one day a year.


Alexi Lalas
I am not a soccer fan. In fact, I hate the sport. That said, soccer brings a tremendous wealth of ridiculous hairdos to choose from for this list. I eventually went with Lalas because of the combination great hair-great goatee. The fact that both are the same exact shade of red is also impressive.


Dr. J
Julius Erving rocked an amazing afro. Long, supple, buoyant, and versatile, the Dr. J fro paved the way for players such as Ben Wallace and Josh Childress, who sport afros that are nowhere near the quality of Erving’s.


Randy Johnson
I have to use the obvious joke here and mention The Big Unit's shlong (short in front - long in the back). Randy presents with a stellar mullet that is a bit longer on the sides than the traditional mullet. This provides added versatility – the sides are more easily slicked back for black tie affairs, such as the ESPY’s. The fact that his tress also happens to be quite curly adds to the look.


Pedro Martinez
Pedro combined the Holy Trinity of hairstyles in his early career, bringing a Dominican flair to the afro/mullet/jheri curl combination. You can’t tell me that standing in the box with Pedro on the mound sporting that triad wouldn’t intimidate the crap out of you. How else could such a small guy stand on the hill and be considered a power pitcher? What a weapon.


Rick Fox
Quite possibly the most impressive follicular specimen on this list, Rick Fox is flat out beautiful. Or so I have been told. I know his ex-wife is beautiful. Anyone who appears to use more hair products than his beauty queen wife must be included. Plus he’s gorgeous.


Brian Bosworth
The coiffure of the Boz was astounding. Bosworth is like Scott Pollard in the sense that each was able to consistently show up with any hairstyle and have it be impressive. Plus, the Boz was one of many Seattle Seahawks draft picks to never pan out. As a Seattle fan, he holds a special place in my heart.


Adam Morrison/Steve Nash
Why neither of these two does a shampoo commercial is beyond me. This flowing hairstyle hearkens back to the days of Peter, James, and John. Speaking of Biblical times, I am reminded of Songs of Solomon 4:1 – “Your hair is like a flock of goats descending from Mount Gilead.” I don’t know what that means, but I respect it.


Boyd
PlayBoyd is an excellent athlete, no doubt. Try and get through a pick-and-roll with Boyd or defend his unlimited range on the perimeter and tell me he isn’t an athletic exemplar. It can’t be done. Add to that a frohawk-substantial beard combination that makes him look like a serial killer and screams intimidation, and Boyd is nigh unstoppable.

NBA Predictions

With the NBA season around the corner, it’s prediction time.

Atlantic Division:
It’s pretty clear that the Celtics are the frontrunner in this division. Rondo is severely underrated and the Big Three play off of each other better than most people expected. KG is still the best big man in basketball and Paul Pierce has been underrated for a long time (I will assume that has changed after last year). The Celtics might be pushed by two division foes, Philadelphia and Toronto. How will Chris Bosh and Jermaine O’Neal fare together? If those two mesh well, with Calderon distributing the ball, Toronto can pose an interesting challenge to the Celts. The Sixers have a solid nucleus with Dalembert and Brand up front and Andre Miller and Iguodala on the perimeter. The Celtics will win the division, but Toronto and Philly might make things interesting.

Central Division:
I like Cleveland to win this division even though the Pistons have won six of the last seven division titles. The Cavs continue to show their toughness in the playoffs and it will finally translate to a more consistent regular season this year. Mo’ Williams was a good pickup for this team and losing Larry Hughes only makes them better. The Cavs are above average defensively and are a great rebounding team, both antidotes to solving the Pistons. I also think that the Cavs will trade Wally Szczerbiak and his expiring contract for some help, which will get them over the hump that is the Pistons. The other three teams in this division suck, but I’ll be interested to watch the progress of Derrick Rose. Rose is amazingly athletic and if he develops a better midrange game he can be dangerous.

Southeast Division:
This division is tough because Orlando, Washington, and Atlanta can all be good this year. It seems the trendy pick is Orlando, but I’m predicting the Hawks to put it together and pull off the division title. Joe Johnson took a step back last year, but he began to get back to form at the end of the season. With more time playing next to Bibby, Johnson will have a big season. Added to that are the constantly improving Al Horford and Josh Smith. Atlanta is the pick because I don’t see Orlando and Washington improving much, if at all. This division has many points of interest: Will D-Wade stay healthy? How good will Michael Beasley be? What will Arenas do to improve his already stellar track record of awesomeness? Will Caron Butler start to be recognized as one of the best players in the league?

Eastern Conference Finals:
Celtics over Cavaliers. The Cavs are a tremendously tough playoff out, as they proved last year. James will put up some big numbers, but so will Pierce and the Big Ticket. Boston will knock Cleveland out of the playoffs again, this time in the conference finals.


Northwest Division:
The Jazz will win this division and it won’t be all that close. The Nuggets will drop off this year, the Wolves are a few years away, and the Nothing Interesting Geographically About Us's suck. The Trail Blazers might do some good things this year, and could very well win an NBA title in the near future, but they probably won’t fully put it together this year. The Jazz are stacked and experienced. Deron Williams is in the discussion for best point guard in the league, Boozer is a brute, Okur drives a yellow Ferrari Maranello, and AK 47 does a little bit of everything, including one woman a year as approved by his wife. What holds the Jazz back is their interior defense. Okur can defend occasionally, and Boozer plays matador defense. If the Jazz improve in this area they could legitimately challenge for the NBA Championship.

Pacific Division:
The Lakers are the class of the Pacific, with the only potential challenge coming from the Suns. The Suns-Lakers rivalry just keeps getting better, especially with Shaq now added to the mix. Amare was ridiculous toward the end of last season and could lead the league in scoring this year, and Nash is still a top 3 or 4 point guard. But the Lakers are just too talented and deep. Kobe, Odom, Gasol, and Andrew Bynum is a pretty sick quartet. Add to that Fisher, Farmar, Vujabic, Walton, and Ariza, and you have an impressively deep team. The Lakers are the class of the division - and the conference.

Southwest Division:
This is the toughest division to forecast. How will the Rockets fare? Will T-Mac or Yao actually stay healthy? Will Artest fit in well? Can the Spurs bounce back? Are the Hornets just a flash in the pan? Will Kidd finally mesh with the rest of the Mavs and give them a chance to take the division? My gut tells me to pick the Spurs, but I’m going to ignore it and go with the Hornets. I just can’t pick the Spurs with Ginobili out for a while. New Orleans will again be good and Chris Paul is expanding what is expected of point guards in the NBA because he does everything. I kept waiting for this team to fall off last year but it never happened. They got needed playoff experience and will again make a nice run.

Western Conference Finals:
Lakers over Jazz. I like the Spurs to be the toughest matchup for the Lake Show, but that will happen in the second round after New Orleans wins the division. I am predicting the Lakers to be the top seed in the West and have the homecourt, which is especially valuable in this matchup. The Jazz match up well with the Lakers and have experience, but in the end Kobe returns to the Finals.


NBA Finals:
Celtics over Lakers. I go with Boston to repeat for several reasons. The last team to win the NBA championship after losing in the Finals in the previous season was the 1989 Detroit Pistons, and I don’t expect L.A. to buck the trend. Kobe is attempting to play out an entire season with an injured finger. How will Bynum fit into an offense that worked so well without him last year? The Celtics showed their mettle last season by winning two game sevens and then beating Pistons and Lakers teams that many thought would win each series, and Boston is better defensively and on the glass than are the Lakers. The Celtics will hang another banner in the rafters.


League MVP:
LeBron James. LeBron is off the charts statistically, and with the help of Mo Williams this season the Cavs will win the Central Division. James just keeps getting better and the sky is the limit - which is insane. James will beat out Kobe and Paul to win the MVP this year.

Best rookie:
Greg Oden. He won’t win the rookie of the year award (Beasley’s stats will be too impressive), but he’s a game changer on both ends of the court. Oden is a tremendous rebounder and shot blocker with an expanding offensive game. He’s going to score in double figures just off of offensive rebounds, so what happens when he develops more of a post repertoire? He’ll take his licks early, but Oden has already proved that he responds to challenges: He went for 25 and 12, with 4 blocks in the NCAA Championship game against Joakim Noah and Al Horford, both lottery picks. Oden is the real deal.

Breakout Star:
Al Thornton. Thornton put up 12.7 ppg and 4.5 rpg as a rookie last year, and with Corey Maggette moving to Golden State, Thornton’s game and numbers will improve. Of course, this is assuming that he gets some touches while playing next to a chucker like Baron Davis.