Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Why do you people love dogs so much?

I feel better now that the when and where of air instruments have been clarified. The other day when I was blasting out a solo I wondered what Boyd's take on it would be (he would have said it sucked because it was music he wouldn't be caught dead listening to). When PlayBoyd says he breaks out the air guitar on a daily basis, believe it. He can't hear a song without mimicking some type of instrument. It's part of his charm.

On with the not-so-sports post. So I was in the grocery store last week and I noticed as this fat guy strolled in wearing a Brett Favre jersey. Due to my ire toward Favre and the fact that it is mandatory, I was preparing to drop a sarcastic comment to my wife about the fact that Brett Favre just walked into a Smith's in Utah when I realized something more annoying and disturbing - he was carrying a dog. It led me to question - and I sincerely want the answer to this, so please help me - why do people take their dogs with them everywhere they go? The dog can't stay home? Anyway, this guy struts right over to the produce section and proceeds to fondle and manhandle just about every piece of fruit in the place while holding his little mutt. It made me cringe a bit.

As another example, my family had dinner at my mother's house last month in honor of my grandmother's 80-something birthday. One of my cousins decides that it would be nice to bring his chihuahua to the dinner party. He brought a cage, a little carrying case/bed, and the dog. To my mother's house. For a dinner party. Now, there isn't much I like more than having a chihuahua around when I'm eating, but to bring a bed and a cage just made it perfect for me. Plus, when I state that I don't want to pet the dog, I get stared at like I'm packing around three bollocks. To top it all off my three-year-old daughter is petrified of any and all dogs, so having the canine around was great because I couldn't pry my daughter off of my leg (at least it wasn't the dog).

So I must ask - what is the obsession with one's dog? Why do dog owners think that others want their dog around too? I saw a guy riding his bike along Main Street last week with a backpack on. Strapped to his backpack was a dog. Why? To pick up chicks? Because people will think you're cool? Because you're lonely? There are remedies for each of these things that do not include you bringing your dog into the local establishments. Doesn't taking a dog into a restraunt or a grocery store constitute some type of health code violation? And what about people who are allergic to dogs? Do you ever think that some people might actually think that your dog sucks? I can tell you right now that the odds are that I think your dog sucks and I don't even know what breed it is. Unless you're blind, your dog doesn't need to help you pick out clothes at Dillard's. Just because your dog fits in your purse doesn't mean that is where it belongs.

I was at Wal-Mart a few months ago to pick up the new Coldplay album and a woman had her dog with her. Well, the dog couldn't wait and decided to go ahead and drop a loaf right there in the electronics section. I assume the lady cleaned it up, but having a canine defecate a few feet away from me when I'm CD shopping doesn't exactly enhance my shopping experience. Instead of bringing your puppy to the store, can't you just carry a wallet photo? Or actually be apart from the dog for 45 minutes?

I know that many people out there are dog lovers and I don't mean to offend. I just want to know what I'm missing. I don't get it. Boyd is a dog lover - there is even a sticker on his wife's car window with the family and a dog. I planned to write about idiots who wear game jerseys around like it's the shiz (shout out to Jim Madsen, who does not sport Celtics jerseys, nor does he own one) but it was superceded by my need to rant about this. I feel like the joke is on me and I don't get the punchline. What am I missing?


Boyd said...

First off, as a man, never admit to buying a Coldplay CD. We all do it, but you don't want that attached to your name.

Second, I think most people think that because they love their dogs, everyone else does, too. Lots of people seem to have this crazy idea that other people have the same likes they do.

Lastly, I would never take my dogs into public, nor assume that other people like them. I only take my dog 1 place: to my parents house for Sunday dinner because I don't care if my family doesn't like him.

Rich said...

You know how I know you're gay? You bought a Coldplay CD!
Also dog lover and as you recall I was the guy bringing his pup to the office for training purposes. I too however must agree that they have no place in stores or food establishments. Don't even get me started on little dogs....Labradors all the way!

Taylor said...

I never said I wasn't gay...

Rich said...

Not that there's anything wrong with that!